An open letter to my procrastination,

Dear thoughts in my head, that tend to tell me that reorganizing my sock draw by color and size a everyday day because I simply must have my pair of pizza socks available at arm's length at ALL times more than I NEED to pass that one chem quiz that counts towards my quarter grade.

` Sometimes I find it easier to think about you as a person. A rude, intrusive person, who wants me to be happy but for some reason thinks that me watching Netflix will make me happy, that it is my NUMBER ONE  PRIORITY BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW IF SERENA FINDS HER FATHER OR NOT. You came into my head uninvited (rude) and have plopped down on the coach I call responsibilities (had me shook).You like to open up my fridge and took those leftovers called time management that I've been saving and thinking about all damn day (straight up just an a****** move). You were supposed to be a temporary guest but OH MY GOSH one puppy video leads to 5 puppy videos and suddenly it's 2am and I now know the names of all the dogs breeds that start with the letter j but do not known the elements of the periodic table (goooooooood).

Dear procrastination, I think we need to break up, Why? Showers were once a necessity to stay clean and not show up to school smelling like a dumpster everyday, but lately, they've become a safety blanket. You are going insane, and by you, I mean me. I can feel myself going insane, I mean in what world does it make sense to count the little tiny green seeds on that strawberry just to avoid having to do my homework.

Me: I need to do my english essay
Brain: that can wait you need to finish reading the wikipedia page on the history of empanadas
Me: no I really need to write this it's getting late
Brain: empanadas.

You can be my worst enemy and also my best friend. I guess I have actually learned some valuable things from you. You've taught me how to do 5 hours of work in 20 minutes, and 20 minutes of work in 5 hours.

So, procrastination, I'm going to ask you nicely, please, let's take a raincheck. Let me get my work done, Let me finish  my assignments. I pretty promise that that episode can wait. Im 99%  sure that it's not necessary to put my sweatshirts in coordination by material. And yes, putting my cornell sweatshirt made of cotton next to that bat mitzvah sweatshirt from 4 years ago that's made of wool is a daring move, call me a daredevil.

Bringing myself to write this letter was not easy, considering I put off writing it for weeks. I thought it necessary to address the weakness you can make me feel in my everyday life. Nights of stress about problems I cannot bring myself to solve. You invite friends over to my house without my permission. You know I don't like that person called anxiety, yet you open the door wide. You are aware that the person who they call guilt will linger with me, Yet you still invite him to sit down next to you at the kitchen counter.

You procrastination, who whispers in my ideas that I don't want to listen to anymore.  You, procrastination, who will never understand the repercussion of the actions you force me to do, that YOU deem necessary. You procrastination, who takes my thoughts and turns them into your own, that I do not agree with.

You procrastination, who I have finally found the courage to kick out of my house. You procrastination, who I have put in the very back of my mind. You procrastination, who has now been overlooked. You, who has been replaced with drive, with strength, with passion. You who still visits from time to time.  You, procrastination, you are a piece of me, you are not all of me. And that sentence has been a long time coming.