Well we always knew this day would come. It was the time when we would be forced to say goodbye for the next four months. In my head I knew it would certainly be more like a lifetime. I had this pain I had never felt before when he said that one little word, “bye” which sent tears immediately streaming down my face. I couldn’t believe I was finally that girl, the “army girlfriend.” The girl that would have to walk down the halls and see all the other couples being together and happy with each other and realize I would have to wait many more months to be that way again.

Ever since August, 5 all I had to rely on were the letters. There was no better feeling than getting that first letter. I lived to get home every day and rush to the mailbox to see those hand written notes from my boy. It honestly felt like getting to open presents on Christmas morning. I would make sure I used up all my free time to write him back. It didn’t matter if I was just at home or even in class. It was all I cared about. I remember I got butterflies the first time I got a phone call from him and thought to myself “Is this real life?” just hearing his sweet voice again for the first time made me feel like I was on cloud nine. I noticed how much I took for granted getting to see him every other day or a text message or even our phone calls every night, when all of it was taken away from me.

When he left for the army I lost my boyfriend but she lost her son. He was her pride and joy, her everything. He didn’t only vanish from my life but hers as well. I was so happy that I was close to her because it made me feel like a part of him was still with me. Whenever I was down about him all I had to do was call or text her and she was there, always willing to listen and give me advice. Having his mom there all of the time made his absence more bearable.

I guess it’s the constant not knowing that really gets to you. You have letters and occasional phone calls but that’s it. You never know what that person is thinking on a daily basis. You could be thinking everything is great and perfect but they could be thinking the complete opposite. Honestly the time apart just didn’t work in our favor. I thought we would return to our normal relationship when he got back from basic training but that isn’t the case now. I guess I know now that I should’ve known it wouldn’t work out. You can’t always go such a long time without seeing your significant other. The lucky ones can make it through army relationships, but that just wasn’t in the cards for me.