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Love Nightmares
All I wanted growing up was a loving girlfriend. My worst fear though was having my heart broken. I just wanted to be loved forever. I knew I had problems. I knew life would never be perfect. But, love is a nightmare.
My life has never been perfect. No one's life is. But, as I grew up my life only got worse. I was bullied constantly and still am. Thanks to all of the people who didn't want me to be happy my self-esteem is virtually nothing. I never thought that I coul ever find true love. I felt unlovable.
My worst nightmare was to have my heart broken. Then, at 13, the nightmare started. I saw her. The party was the first time I had a real conversation with her. I felt it, the spark, a connection. I had to be with her. After the party we started talking a lot. She was the one.
We talked for awhile. Then, the time came. I asked her to be my girlfriend and she said yes! For the first time I felt true happiness. I felt true love. How could someone love me? It still felt impossible.
As time went on things got worse. We fought constantly. I felt it slipping. I knew it was going to end. I fought to keep her to my last inch of sanity. Then, after a year, my nightmare came true. My heart shattered when I heard the words. I lost her. I never thought I could actually be loved. I gave up on love. I realozed that love was a facade. Love is happiness. Love is sadness. Love is anger. Love is butterflies in your stomach. Love is stomach aches. Love is pain. Love is a nightmare.

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