Summary:

In the year 3190 the UN had a meeting discussing the use of abacuses. Over the past few months they had become extremely popular and were being used for all sorts of new things. There were people doing abacus tricks, abacus-boarding (which was very dangerous by the way) and even abacusing, which was instead of cussing people just said abacus in a very loud manner. Anyways, the UN was discussing what to do with this situation. There had been a Vietnamese lab that exploded while they were testing abacuses for anything abnormal. After that there was an older fellow from Canada who got confused and tried to use the beads of an abacus as sugar. When he put them in his coffee he ended up drinking wood. This caused him to become exceedingly ill. After this very day it became illegal around the world to use anything related to an abacus. This is also the day that our story begins.