When you lose someone dear to your heart, you feel a lot of things...
Hate,
Pain,
Remorse.
And I am just one of millions of people who have lost someone...but this person I lost was someone who could never be replaced...
Jacob was my lover, friend, and the only person who wouldn't judge me right away, or ever for that matter. And I will never forget the day my life changed forever...
I knew Jake had been going through some things with his relationships; both with his parents and his boyfriend Drex. His once playful personality suddenly turned isolated and cold...he never wanted to talk about it, and I was afraid to push him too far...now I wish I did push.
His final day with me had a different atmosphere...and a part of me knew that something was wrong. He seemed, distant, and also closer to me than we ever have been...before I left for home that night, I remember him grabbing me, and kissing me like it was his last...he'd never kissed me with such, force or...what I guess you could call passion. I still wish to re-live that moment; wrapped in each other, not caring about the truck running as his brother was waiting to drive me home, just caring about him, and that kiss. When it was over, he hugged me and said his last words to me, and I will never forget them. "Remember that no matter where you end up in life, I will always support you, and I love you. For forever and a day." After we said our goodbyes, I went home. Only to receive a call the next morning from his brother...
Losing Jake brought me pain and heartache, but it also showed me that you need to hold onto the people in your life, family, friends, whoever. Because your never going to know when your time with them will be your last...
~In Memory of Jake
...I love you.