"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?"
- Marianne Williamson

Ebstein’s anomaly is a chronic heart defect that delays the amount of oxygen sent to the heart in order to proceed in average functions. Its functions are all too familiar with me because Ebstein’s anomaly has stifled my ability to function in everyday life. As a victim of this, I have found that those two words gained their own definition in my vocabulary: idiosyncratic, which is also known as weird. Due to this peculiarity, I am unable to present myself to any physically strenuous activity—the only positive is that I am excused from any school physical education classes. Although many of my classmates envied me as I sat in the cool shade, free of Miami’s scorching sun, I secretly envied them. I yearned to be “normal” and loathed them for their perfect hearts, always viewing my condition as social suicide. Longingly I’d watch them throw basketballs, kick soccer balls, run freely for as long as the class period would allow them. I wasn’t able to run- when I’d feel daring I would ignore my doctor’s orders, but my chest would constrict painfully and my breaths would come out in quick gasps. Embarrassment is a loose term to describe my elementary and middle school years. However, with maturity and my entrance into high school, my perspective of myself would change drastically.

The quote I’d stated earlier is my mantra. It has formulated me into the strong, independent woman I have become. For years, I wondered, “Why me? Why do I have to be different?” Quite frankly, I hated being different; I loathed the teasing—the awkward glances. My physical education classes brought me shame. But through all my difficulties, I conjured strength and with it arose another question: why was I so terrified of being different? I tried so hard to be “normal” but when I attempted to define the term, I found that I couldn’t find a universal definition. I knew I shouldn’t strive for something that didn’t exist and I have found no reason to please anyone but myself. With that came the new and improved me. I have found confidence in my anomaly. I may not be an exceptional runner, nor may I be coordinated enough to play soccer, but I am able to shine academically. I found joy in being a leader. I found joy in learning new things. I found joy in being “different”—being I.

Until I started realizing my true self-worth, the quote at the top was hollow; it was an organization of syllables put together to make people think. Reading the quote, I realize perhaps I wasn’t scared of being different but instead, I was scared that I would be great at being different. Ebstein’s anomaly, which was previously defined to me as “weird”, is now defined to me as “impactful”.