It's nothing but utter silence. All my family and friends surrounding me but for once with no smiles. Just a look I can't even describe. Is it disgust? Discomfort? Sadness? Madness? It's nothing but a big question running through my head that I fiend to answer. Oh I get it now, we're just at church, its known to be quiet. Since when do I go to church? Why is there flowers? Why is everyone in black? Why do everyone's eyes look as if crying? What did I miss? Oh, there you are grandma, why are you laying in that bed? ...Can you hear me? I began to shout, "Grandma! Grandma answer me!" I look up to see everyone mourn, holding one another as I shake her. I place my hand right into hers as she would always do while pulling me in for a kiss, its cold. A chill nearly ran throughout my body, up to my head forcing a deep heaviness within my eyes. I glance to my father wishing for strength, afterall he is one of the strongest men I know. I glance to see tear drops fall right off his face, undiscovered until they fall past his dark sunglasses. My cheeks are full of uncontrollable tears, I am drowning in despair as I look upon my dearest grandma. I'm there still questioning how I got there. Why is this happening? I'm 10 years old, I just had ice cream for my best friend's birthday at recess. I just visited you grandma in the hospital where I wished nothing more but for you to be back at home so you can give us a handful of sugars like always. What did I do? I'm only 10. All I hear is utter silence.

A year passes, and I'm asking myself this question three more times in one year. Three more relatives just gone forever. I know I'm a year older, but what did I do? Nothing but utter silence, with my question still unanswered.