"I have never seen a greater monster or miracle than myself" -- Michel de Montaigne (16th-century philosopher)

You are your own competition and your own inspiration!

Ego is bad. That's what we've all been told as kids. Don't think of yourself so highly because then no one will listen to you. While that's true, many of us are shying away in fear, sitting in the corner while letting other people talk, when each and every one of us has an impactful opinion. Many are too modest in their speech and present themselves as lower than they actually are. Ego is not something to be scared of, it's our identity, and we should use it to our advantage. 

Does anyone else realize how modest we are? I'm sure all of us have something to brag about, whether it's being a sports champion or winning an academic competition, but most of us hold our impulses to tell others. In other words, humans are modest even if they have things to brag about. According to Scishow Psych (a great youtube channel), this is due to us not wanting to appear as a threat to other people. Conversely, showing off our ego seems to intimidate other people. 

It's important to realize what exactly we're scared of when we show off to other people. Yes, we're afraid that our friends will ditch us and hate us, but the problem runs much deeper than that. This is where ego comes into play. Think of yourself like a balloon with ego being the air. Filling the balloon with too much air causes it to pop, or having too much of an ego results in your reputation popping. On the other hand, taking out too much air causes the balloon to shrivel, just like our self-value when we lose our ego. The pump in this balloon scenario would be the other person. Pumping air into your balloon would be the other person building you up while pulling air out of the balloon would be the other person bragging. In other words, everybody tries to find a balance when bragging, they don't want to be seen as unimportant but also do not want to be seen as pompous. 

Modesty is the counter to an ego. Everybody tries to find their place in the world by weighing how important they are on the social scale. Sometimes, what doesn't seem like a big deal to us is a huge deal to others. More often than not, however, what seems like a big deal to us is a trifle to others. Whenever we tell other people something, we take the risk of interpretation, meaning we have no idea what the other person will think when we tell them something. Unfortunately, this risk ties in very close to our reputation, because if we take away someone's ego, then they'll hate us for doing so. Furthermore, modesty acts as a sort of security in our conversations, because it ensures that the other person will not feel hurt for us bragging, but it's not foolproof. 

There have been multiple personal scenarios where someone tells me about their award by saying "it's not a big deal" but my ego gets hurt anyways. As I look back now, I realize that I worried way too much about how other people were "better" than me. If you think about it, ego is our way of reaching our ideal self. We look to see what other people are doing and then copy their positive traits to try and boost ourselves. For example, when I see one of my classmates with bulging muscles, I wish I could be like them. If one of my classmates does better than me on a test, I question why I couldn't get the same or even better score than them. If my friend gets a girlfriend before me, then I'll question how I can look more appealing. Ego is essentially a competition against others. 

See, there's the problem with ego. It is not fueled by ourselves, but rather the sense of competition against our peers. Our high school environment, although subtle, throws everyone against each other to get into a good college and fight to the top. Ideally, if everyone was given a good future, then we wouldn't care about what other people are doing and everyone would mind their own business. Clearly, that's not the case. 

Many of us can name the people who we think of as egotistic, but few of us can name the shy people in the corner. Notice that although ego is "bad", people who express their opinions are the ones who can bring change to the world. Social acceptance is suppressing our opinions because we're all afraid of appearing as a threat. That being said, talking is not the only way to express your opinions, take this blog post as an example. The key equation with ego is: Ego + Action = Impact. And that's why we're all here, to make an image for ourselves. And if you rearrange the equation, Impact-Action=Ego. It's quite simple, everybody can just talk and have ego, but few can combine their ego with action to create an impact. Finally, Impact - Ego = Action. When you're all done worrying about how other's will perceive your actions, then you can start performing those actions. This key equation is what changes the game. Although ego is seen as bad, it is a key piece in the puzzle of identity and impact. 

Here are my final two cents for ego. First, you are your own competition. It's much better to try and improve yourself organically than using other people as a template. You should try to be better than yourself from yesterday, rather than try to beat anybody else. Ultimately, you are what matters most to yourself. Everybody prioritizes themselves over others, it's just human nature. SO STOP TRYING TO BE LIKE OTHERS! Secondly, don't take yourself for granted. Just because you have some successes in life doesn't mean that you're going to win every competition you go to. You may be a champion, but there are thousands of other people fighting for your same position. NEVER use ego as a stopping point. In other words, never ever tell yourself that you've done enough because you can always do more. Instead, use ego as a catalyst for innovation! Push yourself to go forward so you know that you're going to be your best self every single day!

Never let anyone use your ego against you. You need to respect your individualism. Don't let others overpower your opinions just because you're afraid of being a threat. At the same time, don't think of yourself so highly that whatever you say is whatever goes, it's important to listen to other people and consider their views. Don't be a mere soldier that anyone could live without, be the person who makes a difference. Finally, don't be shy. Shying away from anything means you give up your own ego to let others talk when you clearly disagree with them, and your opinion goes out the window. Minority and majority do not matter when it comes to expressing your opinions, because you never know when you could change the world. Remember, your ego is your identity. Protect it at all costs, but remember to continuously self-improve and change yourself for the better. Be selfish.