The Revenge | Teen Ink

The Revenge

November 7, 2018
By Bgarton1025, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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Bgarton1025, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
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Author's note:

I am Bryce and I am a student at PPACS

The author's comments:


   Jon and Kim have always been close friends, and Jon was ready for the next step. He asked Kim out and she said yes. Jon and her went to a restaurant for their first date, and something was off about Jon. Kim thought that he was really odd, but she thought nothing of it. Kim ignored and assumed it was something playing with her mind. They ate and had an overall great night. Jon drove Kim home and they said goodbye. They went out a few more times after their first date and it seemed right. Jon decided he wanted something more, so the next time they went out, he asked the big question. “Will you marry me?” He asked. She was extremely excited and she said yes. They had a beautiful marriage, and they were on their way to the honeymoon. They got ready and packed their bags. They got into their car and set out on their way. They were going to a remote lake in Michigan, but they had to drive through many different terrains. It was really hard to navigate through cities, but after breaking out of them, they were in a rural area now.

    They were driving down a long winding road, Jonathan and Kim talked and listened to music. They flipped through the few radio channels to hear religious talks in three of the five. They joked and made fun of how strictly religious these people were. They preached about things that no human should hear. Kids were raised learning discrimination and prejudice. It felt as if the more they drove, the further into nowhere they went. They went from seeing cities, to seeing houses with pools and big backyards, to farms with huge cornfields. Then they drove past there, into nowhere, a dirt road with trees surrounding. They lost all connection to their phones, and their GPS stopped working. They were completely lost at this point, so they decided to turn around.

     Jon looked at Kim and said, “I’m so happy to be with you.”

     Kim smiled as her cheeks turned red, “I love you Jon.”

     “I love you too Kim, but I’m so lost” Jon replied.

     “Let’s just drive around until we find somewhere, just enjoy the ride.” Kim said with the wind blowing through her hair. On their way back, they took a wrong turn and went into a long field with a single house. Kim told Jon that they needed to stop and ask where they were. They pulled over to a single raggedy house on the side of the road. They walked onto the porch and the boards cracked as if they were centuries old. Kim knocked on the door and after the third knock, the door opened. They waited outside, hoping someone to come out. After a minute or so, they walked in, expecting someone to be close by. They called out for someone, but no response followed. It was getting darker and it was obvious that no one had been in the house for days at least.

    “Let’s just stay here for the night.” Jon said.

    “Why would we stay in this creepy old house?” Kim asked

     “It’s better than sleeping in that car, at least we have cots, so we won’t have to sleep on the floor or on any of the beds here. It’ll just be easier.” Jon explained.

     “Fine, but I want to be out of here as soon as possible!” Kim exclaimed. They set up their cots that were prepared for the cabin they were supposed to be in by now. It was so quiet in the house, and Kim got bored as Jon took a nap. She decided to go exploring, so she went into the basement. She walked down and it was extremely sleek. It was all metal, and looked like it was cleaned everyday. There was an odd door in the back of the room, and Kim walked towards it. She opened the door and with a loud screech, it opened. She walked inside, to freshly cleaned tools. They were a mix between knives, gardening tools, and some that she had never seen before. She got a chilling feeling in her heart as she saw one tool with blood on it. She went directly upstairs and she told Jonathan that she wanted to leave. She begged and pleaded to at least sleep in the car. He told her to calm down because the house was in the middle of nowhere.

     He said, “The house is nowhere near anywhere that they can get food, so they probably hunt and prepare their own food.”

    “I don’t think so Jon, I’m nervous” Kim replied hesitantly. Jon told her that as long as he was alive, he wouldn’t let her get hurt. This warmed her heart and convinced her to stay and go to sleep. It took awhile, but Jon calmed down Kim and they went to sleep. Kim abruptly woke up in the night to chanting from the second floor. She assumed it was someone home, so she crept upstairs to see. Slowly and quietly she peaked into the room and saw people worshipping some weird statue of a deer. The deer was upright and it was slightly decomposed. It smelled terrible, but none of the people seemed to notice. She went downstairs and told Jon to come check it out.

     They went up and not one person was in the room, but both of them stood in awe at the statue. It looked like someone crucified it, but why? they thought.  Jon was convinced that Kim had spooked herself and imagined the people. They went downstairs and she was so on edge. He looked at her with a doubtful stare, asking if she was okay. She looked at him sadly and asked if he believed her. He said no, and Kim brought him downstairs to show him the tools and knives. They went down and it was a basement with a few boxes in it, obviously set up to prepare meals. “It’s nothing Kim” Jon said, and at this point he was nervous about Kim’s mental state. They went upstairs and went to sleep, but Kim didn’t, she just sat in the cot as voices filled her head. They started as whispers and turned into screams. She cried the night away, terrified for her well being. The next morning after finally getting some sleep, they both woke up ready to leave. They went back to their car to see that it was tampered with. The gas line was cut, obviously on purpose it was sliced and the gas had been drained.

    They were both extremely confused, so they used what little reception they had to call 911. They called and they told the police to track their location. The police had never even heard of their spot on the map. They begged to get picked up by the police, but the nearest police station was miles away. They had to wait another day until they would arrive. Kim decided to try and wash her face, so that she wouldn’t be tired from the previous night. Throughout her face washing, the water turned to blood and when she noticed she let out a scream. Jon ran upstairs to see nothing, but her crying in the bathroom. He went downstairs and pretended that he didn’t see her. He assumed that she was having a breakdown, and that it would be helpful to leave her alone. The blood all over the bathroom at this point, when the steam in the mirror formed to words, letter by letter. It said, “GET OUT” and when Kim finally looked up at the mirror, she saw it and cried even more. She begged to leave, but Jon wanted to wait for the police. He advised her to go into the car and sit to calm herself. She listened and headed into the car. She dosed to sleep, after not getting much the night before. John wanted to stay up and watch over Kim, but he had narcolepsy
and just went out.

     To the sound of knocking on the window, Jon was awaken. Jon woke up Kim. She woke up and gathered her bags from the house. When she walked in the living room, she realized she left her phone in that god forsaken room. The room that she never wanted to enter again, with that putrid deer in it. She ran into the room get it and the door slammed behind her. Bodies broke through the walls and surrounded her. The bodies were covered in cuts, but the cuts formed weird symbols. The cut up bodies got her, and she realized that her hallucinations were not fake after all. She knew her fate and her life ended with her screaming. Jon walked upstairs and saw her body on the statue, nailed to the deer. The police were there, but they never saw Kim. He was nervous that they would frame him for the murder, so Jon left, never seeing Kim again. His plan had worked perfectly and he had sacrificed Kim.

The author's comments:



    Jon got home safely and he was proud of his work. It was the 20th person that he had sacrificed, and he was sure that he would reach immortality. The more he lived on, the more he realized that he made mistakes killing those women, but it was too late now. One night while Jon was laying down in his bed, mad at the world, he heard something outside. It was stormy, so he just assumed it was the wind or something of that sort. Then he heard it again, it sounded like metal hitting another piece of metal. He was confused for a second, but he blew it off and went back on his phone. Right as the lightning struck, the thunder followed, and so did the noise. It was raining extremely heavily at this point and he thought something had fallen over. This was his first assumption, but he had many other thoughts about what could have been going on. What if it was someone out there, trying to get in? He didn’t know what he would do if there was, but he had to make sure.

    He walked out of his room and looked out of the door. Someone was hitting the door, and she saw him. With a screech of anger, she started running at Jon. He lived alone now, so he just ran back into the house and locked all of the doors. He thought that by the time that she got in, the cops would be there. After locking all of the doors, he dialed 911. He lived in a rural area, so the police would take about 20 minutes to get there. He grabbed a big knife from the drawer and he went into a room with no windows. He thought that she had left, until he heard the sound of shattered glass hitting the floor. His heart dropped as he realized his sad fate. She let out a shout, “Come out now and I’ll make it quick!” He was not ready to die, so he stayed in his spot.

    He curled up in a ball, and he made the worst mistake ever, after hiding for hours with no sound, he started to doze off, until he finally fell into a sleep. It was very dark because the room had no lights nor windows. Sadly Jim was narcoleptic, and he couldn’t stay up anymore. It was late and he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer. He had a very peculiar dream as he slept. Everything was slowed down, and he was able to look back at all of his life and reflect on it, he realized that what he did to Kim was wrong. She kept popping into his head until a screech erupted in his ears. They bled and he woke up abruptly. He got a text on his phone, it was from Kim. “Come out Jon, I have something to say to you.” The chanting that all those people heard before their deaths, was playing in his head. He broke down and realized what he had to do, he got up and opened the door. As he opened it up, someone opened his front door. He ran at the woman and tried to tackle it. He went through it. He realized that it was his past wife. She laughed and said it was his turn to see the dark side. He was never seen again...

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