I was standing in line to get a hot dog, looking down at my muddy, black converse and at a bright haze up ahead of the field. I shudder. The lady hands me my food and I go to sit down. 8:29. Not time yet. I look over and see Tony sitting next to me, socializing normally. I do not bother to listen to their conversation because I can’t, my thoughts occupy my mind.  

“Gross Tony, your shoes are all muddy.” said the girl Tony was socializing with. 

“I’m just a dirty boy.” Tony replied, smiling. I just look ahead of me as they say all of this. 8:30. It’s just the beginning of the fourth quarter, we’re winning by seven. 8:33, I glanced at the clock. Not yet. Not yet. Not- 

“Stop looking at the clock, you look like a psycho.” Tony says in my ear. 

I get up and walk down the steps, whenever my mind gets heavy I have to walk around. I walk over to the area by the bathrooms and see Victoria with her muddy shoes as well. We make eye contact, but she rolls her eyes at me and immediately walks away. I look down at my shoes again and then the clock. 8:45. Almost time. 

I did not think it would actually happen, my anger blinded my sight of right and wrong. I actually felt remorseful and I knew Tony and Victoria didn’t. It was something that had put all of us over the edge. 

It was dishonesty that did it for Tony. Tony was raised in a rough household and his father was a very stern man. It was a fake type of love between them, his situation was one that you had to be right there to see in order to know. At basketball and baseball games, they would hug and Tony’s father would even say kind fatherly words, but at home I knew Tony would suffer the consequences for messing one thing up. Everything must be perfect in his dad’s eyes; no crying, no lies, no swearing, nothing. Only I knew this burdening fact and I will never forget the time Tony had started crying because he was so frustrated and his dad slapped him. I was only there to tutor him and I feel like it was understandable for him to cry about trigonometry, but his father said crying was for girls. No tears. After that visit, I knew Tony had such a tough exterior, almost apathetic, but still an ass sometimes. So, you can assume Tony’s temper wasn’t very lenient, especially when it came to lying. 

The only person who could handle Tony was Victoria. Victoria and Tony had a connection that only they understood; with Tony’s cold personality and Victoria’s rough self esteem, the two were interchangeable. I never knew why Tony didn’t just date her. They always hung around each other and after that incident when Tony’s father slapped him, Victoria brought him gatorade and cookies. I thought this was a peculiar act of Victoria because the only person she cares about is herself, but I realized that Tony was the person that she cared most about in this world. The only problem was that Tony was not available and this bothered Victoria deeply. 

 It was jealousy that did it for Victoria. She had a very weird way of letting you know she hated you, she would compliment you. If she hates you, you probably have something that she doesn’t have and that bothers her. I try to infer why she is like this, I think it’s because of her older sister. Victoria’s father always paid more attention to her older sister, Scarlett. Anything Scarlett wanted, he would give it to her. She was a straight A student (but she certainly didn’t get those grades on her own) and their father praised her for every occasion there was. At Mia’s birthday party she invited both Scarlett and Victoria, Scarlett was flaunting her new makeup lashes having all the attention on her while Victoria sat there and watched. It was as if we were invited to watch a battle between them instead of a birthday party. 

Outside Victoria seems like a nice, confident girl, but I knew who she really was on the inside. Victoria would do anything for Tony, but Tony was with Mia and Victoria couldn’t have him. I think that’s why when Mia kissed me, Victoria told Tony. 

Mia and Victoria had a very bad falling out a couple weeks before homecoming; Mia sometimes is very cold, but no one realizes it because she is known as the sweet girl of the town. Victoria is sometimes known as the opposite, but Mia did something that falls under that category of things. When Mia and Victoria were best friends; they would do everything together, but they have very different family values and situations. Mia’s parents are extremely financially stable as she received a 2019 Chevy Equinox for her sixteenth birthday while Victoria has to save up for her own car. This was one of the many conflicts they had while they were best friends, it was like they were competing against each other; trying to win something even though there was no reward and no trophy. It seemed like Victoria was always struggling against either Scarlett or Mia. 

What Mia did was the last straw for Victoria. Only a few knew or talked about it because no one would ever believe that Mia would say such a rude and insensitive thing. They were in gym class and Victoria had asked Mia for a ride home. 

“If you pay me.” Mia replied. 

“It’s not even far.” Victoria replied angrily. 

“It’s my car.” After this, Victoria started to shout at Mia very loudly. It seemed like she was going to hit her. The argument escalated to a totally different topic as every conflict between them came out. 

“It’s not my fault your mom left you! She probably didn’t want to raise a bitch like you anymore.” Mia screamed. Victoria slapped her. 

I think there were many reasons why she told Tony about the kiss. 

Mia my next door neighbor, I had known her my whole life and I was actually someone who cared about her, unlike Victoria. 

She had kissed me two days before homecoming while she was still together with Tony. I was helping her with algebra and she had started crying. I did not ask why she was crying, I just sat there for a while. Her face was red and her eyes were puffy, she kept fidgeting with her curly, brown hair so I stopped her and held her hand. Then it happened. A genuine, soft touch between our faces. I took the kiss as a sign of hope but soon I found out that my thinking was wrong. 

“She doesn’t like you,” Victoria said to me after the night of the kiss, “it wasn’t actually serious, she told me she regrets it.” My face turned red, I was embarrassed.

“What are you talking about?” I replied to her. 

“She said the kiss was disgusting. Did you actually think she liked you?” Victoria says. This girl that I have loved for quite some time now finally was mine but it was just a lie. 

“I thought she did,” I replied to her, “I guess I was wrong.” 

“I know you are obsessed with her.” she said to me. 

“I am not obsessed with her.” She smirks at me. 

“Well, I want to do something. I want to get back at her and I think you want to too.” At first, this suggestion was crazy to me, but then I thought about how I would have to start over. I did not even look at another girl because of my hope for Mia’s attention and now that was done with. I was resentful, I was hurt, I was angry. I brought her coffee when she needed it, I gave her my algebra answers, and I drove her home when she was too drunk to even talk. It was a heartbreaking revelation to me. 

“She did not do anything to you though.” I said to her. 

“She never deserved Tony and now she has done this but Tony still is considering staying with her. It’s my turn and I want to do something now.” Victoria replied. She knew the only way to get Tony over with Mia was to get him mad. 

So, it was set. Victoria, Tony (who was not very happy to be near me), and I were going to get back at Mia on friday night. Our alibi: the football game. 9:00, everything would happen. 

“Why would she kiss Danny?” Tony questioned as we were driving to the woods. Victoria looked at him, annoyed. 

“Maybe she loves him,” Victoria replied, “but maybe not.” She said the second part looking at me. 

“Yea, well I guess you won.” He says. 

“There are no winners in this situation, not even you Victoria.” I replied. I realized that Victoria and I were kind of in the same situation in life. She loved Tony and he didn’t love her back, not like he loved Mia. People said Tony was mean to her but they were always together. I loved Mia, but she didn’t love me back. I don’t know who Mia loved, but it wasn’t Tony and it wasn’t me. I think Victoria sees this too, but it hurts when the person you love most will never feel the same about you. 

We get to the center of the woods, the wet leaves and mud all over the ground interrupt my thoughts. 

“F! My shoes are ruined!” Victoria yells. I ignored her and tried to stay warm through the freezing rain, I just want to get this over with. We each have something of Mia’s; Tony has her car, Victoria has her homecoming dress, and I have her journal. I don't even know how Tony got the keys to her car, but he did. 

We poured gasoline all over the car and then made a small path up to a tree with it, one of us would have to stay back to light the path up with a lighter and then quickly get back to the game. 

“This is a pretty nice car though.” I said, they gave me disgusted looks and then continued to set up our plan.  

Mia will notice her car is missing deep into the game, the car is mostly a metaphor of us burning her back for what she did to us. The actual thing that will get to her is her journal pages. At 9:00, her pages will automatically post on a random account on twitter and will ultimately ruin everything she has been working for in this town. In a small town like ours, everyone knows everything about you and if you made one mistake, you were over with. Mia’s reputation was very important to her, her family is known for being the wealthy, participating family of the town. 

 I am holding a book of all of her secrets and all of her thoughts, I think about throwing it in the car but this should be saved. I dug up a muddy hole and bury it. 

“You should bury her dress too.” I said to Victoria. 

“No, she should put it in the car so it burns.” Tony said. Tony knew how much Mia loved her homecoming dress. 

“I’m not doing either of those things, I am keeping it.” Victoria replied to both of us. 

“You’re crazy Vic.” Victoria wouldn't let go of it. We knew she was jealous of Mia, but the dress was just an extreme sign of how jealous Victoria got. 

“Let go Victoria, please?” I said to her. 

“I need this Danny.” She replied, she looked desperate. She put it in her backpack, Tony wiped down the steering wheel and door handles just in case some parts of the car would survive. Finally, we were done with the first half of the plan. 

“Danny, you’re waiting here and lighting it.” Tony said, pointing at the car. 

“I am not the one that is going to light it. No way.” I replied. 

“We can’t be seen with you and I don’t want to light it so you’re lighting it.” He had a very stern and dark expression on his face as he said this. They started to walk back, I stood there and waited for it to be time. It’s crazy to think about my motives and how I was apart of this cold act. Mia was pretty, smart, and kind but she shouldn’t have done what she had done. 

“Be careful who you tell things to.” I said to her after my talk with Victoria. She was upset about our kiss. She knew how much it meant to me and she knew that I knew that she did not feel the same way. I felt bad but I had to break her hold on me. Her gaze. Her power. I remember the first time I saw her and Tony together, him not paying much attention to her and she was just sitting there bored. I thought about what Mr anderson said in the movie The Perks of Being a wallflower: “We accept the love we think we deserve.” I don’t know why I had loved her so much but I did and she didn’t love me back. And that hurts. What hurts the most is that she acted on it and used it. I was calmer than the others, my reasoning was only to defend myself and to finally end this chapter in my head. 

8:23, I light it. I run fast back to the game.d 

Everyone notices the dark gray smoke coming from the woods once I get to the concessions. 

“Someone burnt their house down!” Some kid says, laughing.

Then, they see the blazing orange and yellow colors inside the middle. I notice some trees catch fire, shit. 

8:59. One more minute and then we’ve really ruined two lives in this town, the tree’s and Mia’s. 

9:00. They’re posted. I look at my phone and see it all, I read the poem, that I had already read a thousand times before, that Mia had written in english class. 

What are you to me?

because I know what I am to you, 

or at least I know how good we could be. 

Am I someone you see? 

Or am I someone you look through? 

What are you to me? 

I read an entry from her journal, another one that I am familiar with. 

He’s so mean, but I’m not so nice myself. 

The police and fire department show up, I quickly start to panic. We didn’t go over what we would do if the cops came, all we did was talk about if one of us got caught on fire. 

“Literally just roll around on the ground, you’ll be fine.” Victoria said. 

I see Tony get stopped by the cops and turn around so fast in the opposite direction only to see Victoria get stopped by more. I begin to think about how bad this plan is. As my mind is going in circles, someone grabs my arm. 

It was Mia. 

“I know it was you guys that did that to me.” She says. I have no idea how to reply, my hands start to shake. “I didn’t tell the cops about you, but you need to tell them you didn’t see Tony and Victoria at the game.” 

“Why?” I ask. 

“Because they should get what they deserve.” She says to me. When Mia says this, I get chills through my body. Not in my life have I ever seen her be so cold. “You have a choice.” 

I do have a choice but it is a difficult one. Should I choose revenge and tell the cops I did see Tony and Victoria at the game or should I choose love and tell them I didn’t? Mia had a choice as well. She could have told the cops my name and they would have seen all three muddy shoes, a lighter, and Mia’s homecoming dress and make the connection. But she didn’t tell them my name. 

She kissed me and now I am stuck with this burden of revenge that was so easily achieved. I wanted to hurt her, I wanted to make her love me very much but you can’t force that on someone. I guess I was just blind to what the answer was. I have to make this decision fast. 

“You had a choice not to kiss me, but you did.” I say to her, I feel my face turn red. She looks at me with deep sincerity and now I understand the truth. I walk away. 

I wait for the cops to question me as they are questioning every single person in our grade. They will not let anyone leave until everyone has been questioned. Everyone in line watches the firefighters stop the fire in the woods with their hose. It was as if our bad decision was being washed away. We made a big mistake with our plan, i’m pretty sure burning down trees in the woods in something to go down for, destruction of property (HUGE destruction), stolen vehicle, cyberbullying, etc. The list goes on. They finally get to me. 

“Where were you when this series of events went down?” The officer asks me. 

“I was standing in line to get a hot dog.” I replied. 

“Do you know these people,” He points over at his police car, “Tony Vercales and Victoria Hammond?” 

“Yes, I know them.” I wait for the question. 

“Do you know the victim, Mia Langford?” 

“Yes, I know her. She’s my neighbor.” Just wait. 

“Do you know where Mr. Vercales and Ms. Hammond was when this event was happening?” There it is, my choice. My time to make my decision but I think it was already made.