1. Over winter break my parents fill out scholarship forms that have about a million random questions, some of which they answer themselves and some of which they ask me. The questions range from "Are you against the death penalty? to are you over four feet tall?"

The questions continue until my dad causally throws in Are you gay? It was an actual question from the list he was reading from. I don't know how to answer and fumble for words. What I think "is I don't think so…I mean I don't really know. I've never kissed a guy…or a girl for that matter… so how would I know?" What I say is "N-no. I mean definitely not." Probably the least reassuring thing I can tell them, but they catch me off guard and I was so not ready for that question.

Later that day, which happens to be New Year's Eve, my parents make a comment about how this is probably going to be the last New Year's with just us. They say "Hopefully we will have BOYFRIENDS next year joining us." Specific emphasis on the word "boyfriends." I think "What?! So I haven't had a boyfriend yet…why is this suddenly such a huge deal?" I say "yeah … maybe."

2. Two days later I'm in my bedroom listening to Same Love by Macklemore, a rap song mainly about gay rights. A song with lyrics like And I can't change, even if I tried and "Man, that's so gay" gets dropped on the daily, when my mom conveniently walks in, says "What are you listening to? What kind of music is this?!" I think "You've got to be kidding me…" I say "Just a song…" but I completely avoid her gaze, afraid of what I think is coming…but it doesn't come.

I know for a fact that my dad knows about that song, because I've listened to it in the car with him. We think it has a good message. For whatever reason my mom is not on the same page. I don’t know exactly what she's thinking, but I can imagine what she's thinking, and it just makes me plain uncomfortable.

3. I go shopping with my grandma, my sister, and my mom, for my birthday. It's sort of a tradition that my grandma has, taking us shopping for our birthdays. We spend the entire day shopping in a mall in Massachusetts, taking a break only for a quick lunch at the 99 restaurant at the mall.

Somehow, while we were waiting for our food to come, the conversation switches to gay people. Maybe it is because there were two separate families who walked into the restaurant who looked like they could have been gay, either two men and some kids, or more commonly two ladies and some kids.

My grandma is not discreet with what she says, and never has been. Usually she is pretty loud too when she says things in public places, such as "I'm so happy none of you are gay," in response to watching two guys hold hands as they walk by the windows on the restaurant. "Not that I would mind if you were gay, I mean I'd still love you, it's just that I'd be disappointed if you were." I think "Ok . . . so again with this whole gay thing." I say nothing. But then again, what is there to say?

4. When I get the chance, unfortunately three days later, I do the only think I can think of doing. Text the only person who could help me: Caroline. I've known her since kindergarten and we've been friends for a long time. She knows me pretty well. I start off the text by texting her a frowny-face emoticon. She texts back "Well shopping couldn't have been that traumatic." I text her, "Not that… that was fine…." She texts back "So what then?" I text back "I have multiple family members who think I'm gay."

This one takes her a long time to respond back, but finally she texts "Well my mom asks me that all the time." And then in another text bubble "but any reason why they ask?" And I think "…The Macklemore song; the no boyfriend yet; the fact that I play softball, a "lesbian" sport…but other than that no" What I text is "No."

But all the while I have running through my head a recap of a sex/gender talk that we had just listened to during announcements earlier that day. I text her But you and Kristen smell amazing… and she texts back "I love you no matter what and I'm always gonna be here for u." As I'm thinking "I have the best friend in the world", I text her a red heart emoticon.