So here we are. Election day. Election evening, to be precise. It’s 8:56 and I am scared.

When I say that I am scared, that I am terrified, that I can feel my insides turning over, I want you to understand why. A lot of other people have tried to explain why we feel this and no one seems to understand. So I’ve decided to give it a go. Because I honestly do not know what to do if he wins.

It’s 8:58 and I can’t finish my homework because my chest is too tight to breath.

I am 14 years old. I am a girl. I am Jewish. My family and friends around me have similar sentiments. I live where it is okay to be whoever you want to be. It is okay to own your beliefs, your sexuality, your orientation, your nationality. In two hours, that won’t be true anymore.

It is 9:00. I can’t bring myself to look at the polls.

When people become afraid, they look for someone to tell them it will be alright. They reach out for warm hands that will hold them and say Don’t you worry. She wasn’t that. She wasn’t what we wanted. She wasn’t able to stop us from being afraid. He was. He was able to pat our heads and tell us Don’t you worry about those terrorists. Don’t you worry about those Mexicans. Don’t you worry about those men and women who aren’t like you. Don’t. You. Worry,

It’s getting late. Too late. Too late.

And that was what was wrong with her. Because he could assure them that all those people who were different would go away. That he would make them. The things that we were afraid of weren’t that simple. So it wasn’t simple to tell us that she could make them go away. She didn’t tell us that we wouldn’t be afraid to walk down the streets anymore. She didn’t tell us that we could cover our heads and hair and be seen as the same as everyone else. She can’t tell us that. We live in a world of fear and hate. We are swimming in it. Tonight was the night that we thought we would get a chance to breath again. Instead, we are drowning.

I am afraid. I am afraid. I am afraid.