“There is a place she calls the Darkness. It is hidden. Deep in her mind. In there she is hollow, safe. I watch her as she slips inside again.”


She is my best friend, and I love her with everything I am. But I am helpless as I watch her die. A little more everyday, I watch her waste away. Convinced of her inadequacy, she works to achieve a perfection that is unachievable. Denying herself those things that are necessary, she cries out in pain. But then, one day, there is no more pain. She is numb, and the hollowness feels like home. She loses the disguise, and everyone can see how hurt she is. But no one dares to enter the Darkness.

Except me.

I enter, with that white flag of peace. But she doesn’t understand. She fights back, tears in her eyes. She asks me “Why?” “Don’t you love me?” she asks. Guilt overwhelms me and I surrender. I too fall under the seductive persuasion of the Darkness. Little imps whisper sweet nothings in my ear. I grow to depend on the pain. Those perfect little crimson ribbons, the sweet liquor making my head spun. I am not afraid, because I am nothing. No one can hurt me, because I am not really there.

Me and her. That is all we think we will ever need. Sapphic love starts to bloom. But we hide it. “No one must know.”, she whispers frantically. I am sad and protest, but she kisses me quiet. And so, we go on, until one day, something changes. Light has entered the Darkness, and we are afraid.


Sensing our fear, the new Light backs off. But everyday, she returns, inching closer and closer. The Light makes promises, and soon I am hooked. I start to leave the Darkness, slowly forgetting the love me and her shared. She cries out for me: “ Am I not enough? Do I not make you happy anymore? Don’t you love me?” “ I do love you.” I want to say. My heart longs for her. But my brain tells me to lie. I say: “I want to, but I can’t anymore. I want to leave the Darkness. I want to get better.” She just looks at me, and I hear my world shatter around me. She runs from me, I try to follow, but the Light wont let me. In those dark mazes, I lose her.

I lie on the ground, my heaving sobs the only sound. But soon, those sobs are gone, and the taunting comes. Dark demons tell me that she is gone. She is dead. And I am to blame. Distressed, I continue my search. I run and run, screaming her name until my throat is raw. And then, I find her.

There. On the ground. Lies the girl that I loved. Her skin is pale and cold. I kiss her lips. They are ice. Picking up the bottle that she is clutching in her hand, I sit there. Rocking back and forth, sobbing again. My sobbing soon becomes wailing. And then my sounds are not human. Eventually I fall asleep, holding her in my arms.


Sirens wail in the distance. I can feel the Darkness failing. The light takes over. I feel their arms around me, pulling me and her apart. I give up without a fight. My hope is gone and the Light speaks to me in words that I don’t hear. I fall into myself, I fight the Darkness. And then I am Awake.