Like charmiypiggy said, the story DID go a little faster then what i was used to, but i really enjoyed reading it!! There are SOME things you could fix, like in the flashback, you could make the flashback one lone paragraph. Even though i could tell it was a flashback (and an interesting one at that) you could use past tenses and stuff like that, to really set the scene...........But eventually i did get caught up in the story and the adventure and the romance.

But why was Bernice collecting disks? And for her country? what's going on? Maybe I'll find out in future chapters..........but that was one part i didn't get.

Champaign hair, and killing a man she loves.............now that's a different kind of story. i was shocked when her supposed 'lover' Vince put a gun to her head. That was pretty intense. i like intense :)

This was a creative story and a nice read :) i liked it alot

And do keep on going!! I'm in suspense though i have a pretty good idea of whats gonna happen............:D

Just the tenses. I went from the present to the past without really any transition. I understood it after the first few sentences though.

Thanks! I'll try to make it a little less confusing. And I don't plan on making it like the other love stories so have no fear >:)

This is great! Though it is somewhat cliche. I mean, who hasn't heard of the spy who falls in love with the target? Hopefully, your plot will be different to how it normally plays out. I think that the flow of conversation was a little awkward, and that the pacing was somewhat quicker than I'm used to. I agree that the part with the flashback is a little confusing; you should indicate somehow when he has the flashback. There aren't many mistakes, but the structure of some sentences made it seem choppy. Also, I would have thought that Bernice would be a little... colder, seeing as how she's an assassin. Perhaps you should delay the time when she realises she loves him. I just think that it happens to quickly. Other than that, this was pretty good. Great job! 

Thanks! Ugh! I can't wait until my teacher reads this so I can put up my next chapter!!! What exactly were you confused about? Like, should I have double spaced between the beginning & end of the flashback or did it not show up in italics?

This is a really good story so far. Good job! I was just a little confused when Emmit had a flashback, but that's pretty much it. Keep up the good work. :-)