Fixing Hearts | Teen Ink

Fixing Hearts

November 17, 2013
By Kyndra_Langdon, Campbellford, Other
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Kyndra_Langdon, Campbellford, Other
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Favorite Quote:
"I would drown my demons, but they know how to swim."


It was cold and harsh out. Canadian winters were much more different and cold then Australian ones. It cold wind, making my bones shake. The thick white snowflakes falling from the dark clouded sky. It was dark out, well not dark... The sun was setting. The reds, oranges, and yellows, mixing with all of the pinks and purples, followed by the settling blue sky. The ending of the day for us, and the beginning for someone else's.

I was cold and starving. I missed my brothers and I'm used to my parents being gone. My dad working in the dead small town, forcing us all to move closer and moving away from Australia. I wasn't happy, at all, so I ran away. Not only that, but all of the kids at school thought that my accent was stupid. I felt unwanted by everyone but my brothers. So why did I leave? They were good to me. They were there for me. I left because I was being selfish and stupid. Only problem is, is that I don't know my was home. I don't even know where I am. I have my phone, but it's dead. I can't find any outlets either, and I'm not just gunna walk into some random persons house and use their outlet.

As I walked down this street, I could smell food. I looked over, and read a sign. The Gondola. It smelled pretty good, but I ran out of money long ago. I haven't eaten in at least three days and I'm already a pretty skinny person. I always have been, always had a small thigh gap, but happily my ribs didn't show much. Only if I stretched, or bent a certain way. I was one of those girls who can stuff their face, and not gain a pound. I looked down at my shoes. My pink Vans, being very vibrant against the slouch and snow. I pulled a piece of my hair in front of my hair to see if it's still the pastel pink that I dye it to. It is, but it's quite washed out since I last washed it, about a week ago. I look at what I look like in the window of some building. I was pale, paler then I've ever seen myself. My pinkish-blonde hair messy, but still curled. My blue contact lenses are slowly going dry, and my cheeks are lightly sunken in. My cheeks were very red, and my hair looked as if it was going to die and fall off any minute. My thin grey hoodie pulled over my long sleeved black shirt. My black leggings staying skin tight and not blocking a lot of cold wind at all. Lastly, my white backpack, not full, but not empty either. I hated the image I saw. I wanted to go back to the way I used to look. The person I saw in the reflection, that, that person, wasn't me. It couldn't be. I didn't want to believe it was, but I had to. I knew it was me, I just deny it, and always will. I had writing all over it from my friends and I from Australia. I looked down at my hands, my fingers were lightly tinted purple. I put my hands in my pockets and continued walking as if I knew where the hell I was going. When in reality, I'm lost. Very, very lost.

I put my head down and turned, I walked a bit more, and stood on the curb. Wondering, am I going to die? Will my brothers find me? If they do, will I be alive? Will anyone miss me? Will I live? Will I get home? Will I find a way home? I really wasn't sure. I was lost in my thoughts, when I herd a voice behind me. I turned in shock, and looked at whoever it was. There was an averaged heightened guy, he had black hair, and looked half Asian. He had green eyes and seemed pretty toned. His hair hung in front of his face and I wanted to push it out of his face. But, I didn't.

"Come inside, you look cold, and its warm inside." I looked at what he was wearing, and he seemed to be a waiter.

I was quite shocked to have someone offer for me to come in. I was guessing that he me wanted to come into the restaurant. I haven't replayed yet, and he was just starring at me. I followed him into the restaurant, it was warm but the smell of food made my stomach hurt, but made my mouth water.

"Take a seat." He muttered, as he led me to a small booth. I sat down, and we chatted for a few minutes. He looked about seventeen, eighteen? He was really cute though. He asked me questions, I asked him questions. By the end of our conversation, he was ordering me something he called a panzo. I have no idea what that is. At all.

"Why are you ordering me food?" I asked, my voice coming out very quiet. As if I didn't want to ask, I honestly didn't. I just wanted food, warmth, and a shower right now. Is that too much to ask for? I guess not, but for people on the run, or who live on the streets it's really all we wanted. As the food came over to our table, it made my stomach ache. I quickly ate it up, and when i looked up he was gone. I looked around the room and saw him giving other costumers their food. He laughed with them, and made jokes. He was smiling, and it was a beautiful smile. Charming. A little while later, I started getting really tired. I was warm, and sitting in a booth. I was comfy enough, and I began to before I felt a hand rest on my shoulder.

"I'm off of work, if you want you can come over to my apartment and get some warmth. You can stay there until you get back onto your feet." Dante said as my vision was starting to blur. I didn't say anything about it, but I nodded and he pulled my fragile body out of the booth and we walked out of the restaurant.

I was staggering, but I was walking as best I could. My vision was blurred a lot more then before, and I felt as if I was going to drop at any moment. We kept on walking down the dark street as the snow fell from the sky. His hand every now and then grabbing my arm to keep me balanced. He kept on looking over at me. Why was he doing that? Did I look that horrible? I sure hope not. After a few moments, everything started getting really dark and blurry. I stopped walking, for a moment to catch my breath, I couldn't breathe very well. Not for the past few days. I began coughing, and I fell to my knee's Dante grabbing my arm and putting my arm around his shoulders and picked me up just for me to fall back down again, this time, everything going black. I collapse, and everything goes black. It was hard to breathe but the last thing I felt was Dante picking me up.

When I woke, it was still dark outside. I was wrapped up in blankets, and I was on a couch. I could slightly hear someone moving around in the kitchen. I could hear a fridge open and close, I looked over and saw the outline of Dante standing there making a bowl of cereal.

He walked over and I quickly closed m eyes, pretending to sleep. I felt him watching me, it creeped me out a little bit before I felt him pulling the blanket up just a little bit. Just up to my shoulders and then he walked away.He walked over and sat on a chair next to the couch I was on. He clicked on the T.V. and started watching cartoons. He seemed a bit old to be watching cartoons, but I silently watched with him. Every now and then he would laugh at the cartoons jokes. It wasn't child cartoons, we were watching American Dad. I never really watch T.V. but it was nice to have something to do. I laughed at one of the jokes and Dante looked over sharply. Had I scared him? I sure hoped not. I didn't have my contacts in, and I was hoping that he wouldn't see my actual eye colour.

"Oh, uh, sorry if I woke you up." He said quietly.

"You didn't, I was awake when you were getting cereal."

"So, you felt me pull the blanket up? Your eyes were closed."

"I was pretending to be asleep. Sorry."

We starred into each others eyes for a few moments. He had really nice eyes, even though all I saw was the reflection of the T.V. in his eyes. Just the shape, and I already knew the colour. We moved a bit closer. And closer, and closer. I didn't realize we were getting that close until I was starring into his eyes, that were only inches from mine. Close enough to pull into a kiss, but far enough to pull away. We were still smiling, when I felt something moving the blanket close to my hand. Of course, me being me, I jumped back because I didn't know what it was. I looked over to see that it was his hand. I looked up quickly at him to see his shocked face and fear in his eyes.

"Sorry." He said, as he rose from his spot on the couch. I didn't even see him move from the chair onto the couch. He walked over to the kitchen and put his empty bowl and beer bottle into the sink.

"It's fine, I thought it was a spider to be honest. I didn't notice it was just your hand. Sorry." I said, putting my head down.

"Have a good night, I have work, and its about 4 in the morning. I'm going to try and fall back to sleep." He said to me, laying me back down and pulling the blanket back up before heading into his bedroom. "Night!" He yelled as he hit the wall a few times in his room.

Was he talking to me? And why was he hitting the wall? "Night!" I yelled back, when I heard a voice from next door yelling night and hitting the wall. Well that was embarrassing...

5 months later




We were sitting on the couch together, and Dante had just gotten back from work. His hair was pushed back, and we were sitting quite close on the 2 person couch. I looked over at him,and looked up considering I'm too short and only see his side when I look over. He didn't notice me looking over, and I was thinking about just, leaning against him. I did grow to having a crush on him over the past few months. He$ hasn't done anything to try and hurt me in anyway, and he was just a sweet guy. Good looking too. Should I put my head on his shoulder? Should I not? Is he going to push me away if I do? What if he didn't like me back? I'm sure that this is every girls thoughts at one point.

I decided to take a chance. I had to. I needed to. I took a deep breath and slowly started leaning towards him, he looked over and I froze. He lifted up his arm and pulled me closer to him and placed his hand on my waist. My cheeks burned red, and i wrapped my arms around him. He rested his head on the top of mine, and we watched our cartoons together.

After about two episodes of Adventure Time, I started falling asleep. The sounds of Finn and Jake talking the the background slowly faded, and so did every colour in the room. Everything faded until all I could hear was Dante's heart beating.

When I woke up, it was like any other night here. Any night ever. Dark and in the early hours of the morning, and drenched in sweat from the nightmare I just had. I was laying down when I woke up, and the back of the couch felt extremely different. I began to stand to peek into Dante's room to see the time from his alarm clock hat sat on the floor, when I heard a moan from behind me. I slowly started recovering from my nightmare and looked behind me to see Dante with his arm wrapped around my waist, and the couch was extended out into a futon,

"Where are you going?" He asked with a yawn.

"I was just going to check the time. Did I wa-"I cut myself off with the feeling of burning in my eyes. My contacts were dry, and I was out of my liquid stuff. My eyes began tearing up, and i pulled my hands up to my eyes.

"Are you okay?"He asked, reaching out, since I was now sitting up.

I turned, and fell off of the futon and onto the floor, hitting my forehead off of the coffee table. I got up and ran to the bathroom. I nearly ran into the door before I realized it was closed. I quickly opened it with my blurred vision, and ran in. I closed the door and locked it before ripping them out of my eyes.

"Alice, are you okay? Whats going on? Did I do something?" He kept asking me questions, and I kept ignoring them.

I refused to look into the mirror, I haven't looked at my own reflection since the day I met Dante, and I didn't want to until I knew I was healthy. As much as I ate, I've only gained about a 0.5 stones since I've met him. I knew I had to look up, to see how I looked.

I slowly lifted my head to see that I don't look much different. My pink hair dye was mostly washed out from the various showers I've had because I was sweaty from the nightmares. My cheeks weren't as sunken in, but I still looked unhealthy. I had blood coming out of my forehead from when I hit it against the coffee table. My purple eyes looking more dead then ever, and my body not looking much bigger. I still had my large thigh gap, my collar bones still showed perfectly, and then I lifted my shirt. All I saw was my ribs and hipbones, still found easily. I shrieked at the sight and covered my mouth before I began to cry. Dropping my shirt, I stared at myself. That wasn't me, or at least I didn't want it to be. I hated my body image, I looked unhealthy, anorexic. I mean, I have nothing against Anorexics, it's not they're fault they do that to themselves. It's the people around them, and all of the pressure from society that makes them do it. It's horrible. The only reason I've always been so thin is because I have a very high metabolism. I've always hated it, always. And it's never helped me with anything.

"Are you okay in there Allie?" Dante asked.

Allie, that's what my brothers used to call me. They probably think I'm dead right now. I look like it...

My thoughts were cut off when I heard a slam against the door, followed my another, and another. The slams coming one after another until the door slammed hard against me. I screamed from the pain, as Dante came in. "I'm so sorry!" I screamed, even though he was the one who just smacked me with a door. He crawled over to me, wiping the floor from my forehead and he held me. He held me closer then anyone ever has, his rapid breath matching with mine. I have a high blood pressure, I'm not sure about him though. As he held me the pain started in my right side as we were sitting on the floor against the bath tub. I cried into his chest, and began gasping for air.

"Alice, why are you gasping?" He asked sounding really scared. He was terrified, I could tell by the way his voice cracked.

"I- I need my puffer..." I said whilst still gasping.

He didn't even leave the room, he had my puffer with him. Or was it his? As he handed it to me to breathe from, it had my name on it. I took a few puffs before I heard someone walk into the apartment. We looked at each other, and we put our foreheads together. I closed my eyes before I heard a male voice that wasn't Dante's.

"What the f*** is going on in here?"

"Oh, hi Justin." Dante said to this stranger.

"Who the hell is she?" The man asked, as I looked up to see him.

He was tall, mature looking for sure. He looked like one of those Tumblr guys, you know, those really attractive guys that don't look human, but look like gods. Yeah, he was one of them. He had dark brown hair, it was pushed back and he had deep green eyes. He was basically Sean O'Donnell with green eyes is basically what I'm saying.

"She's my gir-she's my friend." Dante said, was he going to call me his girlfriend?

"Ooooh, so you have a girlfriend huh? And why the f*** is she bleeding?"

"I hit my head really hard. I fell off the couch and hit it off of the coffee table." I said quiet enough for only Dante to hear.

"Oh, that looks pretty bad. I'm sure we've got some bandages." The Justin guy said.

"How-? How did you hear me?" I asked, very confused. Then I smelt it. The cat on him. He was a were-cat, I was a werewolf. But I was much more then that, and I'm sure he was too. I was also a witch. He,he looked like James. But I had to ask. "What's your last name?"

"Cooper, why?"

"Just wondering." I knew it. He's a cooper, he's the son of head the of Council; James Cooper. My mother work's for Council, she writes the rule books.

Dante cleaned up my cut, and carried me over to the couch,well, futon. Justin followed us into the living room. Dante put me down onto the couch and put the blanket over me again. I began to stand before he kissed me.



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