Beginning my journey into her world, I was somewhat unsure of how I was feeling. I didn't know if what was happening was "the real deal". I couldn't see myself being in a committed and long lasting relationship with this girl, but I didn't want to hurt her. One evening in her cozy bedroom, she kissed me and said she could be falling in love with me. I felt like running scared, but I realized I was bullshitting myself. Today, an eerie feeling creeped upon me, a feeling I've only felt with him. Hovering over my girl in her bed, I couldn't help but hug her to death. I wanted to hold on tight, and I had no intentions of letting go. I also realized I could see myself committing to her, growing old with her. I can see it.

"Summertime Sadness", by Lana Del Rey…. It reminds me of her. I could play it over and over again, imagining the magical moments we've shared in my head. I miss her so much right now that I could cry. When she disappears, I can't help but sit and wonder when she'll be in my presence again. People may think I'm crazy. Sure we've known each other since April of 2013, but we haven't been friends for too long. Everything just seems to fit when I'm with her though. The setting couldn't be more perfect, and I can't help but flaunt and show her off to the public when I have the chance.

It's funny…. If I had a penny for every time I've heard her putting herself down, I'd be a millionaire. When she looks into a mirror, she sees a fat, ugly girl who envies every model/actress/singer on t.v. She's constantly changing her outfit so she looks skinnier, and she won't allow me to see her without makeup on. When I look at her, especially when I look into her eyes, I see the most beautiful, kind and caring, cuddly girl with a gorgeous smile. I could look into her eyes all day, no problem. She definitely doesn't see what I see.

It kills me to see the faces of some people when we squander out in public together. People look at us like we are a public disturbance, but what I see is two people who care deeply about each other and want to spend every bit of time they have together. This girl understands me, she keeps me warm at night, she puts a smile on my face, she takes away my insecurities, she loves me. I don't want to leave her. Oh deal lord I don't want to leave her.

My baby girl says she fears the future she'll have. I'd give up everything to keep her happy and healthy. Is that terrible? I can't help it if I want the best for her. I've already made it clear that she's my baby girl. I may be leaving her soon, but I won't really be gone. I'll be close BY. nothing will change, with the exception of the distance physically separating us. Just because I'm leaving, it doesn't mean I'm never coming back. I'll reunite with her once again, and we'll be inseparable. Relationship or no relationship…. She'll always be my beauty queen, and I'll be her hero. I do believe in love at first sight. The only two people I've ever been in love with have shown me that love at first sight exists, and I'll always have a special place in my heart for each individual.

I'm in love with a girl, and I don't care what anybody has to say about it. She gives me that special, indescribable feeling, and I can't help but try to spend every moment comforting her, caring for her and loving her. What else do you call it? It's a little thing called love. Who am I to know though? I'm young and ignorant. I don't know anything. All I know is that when she's with me, the stress dissolves. All worry disappears, and she's the one to blame. I forget about the awful world we're living in, and I sense that everything's going to be okay in the end.