The rusty subway car was half-empty. Leaning against the tightly closed door, I let my eyes move carelessly around, barely scanning the book in my hands. Just as I tore my eyes away from the book, the opposite subway car door opened and let in a crippled man. He was an ugly sight: uncombed hair, unwashed face, and his unusually dark hands stumbling with the bubble gums he had to sell. I shifted my gaze; I had no intention of opening my wallet for that crippled man.

“Please be kind and buy a pack of gum!” said the crippled man. Out of the corner of my eyes I saw him barley maintaining his balance. His crippled leg was the problem. A kind lady pulled out a wrinkled bill, her face showing little sympathy. I thought that the crippled man would move on to the next cart after having gone around. But he didn’t leave. He made another appeal to the passengers in our cart. He disgusted me, the abnormality, the ugliness, and the griminess in him.

As he neared me, the subway made a little jerk – the one that most people would endure by a step or two. But the crippled man lost his balance at that moment. He fell down, and where should he fall down but right in front of me. His gums scattered as well. Surprised by this sudden situation, I quickly stuck my nose into the boring book. I felt my cheeks redden as I did so; I wondered whether anyone was staring at me with a disgusted look. The man was on the floor, picking up the gums at my feet, and I was completely ignoring him. But it was just my nature. I didn’t want to stand out. Oh, why did the man have to fall right in front of me! It made me look immoral.

Or perhaps I was immoral. When open to the eyes of acquaintance, perhaps I would’ve gone down to the floor to help the crippled man. But amidst the eyes of people I didn’t know – and would never see again, my heart was blank. It told me nothing. People say that our identity doesn’t actually come from our “soul”. The concept of soul may not even exist. All our thoughts and feelings come from the brain. My heart is passionate, beating quickly. My brain is calculative. But is there anyone on earth whose heart and brain are not?

Warm-hearted. But cool-headed.