I can’t lie and say that it has been easy watching Annette be a parent. After all, she is only sixteen, and my twin. Her eyes are always bloodshot and the skin beneath them have turned into dark tiresome rings. She sways back and forth even when she’s not holding her son. She’s lost a lot of weight from having few moments to eat between homework and the baby. She can’t even focus while doing school work because of how much she worries about Billy, her newborn, even though I swear to her that I have everything under control. Then she’d say to me, “You’re a guy, Caleb. You don’t have that motherly instinct.” I don’t know much about motherly instinct, but I know I can watch Billy for a few hours while she sits down with her tutor.
Annette’s friends like to come over a lot to see Billy. They like to feed him and tickle him and play with his itty-bitty socks. But the moment he begins to cry or pout, they all scatter like a police car just pulled up to one of their keg parties. Babies are all fun and games until the responsibility kicks in. No one has ever offered to help Annette with Billy besides me. Not even our mother.
Mom blames herself. She thought that it was all her fault that Annette got pregnant. She thought that she was too busy for us so Annette got attention someplace else. But that was then, when we first found out. Now, Mom avoids us more than ever. She works later than she needs to. She makes more plans with her friends than with us. Sometimes instead of coming home she goes to the bars. She never wants to come home. She doesn’t want to see Billy. She doesn’t want to see Annette struggling as a teen mom. She doesn’t want to see how she failed as a parent. But she’s done all she can as a single parent. Our dad died when we were two. She never had anyone to help take care of me and Annette. I guess that’s the only way she knows. At least Annette has Billy’s dad.
Annette’s boyfriend is a real good guy, even I know that. He and I are friends, that’s how he met Annette. He and I play baseball together. I know that I’m the brother and I should want to kick the ass of the guy who knocked up my sister, but he’s too nice to hate. It’s not like I’m thrilled that he got my sister pregnant or anything. His name is Dale English and when he found out that Annette was going to have a baby, he was everything but afraid. He knew that they were young and that it would be tough to be parents in high school, but he was still excited. He even came to our house and apologized to our mother. Dale can be pretty funny, even though he doesn’t try to be. I’m just glad that he has the decency to come over once in a while to relieve Annette from the baby. But even with my help and Dale’s help, Annette is still adjusting. Before Billy was born, she played tennis. She was really good, too. Now, I don’t know if she’ll ever return to the court. Annette just isn’t the sister that I use to know.
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I woke up to Billy’s wailing at two in the morning and decided to get up before Annette. I knocked a few times on her door as I walked by – I always did that when I was taking care of Billy to let her know she didn’t have to get out of bed. I lifted Billy out of his dark wooden crib and brought him downstairs. I sat down on the sectional in the living room and fed Billy his bottle. He looks so much like me, I thought. But I guess others would say that he looks like Annette. The only thing that made Billy resemble Dale was that they both had the same distinct birthmark on their neck. It looks a little like a shoe.  
While Billy was drinking his bottle Dale came downstairs. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands and smoothed back his hair. I didn’t even know that he had spent the night.
“I got him,” Dale whispered tiredly to me as he held out his arms. I gently placed Billy in Dale’s hands. He was only my nephew, but it was hard handing him off to someone else. I guess I know why Annette can never concentrate without her son.
“I didn’t see you come in last night,” I said.
“All three of you were out when I got here. I figured that I shouldn’t wake Annette. I can just surprise her when she wakes up.” Dale looked down at Billy and smiled. He loved that kid wore than anything. That’s something that always reassured me that he would stick around. I grew up without a father, I would never want Billy to.
“That’ll be nice for her. She’s been so stressed lately.”
“When is she not stressed? I wish I could be here more often, but I have school and work and it just makes it hard to find the time.”
“Maybe you should move in.” I’ve been known to be a bit impetuous.
Dale responded with, “I would love more than anything to live here with my family.” I never thought about Dale and Annette and the baby as a family before. “But I don’t know how my parents would feel about that. I don’t know how your mom would feel about that.”
“You know she’s never here, man. She won’t even notice.” Dale just stared at me. “Look, Dale, I’m not trying to pressure you into anything, I should’ve just kept my mouth shut. But Annette is here by herself all day long except for when her tutor is here, and it’s not like that guy helps out or anything. Then as soon as I get home, Annette takes a nap and I have to look after Billy. I don’t mind watching him but I still have homework to do myself. I just think that life for everyone would be a little bit easier if you were here more. Just think about it, that’s all.”
Looking down at Billy, Dale said, “Sure. I’ll think about it.”
I knew that it wasn’t my place to bring up something like that to Dale. I couldn’t imagine living with a brand new family at sixteen. But it sure would take some of the load off of Annette and help Billy to grow up in a somewhat normal household. Annette and I sure didn’t.
Billy stopped drinking from his bottle and fell back asleep. Dale brought him back to his crib and went to bed in Annette’s room. I stayed downstairs for a while. I was too tired to move my legs up the stairs. I pulled my knees up to my chest on the couch and rested my head on one of the throw pillows. I was so tired, but I didn’t want to go back to sleep. I knew the baby would be up again in another hour. He has the same schedule every night. I hate waking back up after a short sleep. I rather just force my eyes to stay open. I was thinking of something that would help keep me up when the front door creaked open.
I shot up from the couch and walked swiftly to the door. I grabbed it, preventing it from opening any further. It was opening too fast, too loud. Billy would’ve woken up. It would throw off the whole schedule. I peered through the crack of the door. My mother was standing there, doing the same as I. I opened the door further but slower than before. It was almost silent. When the door was fully opened, Mom just stared at me. Her face was hard and mean. She’d been drinking, no doubt. She walked past me, bumping my shoulder on the way. She fell sideways onto the couch and dropped her purse on the floor. I hadn’t seen her this blasted since Billy was born.
Mom pulled out a cigarette and lit it. After she took a puff, her arm dangled from the couch until the cigarette almost touched the carpet. I grabbed it from her fingers before she started a house fire.
“I didn’t know you smoked,” I said. I put the cigarette out on our book shelf. It was beat up anyway, one more blemish wouldn’t hurt.
“I just started.” She whined like a toddler.
“You shouldn’t smoke inside. There’s a baby in the house.” She started to slide off of the couch. I pushed her back up on the couch and put a pillow under her head. She was fidgeting with her black coat, squirming until it was down to her elbows. I sat her up and took the coat off for her. I was tired of watching her struggle.
“It was just one cigarette,” she said. “The baby is fine.”
“Sure, Mom.” I got a blanket from the ottoman and covered her with it. She kicked off her high heels and curled herself into a ball. Then, she fell asleep. Her makeup was smeared all over. I knew I’d have to clean it off of the couch in the morning. Or the afternoon, depending on when she woke up.
I was still tired, but had enough energy to get back to my room. So I did. I lay in my bed keeping my eyes open. I still had fifty minutes until Billy woke up. Still no reason to fall asleep now. I’d probably turn on the TV and keep it on mute. Or I’d read a book. Maybe clean up my room a little. I’d figure something out. I always do. Just another Saturday night.