Casual Cultist Episode 1: The Cultist Seeks Approval (Pilot) | Teen Ink

Casual Cultist Episode 1: The Cultist Seeks Approval (Pilot)

June 26, 2022
By steamymuffin7 BRONZE, Arcadia, California
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steamymuffin7 BRONZE, Arcadia, California
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Author's note:

I wrote this pilot as an assignment for my TV Writing class at school. I got so attached to the idea, I wanted to write more episodes. I'm not much good at writing scripts so excuse anything out of place structure and story-wise.

The author's comments:

I'm not sure how to put something in script form into teenink so excuse the weird structure.


The door to a broken down home slams open. It was kicked open by SAMAEL (likes to be called Sammy), a non-binary 20-something tired-looking cultist. They’re dragging a random bruised guy across the floor with a meathook through his hands. The guy seems mostly unfazed.

CLUELESS GUY: Sooo... what’s happening right now? SAMMY: You’re asking NOW? CLUELESS GUY: I was in shock. I just needed some time to process this current situation right now.

Sammy drags the guy through the living room while his blood trails behind.

SAMMY (SIGHING): Name’s Samael. But please call me Sammy. I’m... sort of a cultist. CLUELESS GUY: Ooh, that sounds fun. What do you need me for? Sammy drags the guy through a hall. SAMMY: You’re going to meet someone... uh... very special. His name’s Apollyon. He needs you for something. CLUELESS GUY (CHUCKLING): Heh. What, is he going to eat me or something? Sammy doesn’t respond.

The guy’s eyes widen. He starts to scream and struggle, making it harder for Sammy to drag him.

SAMMY (STRUGGLING): Stop... moving...

Sammy kicks the bathroom door open and drags the guy inside. They hang up the meathooks on the wall so that guy is hanging from the floor and then start brandishing a butcher knife. The guy squirms around, trying to escape.

SAMMY: Alright, do you want your death to be painful or painless? CLUELESS GUY (SOBBING): Painless! Painless! Wait a minute... I don’t want to dieee! SAMMY: Painless? Guess I won’t be needing this.

Sammy tosses the butcher knife into the bathtub.

SAMMY: Guess I’ll just throw you in then. CLUELESS GUY: Throw me in where!?

Sammy opens the toilet seat to reveal Apollyon inside, a horrifying demonic creature. Apollyon roars in hunger.

SAMMY (WAVING GOODBYE): In there. Enjoy your meal!

Sammy hoists up the guy, who is screaming, off the wall and heaves him into the open jaws of Apollyon which he is then promptly devoured.



An ad plays on a TV. It shows a nice view of a peaceful town. Houses are lined up in symmetrical rows. A man with a suit and a jolly smile pops up.

TV MAN: Is the world getting too tough? Is the world just becoming a bit too much?

A graphic of a cartoony Earth appears and small explosions can be seen on it. The Earth coughs and hacks, just appearing miserable. The graphic fades away and the man is standing in the lawn of one of the neighborhood’s houses.

TV MAN: Well, come down to the sunny town of Ville to escape from it all! A warm and friendly community is here to welcome you! Hi, MARTHA!

Martha, a woman with a seemingly forced smile, comes out of one of the houses in a robotic fashion and waves to the man. He waves back.


Martha robotically goes back into her house as the man chuckles to himself.

TV MAN: What did I say? Friendly! Hi everybody!

A person comes out of every one of the houses (including Martha again) in the same robotic and forced smiling fashion as Martha. Everybody waves as the same time as the man waves back.


As they return to their respective homes, the man slowly walks towards the streets. “VILLE” appears on the screen in big, bombastic letters. The slogan quickly follows suit.

TV MAN: Ville... The Town Where Nothing Bad Happens, Ever!

The TV is turned off, revealing the reflection of Sammy, clutching a remote control. They sigh and sit there for a moment. They look a little contemplative.


Sammy walks into the bathroom to see a very peeved Apollyon.

APOLLYON: I’m hungry. SAMMY: Again? You just ate that guy, like, 5 minutes ago! APOLLYON: Being a demonic entity really works up an appetite, okay? Now get me more food. You’re not disobeying me, are you? SAMMY: No, no, of course not. I’ll do as you wish...

Sammy pauses.

SAMMY (CONT.): ...m’lord. APOLLYON: That’s more like it. Now, shoo, begone. I’ve got a lot of thinking to do. About... demon-y things.


Sammy stands outside, looking for something/one.

NEIGHBOR 1 walks by and cheerily waves to Sammy. NEIGHBOR 1: My, my! Simply a beautiful morning, is it not, fellow neighbor? SAMMY: Mm... yeah. Say, can you stand still for a moment? NEIGHBOR 1: You got it, chief! But why do you need me to-

Before he could finish, Sammy throws a knife directly into his chest.

NEIGHBOR 1: Golly. That’s why.

The neighbor slumps to the floor. Sammy starts dragging his body back into the house. Some of the surrounding neighbors start to take notice.

NEIGHBOR 2 : (CHUCKLING) What’s that you got over there, some kinda dead body? SAMMY: Of course not. It’s a... um... life-sized doll.

The neighbors awkwardly stare back in silence.

SAMMY: I need it. For doll purposes. Ciao.

Sammy does a little finger salute at the neighbors before fully dragging the body back into the house.


There’s then a cut to Apollyon chomping on the neighbor’s body while Sammy stands around.

SAMMY: ...well? APOLLYON: Well? What’re you doing there, standing like a dope? Go get me more food! SAMMY: That seriously wasn’t enough for you? APOLLYON: No. Not even 5%.

Sammy scoffs and leaves the bathroom.


Sammy crouches behind a bench (while not doing much of a good job doing so) while raising a knife from above, staring at random people walk by. A random jogger stops in front of them.

JOGGER: What’re you doing there crouching behind a bench, you rascal? And what’s with the knife?

Sammy throws the knife directly into the jogger’s head.


Another cut to Apollyon, eating the jogger’s body. Sammy stands around anxiously.

SAMMY: Sooo...? APOLLYON: Sooo... what, idiot? SAMMY: Are you satisfied? Did I do good? APOLLYON: (SCOFFING) Hardly! If you call that satisfaction, I would’ve been happy years ago!

Apollyon burps, and a bone comes out and hits Sammy’s face.

APOLLYON: You know the drill.

Apollyon lifts up a tentacle and points it towards his mouth. Sammy wipes off guts from their face, scowls, and heads out once again. A montage begins.


A woman picks off a pineapple from a stacked display. The hole that remained from the display reveals the face of Sammy. Sammy shoots a blow dart into her neck and she falls over, asleep.


Three businessmen sit on a fountain, discussing nonsense. Bubbling can be seen behind them. Sammy’s hand pops out of the water and drags them all into the fountain. Only their suitcases remain.

EXT. VILLE PLAYGROUND Sammy, looking a bit more tired, spies on a father sitting on a bench who was looking at his playing son. A second later, Sammy is dragging the father’s body into a bush while a poorly made decoy of the father sits in the bench instead of him. The decoy father has a speaker duct-taped onto his face.

FAKE FATHER: Why won’t you fetch your pop a cold one, boy?


Sammy is now looking even more tired than ever and could barely hold a butcher’s knife before drooping asleep. The butcher standing next to them eyes them weirdly. Sammy falls asleep fully and accidently chops off the butcher’s finger. He stumbles around until falling into a convenient pile of cutlery. Sammy wakes up confused.


The body of the woman, the three businessmen, the father, and the butcher are all thrown into the gaping maw of Apollyon. He chews them all down while a baggy-eyed Sammy watches.

SAMMY: How’s it taste? You good now? APOLLYON: Mm. Could be better. Jesus, you look like hell. You could really use a nap. SAMMY: Can I..? APOLLYON: Sure. After you could get me more food.

Sammy’s bloodshot eyes burst wide open.

SAMMY: WHAT. APOLLYON: You heard me. More food. SAMMY: You’ve got to be kidding me. I spent my entire day, killing, fetching, working my ass off, just so you can get a good meal. And even with all that I’ve given you, you’re still hungry!? APOLLYON: God, are you really this lazy? How come with all the people I could’ve been stuck with, it had to be you?

Silence follows. Sammy looks hurt.

SAMMY: F-fine. I’ll get you that food. That’s what you want after all, isn’t it? APOLLYON: Yeah. I thought I made that very clear already.

They stare each other down for a bit before Sammy storms out outside into the night.


Sammy camps out in the same bush from earlier, struggling to keep their eyes awake. They spy on three friends, chatting with each other, walking down the path. Sammy stumbles out into their walking path.

SAMMY: Y’all are coming... with me. FRIEND 1: Are you drunk, buddy? We can take you home if you’d like. SAMMY: (TO THEMSELVES) Three people at once... that’ll show him. FRIEND 2: Hello? SAMMY: Oh. Sorry, sorry, just very tired. Too much body dragging. You understand, don’t you? FRIEND 2: I don’t- SAMMY: Hold on... I’ve got a surprise for you all...

Sammy digs into their bag and pulls out a club. They hit all three of the friends simultaneously, and they all get knocked unconscious.

SAMMY: Surprise.

Sammy ties up all the friends and attempts to drag them before collapsing (and then proceeding to sleep). Time passes and it’s pitch dark outside. Sammy wakes up to find that the three friends have escaped. They pick themselves up and trudge back home.


Sammy opens the bathroom door and switches on the light. Apollyon is waiting there within the toilet, moping around.

APOLLYON: Where’s my food? Did you know how long I’ve waited? Why can’t you do anything right? SAMMY: I’m tired, Apollyon. I’m tired of killing people, dragging them around, only just to fill up a fraction of your stomach. I’m trying my hardest, okay? APOLLYON: I don’t care that- SAMMY: And I’m tired of you pushing me around. I may be stuck with you but the least you can do is be civil about it. All I want... is for you to just appreciate me. Apollyon doesn’t say anything. APOLLYON: Listen... when you first fed me that second guy today, I lied about being hungry after that. I... just sort of enjoyed the attention and care I was getting from you. SAMMY: (SHOCKED) Wow, Apollyon. I’ve never seen this side of you. I’m touched, actually. APOLLYON: Shut up! You heard nothing! Go to your room!

Apollyon pulls out a tentacle and forcibly shoves Sammy out of the bathroom. Sammy just smiles to themselves and starts to go to their room. Suddenly, a phone near Sammy starts to ring and they reach for it.

APOLLYON: (CONT'D) I’ll get it! Apollyon quickly picks up the phone and a mysterious voice is heard. ???: It’s been a while, Apollyon. APOLLYON: Oh sh*t.


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