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Trust is something that is not easy to gain back. Especially after your friend has stabbed you in the back and your boyfriend had something to do with it.
I started hanging around with Beatrice for a while. I thought she was a very good friend that I had. I would tell her all the problems I was having at home and at school, but mostly what I was going through with my boyfriend, Luis. She would always give me advice on everything, just like a good friend would do. Well at least that is what I thought she was…my friend, but I never imagined that she was going to do something that would ruin the good friendship that we had, forever.
I started hearing people say that my boyfriend was cheating on me. I did not want to believe them, however I knew I had to ask him and find out the truth. "What was he going to say? I did not know if it was true or just gossip. I did not even now what to believe anymore because I knew that people were already trying to make us brake up. What if it was another one of their lies, but what if it was true?"
"Why do they keep saying that you were cheating on me?" I asked.
"Who are they?"
"Just people that keep telling me that you have been cheating on me for ever and that I don't even know it."
"Are you going to start again with believing everyone else but me? You know that these people are just trying to get us to break up. I don't know why they have to put these kinds of things in your head."
I could see it in his eyes how angry he was getting because I did not want to believe him. It seemed as if he was going to hurt me. He was clenching up his knuckles and all of a sudden, he punched his truck door.
I was so terrified to see him this angry. I knew it wasn't my fault but I felt as if it was. Maybe if I hadn't asked him and just left it alone we wouldn't have been arguing. I felt so sad to see him like this but I had to know the truth. I didn't get much out of this just to see each other screaming back and forth. Hearing him say that I didn't trust him and me yelling back that how could I trust him after what people were saying was really anoying and sad at the same time for the fact that we didn't have any trust in each other.
After that big argument that we had, we ended breaking up. After that, I started seeing him with different girls everyday. That made me mad and sad at the same time. I started thinking that all those times he had told me he loved me were a bunch of bull. How could somebody love someone and all of a sudden change his or her feelings over night. I could not believe he had not been single at least 24 hours and he was already messing around with other girls. In a way, it hurt me to see him with all these girls, but I knew he was doing it to make me mad and to prove to me that he could get whatever type of girl he wanted. But, hey, I had Beatrice there telling me to move on, that he was not worth all this crying I was doing for him. She would try to cheer me up by getting me to go out to dances or quinceaneras. I wasn't much interested in doing all of that. One because I wasn't in the mood to go party and second because I knew if I went out I would probably see him up there and that is what I didn't want. At that moment, I felt lucky to have Beatrice there by my side to help me get through all of this. Which it was not that easy to get over him.
I was very wrong in trusting her and confiding in her with my stuff. I never imagined she would ever do anything to hurt me. She was my friend and friends were not supposed to mess around with your boyfriend or in my case, my ex-boyfriend.
When I found out that Beatrice had messed around with him, I was so mad. I thought she was the worst person there could possibly be. I never knew she was that type of person, but I was wrong.
"What was she thinking in messing around with him? Did I ever do anything to hurt her? Is that why she was doing this? I knew that was not the thing because I had never done anything to hurt her. Besides, she was wrong in doing this no matter the reason she had.
"Why did you mess around with Luis? I thought you were my friend," I said.
"What are you talking about? I never messed around with him. I would never do that to you and you know it. Who told you this lie?"
"Don't worry about who told me. That was wrong what you did to me and you know it."
"Why did she have the nerve to lie to me? If she was able to mess around with him why was she not able to tell me the truth? Who was she? I did not even recognize her anymore. All I could think was that she was a back stabbing so called friend." She was such a hypocrite.
What made me get even madder is that she would always be talking smack on her friend's on how they had messed around with her exes, but there she was doing the same to me.
It was very hard for me to forgive Luis for the pain that he caused me, but I love him so much that I was willing to give him a second chance. As for Beatrice, that is a different story. I have learned that friends are not always so trustworthy so you have to see what kind of friends you have, but just because of one person's mistakes doesn't mean that I'm not going to trust all of my other friends. I just made a bad mistake in trusting her and it will never happen again. I will never be able to forgive her no matter what.
Park City, Utah
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