Dear Gap,

Back again, I see. This is the third time, now? Yes, that’s right, the third time. Closed up twice, but back again each time. Apparently a little metal and rubber can’t stop you from lodging yourself between my two front teeth. I just thought I’d write to you to say, “Welcome back.” Again.

You see, however, this isn’t a “Welcome back” letter. This is a “Welcome back, please leave and stay away” letter. I believe that it is in our best interest that you close up, permanently this time. It’s understandable that you may find it uncomfortable in that tiny space, but I assure you, you’ll adjust in no time. And let’s face it; you could lose a couple pounds.

It’s not that I don’t like you. I do, really, truly, genuinely like you. You’re kind of cute, actually. If I were, perhaps, seven years old. Not that you’re not cute now; in fact, it brings back childhood memories. It’s just that I’m a big girl now, and it’s time I left you behind. I’ve outgrown you, and I’m one year away from getting my big girl teeth. I wish it wouldn’t have to end this way, but this is how things should be. If you’d like to stay in my mouth, maybe you can take a spot near my molars, or some other less- visible place. Thanks for hearing me out, I very much appreciate it.

Farewell (hopefully),


Megan <3