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A Mystical Experience
My mystical experience happened over a course of four years. I never thought I could love someone so much, care for one person so much, and be so connected to one person.
When I was eleven years old, I wanted a puppy so badly. I was just a pre-teen who wanted a pet. After school, one day, I went with my dad to a dog breeder’s house. When I got there, a huge litter of puppies was there to greet me. There were two left to choose from-Mr. Green and Mr. Blue. Mr. Green was more aggressive and bigger than Mr. Blue. Mr. Blue was sweeter, the runt of the litter. I chose Mr. Blue. I’m part Irish, and wanted to name my dog, Connor, “a good Irish name” an Irish woman once told me.
At that time, I loved my parents and friends, of course. But, there was something different, stronger with Connor. I don’t remember how it happened or exactly when, but I fell in love with him. I worried about him everyday. If I found out he got out of the house, it was the worst feeling in the world. I just couldn’t lose him. I know he was an animal and I was young, but he became my everything; he became my son.
After school, I would come home and Connor would be there to greet me. It was always the best part of my day when I would see the happiness on his face because I was home. Connor would jump up on me and kiss me. He would try to crawl into my lap, even though he eventually got too big to fit in my lap.
I can remember now laying on the carpet by his side. I would rub his cute, tiny belly and together we would embrace in the silence. The simplest moments like those were one of the most beautiful experiences I ever had. I have been to places like Italy and Hawaii. I have seen a baby bear and held a friend’s hand. But nothing could ever be more wonderful than being next to him, watching him fall asleep.
And he was beautiful too. And I am not just saying that. People would always walk up to me, admiring him. He had the most gorgeous golden, reddish brown coat. His belly was softer than silk and even his little paws were adorable. He had hazel green eyes with golden flecks in them, although, pictures of him show his eyes as a shiny, ocean-like blue.
Connor and I were so protective of each other. I would let no one hurt him and he would not let anyone near his mama. We couldn’t be separated from each other either. When my family and I would go on vacation, Connor would stay in a kennel. He was loved there by everyone because he was such a sweetheart, but he would be melancholy without his family. And if I spent the night at a friend’s house, my parents would say he was more mellow than usual because I was not with him.
There was a child inside of me when I was with him. He wanted me to run around the yard and play with him. And even though I became a teenager, there was still that child-like vitality with me when I would play with him.
Now, I know most dogs only live to be about twelve years old so he would die before me, but I prayed that he would live forever. I couldn’t imagine my life without him. Connor was my world. I would do anything for him, he was my everything. He was
my number one love and I just could not lose him. But, in February of last year, he was diagnosed with cancer. He was four years old. The veterinarian said he had three to six months to live, maybe a year. I begged for a miracle that he would survive this cancer, that he would not die. But instead, I watched him groan and blood would come out of him. I watched as he got weaker and skinnier. On April 25, not even three months later, I came home and laid next to him, like I always loved to do. I put my arm around him and we fell asleep. When my dad woke me up, he told me Connor had just died. Now, people say we all end up dying alone. But Connor didn’t die alone, I was right there by his side when he left Earth.
Someone once told me about how some people that you have such a strong connection with in this life, you could have been with in another life. I believe this is true for Connor and me. In four years, I developed one of the strongest connections I may ever have. Losing him did leave me in darkness and the only thing I know now is that one day I will be with him. Because Connor and I are connected and I know that nothing could ever separate us.