The first art to grab my attention at the Nemeth Art Museum in Park Rapids, is a collection by Paula McCartney. Immediately, one titled Ice Cone #1 draws me in. When I first look at this photograph, I see an icicle. Five different pieces hang off the top of the painting. The background is as dark as a moonless night. A mix of bright white and gray color the icicle. It’s like trying to see myself through a foggy mirror. The icicle may seem like a simple object at first. Just a piece of ice pointed toward the ground. To give the object such little meaning though, is like saying the sun is only a burning ball of fire. Reminders of winter instantly flood my mind. Cold, snowy, and what sometimes seems lifeless.

I’m transported into a cold winter day. One of those days where you walk outside and lose your breath. It smells crisp, fresh, and cold. My nose and cheeks grow a deeper red every minute I stand outside. The snow around me covers the tree branches, even the ones that seem to touch the sky. Snow falls lightly from the sky. A light dusting of white that adds to the piles on the ground. I stick my tongue out and catch a small snowflake. It melts providing a cool and refreshing sensation. It’s a gloomy day. The sky the color of an elephant’s skin. Some spots darker than others, but gray nonetheless. Sudden gusts of wind hit me like waves crashing into the shore.

As I look to my left, I see an icicle hanging from the corner of my house. My attention is quickly drawn away from the rest of the winter scene as it lures me in. As I walk toward it, snow crunches under my boots, leaving footprints. No matter what direction I was to walk, I would leave them. A sign showing there will always be something, no matter how small, left behind by me when I leave.

I look up at the icicle that’s now right in front of me. I take off my glove from my right hand and slowly reach up to touch it. My fingers are instantly cold the moment they make contact. It’s rigid in most spots with a really thin point.

The closer I look at the icicle, the more complex it seems. From afar, it was seemingly simple, just a chunk of frozen ice. Now, I realize it’s extraordinarily complex. It’s cloudy in some spots, blocking through to the other side. There are parts of the icicle that have been there for a long time. These have helped to form and shape it. I see newly frozen water droplets adding on to the rest of the icicle. These new droplets start to shape the icicle differently; expanding and changing the direction of it. I think the icicle represents my future. From afar, it’s easy to see; graduate from high school, go to college, find a job. When I look harder into my future, it becomes more unclear. Will I get accepted into the University of North Carolina? Will I enjoy the psychology field? What new relationships will form and where will they bring me? Only time will reveal these unknown questions. The oldest parts of the icicle represent my family and friends, who have helped form my future. It could not grow without them, like a garden cannot grow without being tended to. The newly frozen droplets are like the new opportunities that will appear in my life. They give me more options for my future and expand my knowledge of the world. With time, the icicle will melt. It will grow smaller and smaller until one day, it’s gone. As it melts away, time goes by. The more time that passes by, the clearer my future becomes. Each drop of water falling from the icicle is a decision I made or an opportunity I took that leads me to my future.

I look around and see my footprints in the snow. Although I don’t always think about it, I always leave something behind no matter where I go. I’ve been so many places and met so many people, leaving pieces of me with them. I want to say I leave nothing but good things behind, but that would be a lie. I know I also leave pieces that aren’t my proudest moments. Maybe that isn’t a bad thing though. Maybe these pieces, good or bad, help others grow. Maybe they show them new thoughts and ideas, changing their footprints.

I’m suddenly drawn out of my thoughts and back in the room standing in front of the photograph. I wonder what the photographer saw that made her choose this icicle. Surely, there had to be other icicles around. What stuck out to her about this one? Did it transport her into a deep thought as it did me? Or was there something else she saw about it? Did she black out the background to make the observer focus in on the icicle or to give them more options as to what the icicle meant?

Thomas Merton said, “Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time.” I’ve never truly understood what he meant by that, but I understand better now. This photo gave me new perspectives on my life. I see what has helped build my future but still wonder what my future holds. I realize what I leave behind helps others grow and find their future. I found myself in this photo while at the same time losing myself.