The boiling hot sun beamed onto us walking out for the state cup finals. The smell of fresh cut grass, the sound of cicadas in the distance. The mix of excitement and nervousness created tension in the air as everyone walked out onto the field. I couldn’t help it; I was nervous. I could feel my heartbeat pounding everywhere in my body as both teams lined up. Starting midfield, like always. 80-minute game, like always. But this was the most extraordinary stage we’ve ever played on. Scouts everywhere. As we got ready for kickoff, fear took over my body. This was my problem. Another opponent.

 “Hey guys, this is our game. Let’s go out there and win this.” Says, Sean. Coach says confidence is the biggest part of the game, but for me, it's my biggest enemy. My thoughts got interrupted as the high-pitched whistle stabbed my ears and the game began. Here we go.

The ball comes straight to me. I drive forward, slip around a defender, and lose it. Very next play, I give it straight away again. I could feel my confidence just seeping away through my fingers. I told myself I wouldn’t lose it again. 

“Come on dude, keep the ball.” Shouts Griffin. It wasn’t mean or anything, we’ve known each other for years, playing with each other for a long time. But not really helping. I just play it safe next time, and pass it back. Barely even on target. I was really losing it. I could feel the scouts eyes burning into the back of my head.

 The whistle blows twice for halftime. Still 0-0. Bad game on our part, but at least we weren’t losing. Honestly, at that point I would be fine with a loss, I just wanted to leave. The blinding, blistering sun peeked through my hair into my eyes. My mouth was as dry as a desert. The water felt like jumping in a pool on a hot summer day as Coach Juan was talking. 

“Aidan, stay out wide on the start, and get up that field. You’ve done it before, it's coming to you on this kickoff. Use your speed.” 

But I didn't feel fast enough. I felt like there were rocks tied to my ankles when I ran. I was surprised I was even still playing at this point. Kickoff came, and I ran up the field. My legs felt heavy, like my cleats weighed 10 pounds each. Ball came flying in, off my foot, and straight to the defender. Man, I can’t do anything right now. I had no faith in myself, and I doubt any of my teammates did either. 

I just tried to play it safe the rest of the half, but even then I still struggled, Three whistles screamed for full time, and there it was. We’re going to overtime. Salty sweat dripped from my forehead as we listened to Coach.

He called out the starting lineup for extra time. There was no way I was still in.

 “…French, Bliss, Lyons, Gross.” 

Still playing. I would usually be happy, but I was going into overtime with zero confidence. As I walked out onto the field, Caden came up to me.

“Hey, you've been having a good game today” He says.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Nah man, you’re balling out.”

“I feel like I’ve played terribly. I’m surprised I’m still in the game,” I said.

“Don’t say that. Honestly, there is nobody else I would rather have on that offense than you. You gotta keep your head up man, we need you up there.”

And there it was. I felt bad, but maybe it was just in my head. My team needs me.

“Thanks man, I appreciate that.”

I ran to my spot, we were doing the same thing on kickoff. The whistle tweeted, and I raced down the field. The ball came sailing in, an absolute dime from Trey. I went in to settle it, and it came right down on my feet. I played a perfect pass to Griffin, and he took a shot. Bang. Off the crossbar. But hey, I made a great play. Maybe I can turn this around. Another play, Caden lost the ball. I chased down the defender, went in for a sliding tackle, hit away the ball, and sent the kid flying. Great tackle. 

“I love that, Aidan,” yelled Griffin. 

I’m feeling better and better, so when I get my chance, I drive towards a defender with a ball. Slip in between his legs, and run around him. I got a shot, so I took it. Wide left, a miss. But this time, I won't get down on myself.

 I run back, and we get the ball. I see Griffin making a run into the box out of the corner of my eye. I slip past a defender, kick the ball to Griffin with a low, fast pass. 

He takes the shot… and he scores! Three whistles blow for the end of the game, and everyone starts dog piling, as the new State Champs. 

Walking away from the field, Caden comes up to me. 

“Man, that was some good stuff.”

“Thanks man, I couldn't do it without you.” I responded.

“What do you mean?”

“What you said. The team needs me. I don’t think I could’ve done that without you saying that” 

Now I know that I can’t get down on myself. I can’t go down the rabbit hole. I learned I have to stay with it, one mistake isn’t the whole game. I have to keep that confidence on the field. Without that, I can’t play my best game.