Have you ever felt yourself fall into a low emotional state? Experienced a time where you feel that every ounce of hope and fortitude you could muster completely vanish in one short moment? Well I believe that sometimes people fall apart so they can use the struggle to piece themselves back together stronger and braver than before. It was a summer morning, a Tuesday as ordinary as any other. My brother and I had walked over to my cousin’s house, but little did we know I wouldn't be walking back home that day. I didn't understand it then, but now I realize that with the right kind of hope, anyone can overcome their situation and get back up even when they feel trapped in their weakness.

We raced to my cousin’s yard down the road to fit a quick game of football in before my brother had to leave for work. My team was winning 27-16 but with adrenaline rushing through, we were still ardent for more. My brother threw the ball toward me for one final touchdown, and with all my strength I bolted to where I could see his eyes directed. With eight seconds left, I ran as fast as my tiny legs could carry and snatched the ball. My heart was racing, it almost seemed like a scene from a movie. I was running, running with all I had but, suddenly, in a massive blur, I felt my legs collapse from underneath me, and I shot to the ground. For a split second, I saw my brother and cousins hovering over me with terrified expressions. The last thing I felt was an excruciating pain in my lower back, and then, everything went black.

The next memory I have comes from the hospital bed. Still unable to open my eyes from the pounding sensation in my head, I realized I was also unable to feel or move anything else in my body. Thoughts of fear, frustration and utter panic flooded through my mind, but even still, my body lay motionless. My mind was unable to comprehend or piece together the situation, as it was occupied with confusion and slowly, I blacked out once more. When I came to, all I could hear were the faint voices of doctors telling my parents that I had disaligned my spine which could paralyze my legs completely. My heart and mind were racing with all types of apprehensive thoughts once again, but I could not physically feel a thing except the tears streaming down my cheeks.

Months later, to the doctors’ shock, I was able to walk after having surgery to realign my spine, but I was still undergoing a painful recovery. There were days where I gained the strength to push through. There were days where I could look past my current situation and fight the pain to feel the happiness that I did before. But more often, there were days when the piercing, wrenching feeling burned so terribly I couldn't even find it in myself to roll out of bed. There were days where my legs would go numb from sitting or standing too long and I'd collapse, incapable of anything except to cry out in defeat as if that would provide some time of relief. And there were days where my tears of agony and self-pity made it too difficult to even take a single step.

I can't tell you the amount of times I wanted to just give up everything, that any type of attainment seemed miles away.  Have you ever wanted something so bad but were instantly held back by the reality that it was way too far from reach? They tell you to shoot for the stars, but instead you feel as if you can barely take a step on the ground. At this point any glimmer of hope seemed out of the question, totally futile. Emotionally, I felt nothing. I didn't feel sorry for myself anymore, but at the same time I didn't feel that there was anything I could do to fix the situation. For a little while, I fell into a pit of loneliness despite the fact that there were so many loving people by my side. Every day was a living nightmare that I dreaded waking up to, and I knew they couldn't understand my terror and disappointment. But if there's one thing that I've gotten from my dad, it's to pride myself in my dedication. Yes, it means that I can be extremely stubborn, but it also means that through all my life, I never quit, no matter how impossible. One day after coming home from therapy and looking back on my progress, I decided that it was about time that I stop wallowing in my self-pity of feeling completely incapable and damaged beyond repair, to overcome this battle. For the next 4 months, I fought harder than I ever had in my life to strengthen my legs and reclaim my future.

After pursuing through literal blood, sweat and tears, and after doctors claimed my injury was so devastating that I would be in a wheelchair my whole life, I decided to run a marathon. My parents were against it, saying it would be better if I just waited until my body was stronger and see how far I could recover; but, to me, it wasn't a matter of physical strength, it was a matter of rescuing my faltered  hope and determination.   When the morning of the race came, I began to have second thoughts. Fear and doubt instilled my mind and clouded my optimistic thoughts. Was it worth the risk? What if I really wasn't as a prepared or strong as I thought? Was it worth possibly reinjuring myself and going through the perpetual torture all over again? With the encouragement of my brother, I figured that if anything were to go wrong, I endured through it once and could do it again, but this time, I would have a different perspective. The race had finally begun, and I took off. To this today I still don't completely understand what or how it happened, but it was as if my I had lost control of my body. I could feel the blood and adrenaline coursing through my body harder than I had ever felt in almost a year. I could feel absolutely nothing in that moment except pure joy: joy that I had finally gotten out of my pit of depression and joy that I could no longer be weighed down by my incapabilities. After powering to the end, in all honesty, the pain caught up and hit me harder than ever but completing the marathon allowed me to achieve the greatest sense of accomplishment and hope I could ever fathom. After hearing about my endeavor, the doctors were astonished and called it a miracle, but I call it my victory.

A person isn’t defined by their weakness, but rather is strengthened by it. Only if you allow it to drag you down can weakness overpower and be the sole voice heard in your mind. Hope, is not simply believing that the situation may change but acting on that mentality with perseverance and determination when all seems lost. Of course giving up is a simple answer when you fall down, but finding the strength to piece yourself back together is the difficult part. However, no matter how difficult, with the right kind of hope, which can only come from within, anyone can overcome their situation. The pain I feel today, I like to think of as the scars that remind me of where I arose from or as the light that proves I can make it through the darkest of times. I believe weakness provides fortitude to make one stronger and braver when they fall down.