Over the years, I’ve written a lot of New Year’s Resolutions.  And I’ve noticed there’re always two things common among all the lists. One, I always have Learn ten new words of another language every day. Two: the above resolution has never been fulfilled in any year, and neither have quite a few others.

Every year, on the morning of January 1st,  I write down New Year’s Resolutions.   You wouldn’t believe how much effort I put into the task. I write them out on paper- but it’s not ordinary , lined notebook paper. It has got to be a crisp, prettily patterned square of stationery ; one I can cherish and stick in my diary and sigh over and pat myself on the back about. My resolutions will undoubtedly fill three pages, because I feel at least 50% more optimistic at the beginning of the year. In a way, all of us do. I am filled with positivity. I draw nice little blank boxes beside each goal, which I can tick off with satisfaction a year later.  I think, Yes, this is the year I will FINALLY learn how to do the splits! Or Get an A in Physics! . And then I carefully file the list away somewhere.

I came across my 2017 list recently, during an impromptu Christmas cleaning session.  In keeping with tradition, it was written on a very nice sheet of paper, decorated with hearts. As always , the foreign vocab  goal topped it. There were a few goals that had me puzzled- Learn to bake wheat flour cakes was one. Wheat flour cakes? I had had no idea my 13-year old self was so into healthy eating.  And something about being more helpful. I was pleased to note that I’d sort of accomplished that one. Like most teenagers, I hadn’t been Miss Goody-Two –Shoes , but I’d helped out with the cleaning, and dish-washing. Occasionally , that is.

But what struck me the most was how optimistic I’d seemed. I’d written a lot of things. I hadn’t done a lot of things. Most of the square boxes were stark white, free  from a triumphant tick of satisfaction.  And yet, every year… it didn’t stop me from making an even longer list.

I wish I could channel that New-Year optimism every single day . That feeling – the hope that this year will go down as one of the best in your whole life- and the determination to make it one that will. That champagne-esque  fizz you get in your stomach when the last second has ticked away, and the T.V screen explodes into fireworks.

 I want to channel that New Year’s optimism every single day. I made up my mind on that as I held the 2017 list in one hand, and the diary I ‘d found it in clasped in the other.

I put them down, and went to my desk. I took out a sheet of blank blue paper, and I began to write.

1. Learn one new word today….Yes, you can do it, it’s only one….