Stubborn Me | Teen Ink

Stubborn Me

July 26, 2014
By EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.


Everyone keeps saying I'm talented, and I know that's a good thing. Then how come I have such a hard time believing it?

That I'm a good friend? That I'm special? That I'm strong and brave? And all the good things about me? How come it's so hard for me, to process that?

I'll agree with that I'm weird. That I'm different. That I'm not like anyone else. That I stand out. I agree with all that.

If I agree with that, why is it so hard to believe the good things about me?

When I was younger, I used to hit myself on the head and beat my head on the wall, sometimes to make my sibling laugh. But when I did that, I thought to myself, "You deserve this. You're no-one."

I also used to look at the mirror and say to myself, "You're ok or alright. You'll pass, but you're not beautiful. You're not talented, you're boring."

When I got older, becoming a teen-age, I started thinking that. . .maybe I should do something more than just hit my head and beating myself up verbally. . .that maybe I should start cutting myself or something.

To me it felt like I couldn't feel anything, but this darkness in me.

The thoughts of cutting myself, turned into much much darker, deep thoughts. The thoughts of suicide.

I thought that since I wasn't important, I wouldn't be noticed. That I could just end this all. That I could stop hurting the people I love. I wouldn't be a burden on anyone anymore. I almost did it.

But someone stopped me. My God stopped me, and I'm glad He did. He knew what He was doing, and I didn't.

Then I started to see what others saw. That for one, I'm not a boring person. We live in a chaotic world, so how can boring even exist? Second, that I'm more than okay.

I started seeing that I do matter. That I make a impact, maybe not a big one. Maybe just a small one, but an impact nonetheless.

But it's still hard for me to get that I'm more than a okay person. I'm still having a hard time getting it through stubborn me.

But I am beautiful. I matter. So are you and so do you. You are wonderful and you do matter.


The author's comments:
Everything I've written is true. What I hope is that people will see that they are a treasure. You are a treasure. You matter. I matter. There's a reason why you and I are here. We both are wonderful and we both matter.

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This article has 5 comments.


on Sep. 5 2014 at 10:06 am
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

Thank you! Your comment means a lot, to me. Thank you so much, again.  You've encouraged me. 

on Sep. 4 2014 at 2:04 pm
Cassie_Monroe BRONZE, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
3 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I am trying to find myself. Sometimes that's not easy."
-Marilyn Monroe

"Fear is stupid; So are regrets"
-Marilyn Monroe

"It's better to be unhappy alone than unhappy with someone - so far."
-Marilyn Monroe

You are talented! Don't let anyone tell you different. Your way of writing gives off a good vibe. You make beautiful words. Keep up the vibe 

on Aug. 9 2014 at 5:54 pm
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

Thank you so much. Thank you. It should be me thanking you for reading my personal experience and commenting on it. Your comment means so much. I love you too, and God bless you too! 

on Aug. 8 2014 at 9:01 pm
violawritermady BRONZE, Lehi, Utah
3 articles 0 photos 14 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The true artist does not create art as an end to himself. He creates it for others; humanity is the goal." -Bronislaw Huberman

Thank you for sharing this. It IS some of the best writing ever. You are amazing. You are a modern-day Emily Dickonson. I love you and your writing. God bless! 

on Jul. 28 2014 at 4:44 pm
EmilytheBelleofA. DIAMOND, Athens, Georgia
81 articles 5 photos 1486 comments

Favorite Quote:
To love is to be vulnerable; Triumph is born out of struggle; We notice shadows most when they stand alone in the midst of overwhelming light.

I know it's not the best writing ever, but all I hope is that people will understand that they matter and that I'm being honest. Thanks for reading this, and please tell me what you honestly think about it. :D thank ya'll, so much.