When I was little, my dream job was always to be a food judge on a TV show on Food Network, but that dream was shattered at a young age. Due to my newly developed allergy, I was going to be expected to take responsibility of what I ate, but it was kind of hard for a six year old to remember to always ask what was in the food they were eating. From that point on, I didn’t realize at the time, but my way of life was about to change. Normally, my parents would make sure of what I was eating, and make sure it was okay for me. As I got older I was supposed to check myself, but that slowly happened less and less.

It all started when my mom wanted to try a new recipe. She asked if I wanted to try a new style of breaded chicken she had made, and being a food loving six year old, how could I say no. I thought it tasted good, but it left a weird feeling in my mouth. I had never experienced such a dramatic tingling feeling before. I didn’t think much of it, but I guess my mom did. One trip to the doctor's office later, and I found out I had developed an allergy to tree nuts, specifically walnuts and brazilian nuts. From there on out, I was supposed to carry around a little bag with EpiPens, just incase I got a reaction.

As I got older, constantly having to ask what was in everything I ate was beginning to become a nuisance and in my opinion, somewhat embarrassing. It came to a point where almost all together I stopped asking, which ended with my misfortune. It even became a habit where if I was going to someone’s house who was aware of my allergy, then I just wouldn’t bring it up because I thought they would realize not to feed me nuts.

On my way out one night, I purposefully didn’t bring my allergy medicine because I didn’t want to carry it around and have to explain what it was. As I walked out the door, I thought I was in the clear, but as I sat in the car my mom questioned, “Where’s your medicine? You know you can’t go out without it.”

“I know. I just forgot. I’ll go get it” I told my mom. I had actually purposely left it, wishfully thinking that for once I would be able to have a night out without any worries.I was annoyed she noticed, hoping this wouldn’t last forever.
That night while with my friend, she offered me banana bread. It was delicious needless to say, but deadly to me. It wasn’t until after I had eaten some of it that anyone had realized there were walnuts in the bread. Once my mouth started feeling tingly, I knew right away. It’s a different kind of tingle from when you eat spicy food or when you accidentally bite your tongue. It’s a feeling you never really forget. After I came to the realization of what I had eaten, the scariest thing I could imagine was happening. It felt like someone had just punched me in the stomach. At first I was more nervous about how mad my parents were going to be when they found out, rather than the that fact I was going into anaphylactic shock. But after I got over my parents being mad, it was made clear what the real problem was, who was going to do the EpiPen. I knew I was going to have to do it, but the thought of jabbing a needle into my leg was hard for my brain to wrap around. I had been taught over and over on how to use it, but when it comes down to it, it’s more nerve racking than they make it sound.

None of the adults around had ever used an EpiPen before. I had seen it done on me years earlier, and I was even certified by my doctor to be able to give myself the EpiPen. But knowing how to do something and actually doing it, are two different things. I was so nervous that when I  used the it, it wasn’t going to work or I was going to do it wrong.  I was on the phone with my mom when she said “Allison, you know how to do this. It’s not hard, you’ll be fine”. And right after she hung up the phone, I had a countdown of “3,2,1” and injected the EpiPen into my leg. It wasn’t as nearly as scary as I thought it would be, but my heart was still racing nonetheless. My parents came and picked me up, and off to the hospital I went.

From that point on I hesitated to ask what was in what I was eating. On top of that, I made sure that wherever I went that little bag came with me. I hated carrying it around, but I came to understand its importance and why I needed it so badly. It became a real lifesaver when I never thought I would need it.