Diary JOURNAl of Maximus J Brent | Teen Ink

Diary JOURNAl of Maximus J Brent

December 18, 2016
By Kavin_the_Savage, Pleasanton CA, California
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Kavin_the_Savage, Pleasanton CA, California
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Author's note:

I was inspired by the book, Diary of a wimpy kid, and if you haven't read it, do it now

Ok first things first, this is not a diary, it is a book, and the only reason I agreed to do this is because, when I become famous and write an autobiography, this will help me do it, and whoever thinks I will write about my feelings in here is crazy.

Anyway, my full name is Maximus Jason Brent but I go by Max. I am 11 years old. I have a 14 year old sister named Addison, and a 4 year old brother named Diego. My best friend’s name is Chris Jackson. Also, sorry this is very boring.

Now I don’t know if I have said this yet but I have excellent memory which will come in handy when I write in this book. I can remember everything that happened even before I was born.

There I was relaxing , as happy as I could be, when, I was violently disturbed by a freakishly loud sound, It was some kind of classical music. I guess my mom thought that if she played classical music for me every day, I would be some kind of genius.

Just when the music ended, I thought it was all over, and I could go back to relaxing, But a few seconds later I realized i was just beginning. That is when I met my dad. Whenever dad came home, he would give me a really long rundown of his day through the microphone

The thing that really bugged me was that, i could hear anything that was happening, and I had to hear everything that was going on with my mom, even the disgusting stuff with her doctor about digestion and other things that trigger my gag reflex.

After a few months of living in there like that, I just had to get out, but once hit by those blinding lights in the hospital, I realized I had made a huge mistake that I would regret for the rest of my life. Now you know why newborns are always crying right after birth.

For the first few days of my life, I had thought I was an only child, but that was only until I met addison. I was upset and I could tell she was too when she tried to mail me away.

After that, Dad converted his office room into a nursery for us. Since addison got the crib I had to sleep in her storage bin which I’m not sure is even legal.

Ok, out of babyhood, tomorrow is the first day of school and I’m not gonna lie, I’m kind of nervous. A few days ago, mom wanted to take me back to school shopping, but I asked dad to take me. I made that move because, dad doesn't bug me all, he is always busy with his stuff, and he wants to get out as fast as possible.
Today, at about 3:00, chris invited me over to his house to get ready to look good for school. I didn’t want to show up wearing ridiculous outfits that ruin my chances of winning the best dressed award, so I said yes.
I biked as fast as I could to the Jacksons’ place and rang the doorbell. His dad was not happy to see me which was no big surprise considering how many times I have gotten in trouble with him.  Chris was waiting for me in his room, and he told me that they had some really sick leather jackets and sunglasses in his basement. After that, we headed down to the basement and found a whole BOX of leather jackets. We spent the rest of the time in his room, trying on different types of jackets. Then out of the blue, his mom walked in and made us cookies. Chris told her that we found the box of leather jackets and trying them on. Even better, his mom told me that I could keep one of the jackets! Which pretty much killed the point I spent an hour going shopping for jackets earlier.

We waited for his mom to leave, and then we went back to trying on jackets until my mom called his mom and told me to come home. I picked an black italian leather jacket which looked stunning on me.

After my mom called me home I biked as fast as I could for dinner because, on sunday night, is mom’s pizza night, and her pizza is the best.

Unfortunately, by the time I got back, all the pizza was gone. Not such a good day at home.

Today, my sister Addison is starting to get on my nerves. She was hogging the bathroom so I had to shower with the hose outside. When I finished dressing, I complained to mom about addison, and her excuse was that, she was a high schooler, and she needed her sweet time. That started a huge debate in my house, mom was on addison’s side, and dad was on my side.
Dad and I were dominating them in the debate, but then, when we realized, that we were so wrapped up in the debate that we forgot about school!
We still had two minutes, and it was 15 blocks away so we had to pedal like we had never before. I was going so fast that I reached in within a minute, and made it to my first period class on time. I had history first. When I first went into the room, I saw chris. I was happy that I was in the same class as chris but I was not happy that Jenny was in the class too.

Jenny is my nemesis from elementary school. I am not the only one that hates her. A lot of people hate her and call her names like one called the wicked snitch of the upper west side. That was the one I came up with.

Anyway, at history, not much happened, Mr. Sprint spent so much time revising the rules that we could not even learn anything, and I’m not complaining or anything.

Today at P.E., Mr. Mcinnis did not make us do much, all we covered was our pre sport routine, our P.E. schedule, and the rules. He told us that we were going to start dance tomorrow which really freaked me out since I was horrible at dancing

After all that drama, we had drama, then lunch, then math, then science, and lastly, language arts. All the same first day schedule. Although, the only new thing is that, Jenny is not in my science class, so that is good.

Today, Addison beat me home but only because her new high school is closer that my middle school. Addison and I were home alone for the first time because my mom was teaching at her school, and my dad had some office job working for a company. When I came home, mom left a note that said that addison was in charge, But that was a huge mistake, she just sent me to my room and made me do my homework while she just sat in hers snapchatting her friends, and whenever she needed something, I had to wait on her all day.

I was not surprised that we had homework in every period except science. Jenny had written a speech to her teachers saying that we should get homework every single day. That means no TV at all, and I have Jenny to thank for that.

Once my parents came home with diego, they were really exhausted. I told them how Addison enslaved me and banished me into my room, but they were too exhausted to listen, and she got off scot-free.

Ok so looks like my first day of school did not go so well, but, today is a new day so I have another chance to turn my year around. Same morning routine, showering in the hose, eating breakfast, biking to school ; same old morning routine.

Same old routine at school, but at P.E., we started SQUARE DANCING, I was relieved because yesterday, the teachers said we had to make up our own dances, and like I said, I have sucked at dancing ever since I was BORN. Square dancing actually was not that hard, in the calls, they pretty much told us what to do. Anyway, science was the easiest, all the other periods were normal, boring, and went by in a flash.
Even when I got home, things were the same as yesterday except, I refused when addison enslaved me today.

I finished my homework early, so I called chris over to do something fun. When he came over, we just talked about stuff, and decided what to do, It was really hot outside, and we were pretty much broke so we decided to open a lemonade stand. Our stand was pretty simple, and so was our lemonade, we just found some lemons in the kitchen, and squeezed them to make lemonade. We did not really know how to make lemonade, and we couldn’t search it up because, addison confiscated all of our technology so we just butchered it. We had a few customers, but they were just criticizing our stand and our lemonade
One person said that we had put in too much sugar but after we took some out, she wouldn’t buy any. Another customer said It was too sweet and we needed more water, but I don’t think he appreciated the way we solved that problem. We saw another kid a few blocks away , trying to open his lemonade stand, but he was only 4 years old so ours had to be better. Then, nobody was coming to our stand, and they were all going the the other kid’s stand so we went to check it out. Turns out, his stand made our stand look like a piece of junk. It was obvious that his parents did the whole thing for him. We tried staying out in business for a few more minutes, but we realized we couldn’t beat this guy so we gave up

The next day at school did not change at all, history, square dancing, lunch drama, same old, same old, bla bla bla. This went on for the next few days
From this point forward, I will only talk about the important stuff.

Today, the teachers did not give us homework and I have no Idea why. We were all happy but, again jenny was not, and I also heard from chris that it was going to snow next week, and yet we opened a lemonade stand 2 days ago. There is this weather channel that he watches which is really inaccurate. He used to tell me that there was a blizzard coming at mid summer. I used to fall for it, but I realized that it was fake.

I actually can’t believe what is happening, Chris was right about the snow day. School was cancelled due to the snow, so that was luck. I called Chris and told him to come over so we can go snowboarding off of a hill. When chris got here I told mom that I was leaving, but that was a rookie move, she said that addison had to come with us. I agreed only because Addison does not care what happens as long as she is with her friends. The second we left the house, she went over to her friend’s house, and chris and I went to Death drop hill. We wanted the highest hill in town so we headed up. Once we got to the top, chris freaked out. He is basically a little kid. Last year, in the puberty, video, chris passed out within a minute. I told him there was a clown handing out presents at the bottom, so that seemed to convince him, like I said, little kid. We both went down at the same time and when we got down, He was traumatized. I enjoyed it but chris went home. I went down a few more times but then it got old so I went home. Unfortunately, I forgot all about Addison, so the first question mom asked me was, “ Where is addison? “ Then I had to tell the truth, about how addison went to her friend’s. Mom thought it was mostly addison’s fault so she grounded me for a day which is still totally unfair because It was ALL her fault

Yesterday I didn’t do much since I was grounded but today addison is grounded and I am not. I called Chris but he was busy, at his cousin’s house, so i just stayed in to play video games all day. Dad came home early today, so that was a bust. Whenever dad comes home, he just kicks me out of the house to do something else. I just biked over to chris’ house to see if he was back yet, and sure enough, he was. We wanted to do something fun. We talked about what to do, and we decided to build a fort in the woods. The reason I said the woods, is because chris’ parents are overprotective of him, They never let him even touch a hammer or even a nail. We told his parents we were going snowboarding and hid the wood, and tools in out snowboarding equipment bag.
We got started on otr treehouse but chris was afraid that he was going to get hurt. I snuck back into MY house and brought him a motorcycle helmet, a bulletproof vest, and a pair of metal strong gloves. That seemed to do it. We got started, and we got about ¼ of it done before it was time for dinner. My mom called Mrs. Jackson and told her to send me over for dinner. Wednesday night, we usually go to a restaurant, so we won’t have to eat mom’s horrible meatloaf, but today, dad had an emergency problem at work so we didn’t  go to a restaraunt. I just went straight to bed because I did not want to eat mom’s meatloaf.

Today, I woke up early because for some reason, I couldn't sleep. I saw the mailman carrying something from my school. I went outside to see what it was. It was an award for not missing a single day of school. It looks pretty weird, but it was still cool to win it. I wanted to stick it on the wall, but dad caught me and said it would damage the walls, and he did not want to junk up the house. I did not know what to do with it so I just gave it to diego. That was a huge mistake, because diego stuck it right in the middle of the brand new flat screen TV! Dad payed more that $3000 for that flat screen without mom’s permission. I went to get some bleach from the kitchen but that glue must be permanent. I found some steel wool pads that looked like they should do the trick. I used them and the award came off as easy as pie. But what I did not know, is that the steel wool pads scraped of part of the Tv screen I tried fix it but I could not put it back on, so I went with plan B. I wrote a note in a technician's handwriting, saying that the tv was not working properly. Then I taped the note over the broken spot. I thought that would buy me a few days but turns out, I was wrong. Dad wanted to fix the tv but mom said that it was too good for us anyway. They had a huge argument, they compromised. Dad had to trade in the tv for a different more compact tv, and I got grounded for 3 days.

School was cancelled again due to the same reason, so I headed over to Chris’s to continue building the treehouse. I probably should have called because when I went, he wasn’t there. Mrs. Jackson said that he would be back in a few hours so I went home to do something else. When I was about to start video-gaming when mom stopped me and said that the snow was getting very deep outside so we had to conserve as much energy as possible so we don’t get a blackout. We turned of every electric power source that was not being used. Then we just sat down doing nothing. Diego, was apparently freaked out, and he went to his room. I kept asking mom why we couldn’t use too much electricity, and she kept saying it was because If we used too much, we would get a blackout, and sure enough, she was right. After a few seconds, the power came back on but we were really hungry. We looked all over for food we could salvage, but we couldn’t find any. I remembered that I had a box of pizza, donuts, and whole stash of candy hidden in my room for emergencies. I went in But I couldn’t find my emergency food. At this point, addison was going crazy because her cell signal went down. We tried to make do with the food we had but we ran out within three seconds. At that point, we all just went to bed. I was just drifting off to sleep when I heard a knock on the front door. It was chris. I was confused what he was doing here but he said he was just giving away cookies. I told him about the food drainage and the power outage. I could tell that he was confused. He said that he and the rest of the street had power. He also suggested checking the fuse box, so I did, and you will never believe what I saw.
I rushed into diego’s room as fast as I could. And there, I found, My pizza, donuts, my candy, and even all of the groceries that mom bought a few days ago. I really chewed diego out for doing this, so he threw a temper tantrum, which woke everyone else up. I went to the basement and turned on the fuse for the rest of the house, and went back to video-gaming. For some reason, this time, dad did not care

Today, the snow started to clear up which means We have to go back to school tomorrow, and, yesterday, diego only got a timeout which is totally unfair since I was getting grounded when I was 4.
I was just  about to start my video games today when mom stopped me and said I had to interact with actual people, so I invited Chris over for a sleepover. By the time he got here, it was already dinner. Dinner did not take long, after that, we found one of addison’s scary movies, and watched them, Well, I watched them. Chris got afraid and closed his eyes and ears the whole time. It was about a doll that gets mailed to a family and goes around killing them. After the movie was over, I explained the whole thing to chris, and I must have done a pretty good job because, he was more afraid than me. We just decided to go to sleep, but chris thought another doll would just come and kill but I told him to just suck it up and sleep. A few hours later, at about 2:00 AM, We heard the sound of a doll. We were terrified and we ran upstairs in full speed. We bursted into mom and dad’s room, and told them that the house is haunted and we had to move immediately. Dad did not believe us so he went to check it out himself.
Turns out it was just one of diego’s toys called tickle me and laugh. Dad wanted to know why we were so terrified so we had to tell him the whole thing about the horror movie. Dad was really mad, but mom told him that I was just trying to have a fun “playdate”, and that seemed to calm him down. What really confused us is that, addison hadn’t made a peep in all this racket, and usually she is super sensitive. We went to her room to see what was up, and we couldn’t find her anywhere. Mom and dad were freaking out at this point but I was happy. Dad was about to get in the car, and drive all over the city to find her, but then mom remembered that she had put a tracking device on addison’s phone after she ditched me on the snowboarding day. She opened up the gps and gave it to dad. Dad took of and eventually tracked her down at her friend winnie’s house. Apparently, winnie was having a party and addison was invited. Dad was so mad and he dragged addison home by her hair extentions.

The author's comments:

To Be continued...

I couldn’t keep up with my journal because I was too busy taunting addison about her punishment. Today, she woke me up at 6:00 AM because she was screaming since mom and dad took her phone a few days ago after the party incident. Speaking of mom and dad, they can sleep through about anything, and speaking of addison’s phone, mom and dad gave addison’s phone to me since they knew I hated her and would never give it back. I just tried to ignore the noise and go back to sleep but two seconds later, she busted into my room. Apparently, she was so desperate for her phone that she would pay me big time. I wasn’t interested in the money because I could get money whenever I wanted since I knew where mom and dad keep the money they give us as allowance, so I told her no. When it was finally time to wake up, I went to the living room and check the weather, and all the snow was gone! Which means tomorrow is back to school!!!
Mom and dad were actually HAPPY that school was reopening. Addison was not that ticked off since she had no social life anymore, and her phone is driving me crazy, every 10 seconds she gets a text, or an alert. Apparently, it’s a big deal to be offline for more than 6 minutes in high school. Today, since I had nothing to do so I called chris and asked him. He thought we should continue building the fort that we built earlier. I realized there was no other options so I caved in.

But when we went, we found a huge surprise



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