At 6:00 a.m. my alarm goes off. Today is my day to compete after working and training so hard for my sport. The time to show everyone around me what I have been working for. After a day full of nerves, it is finally time to compete. I perform so well that everyone is talking about my performance the next day. Hearing everyone talking about my performance makes me feel so proud, and it makes me want to keep working. The drive to work hard continues and my performance keeps getting better and better. The season goes by in the blink of an eye. The season has gone well, and I realize that all the hard work I did was worth it. Now it is time to train and work alone again.

 The praise soon starts to fade, and the motivation is hard to find, but once again I made it to the next year. However, this year seems different. I am the only athlete who seems to care about the sport. The same teammates there the year before seem to have given up. The sport my teammates once cared about has turned into a sport they think is a “joke”. This year leaves me being the only one to care and work hard. What once was a team sport now seems to be an individual sport. Although my hard work has made me better than the year before, the accomplishments do not feel as great. I qualify for state but alone, with no one to share the experience with. The season goes by and it is the best season yet, but because of the feeling of being alone during the season it makes it extremely hard to train during the off season.

During the off season I am burnt out, so I do not train as hard as I normally do. My third season comes around, but it is different; coaches, teammates, family, friends, and so many others have expectations from the year before. To many, the pressure may seem helpful but to me it feels like loads of pressure. The thought of not meeting those expectations is painful. Fear starts to role in and the “what if’s” start to begin. The fearless, free, powerful athlete from a year ago is now a non-confident, scared, athlete with fear of letting people down. Even though I did all the training needed to be good and I know I am better, the pressure still replaces confidence. Competitions start and I am under-performing compared to the year before. I feel as if I am letting people down, but I soon realize I am not letting anyone down. All the pressure, negativity, doubts, and lack of confidence are inside my own head. The season did not end on a good note but lots of lessons are learned.

I realize that the reason I underperformed is not because my skill has got worse. The reason I underperformed is because I lost confidence and faith in myself. This season has brought the drive and motivation back in me. During the off season I trained harder than ever before with more advanced training. However, this season I am not as focused on training, I am now more focused on the mental side of competing. I am focusing on confidence and believing in myself. I am ready to perform not only physically but also mentally. I am ready to compete and have an outstanding season for the last and final time, especially after all the lessons I learned.