Dear Former Friends | Teen Ink

Dear Former Friends

November 15, 2015
By ScarletCity PLATINUM, High Ridge, Missouri
ScarletCity PLATINUM, High Ridge, Missouri
40 articles 4 photos 68 comments

Favorite Quote:
Anything that can be done, can be undone. ~Scarlet City

Dear Former Friends,

You were the low part of my life. I look back at it now, and I can see how destructive it was. You changed me, and not for the better. You pressed ideas into my mind that I didn’t want there. I succumbed to peer pressure while with you- doing things I never would now. Thank God it was only reading manga (Japanese comic books) and not something worse.

But you all cuss, and I would cuss in my mind. I can only imagine how destructive that would be if it actually came out of my mouth. You invited me to your birthday parties, and I went because I felt obligated to. I was sitting there in a cloud of smoke, the air smelling like wine, all because I wanted you to accept me.

I started adopting your ideas. You unknowingly taught me that homosexuality was fine (in fact, almost all of you now are homo/bi), that it was ok to cuss, and many other things. I would sit and watch these violent videos that you guys showed me on youtube. My self esteem lowered, but I didn’t notice these changes as much then. Now I do.

At the end of the school year, I knew I wanted to break free. I knew that being with you wasn’t healthy for me, and that I needed to focus my eyes on God and not the demonic, bloody, stuff you all love. That summer I made new friends, strengthened bonds with friends I knew before you, and pushed you out of my mind. You came back to school with neon, or oily black, hair, and new piercings on your face. You all came back with girlfriends, and talked about how all the living anime girls on the internet were ‘cute.’ That makes me sick. After I saw you I praised God that I was able to break the bonds.

As I hung out with my new friends, I could feel my self changing back to the way I was before you. Before you planted grey areas in my mind that Satan used to seep into my life. I am so much happier now that I have nothing to do with you. I have a higher self esteem and two best friends. My two best friends and I are closer than you guys and I could have ever been. I no longer mind-cuss, and my thinking has switched back.

You were the low part of my life, you were rock bottom. Yet, I didn’t realize it. You notice that I no longer talk to you unless I have to, and you wonder why I act so weird. You thought that you had opened my eyes, and wonder why I ‘put the blinders back on’. Now I answer your question, and this is it. “When people hit rock bottom, that is usually a bad thing. They kick and scream and thrash to get away from it. You are my rock bottom. No one wants to hit rock bottom twice.”

Despite the things I said I hold nothing against you. I am not angry at you. I truly believe that what you told me is what you believed and that you had no evil intentions. I made new friends and moved on with people that hold the same morals that I do. But, I am not sorry I broke away.

Just know that I am happier, that I am more self confident and that I have grown close to people who care about me dearly. My new friends could never erase you guys, my former friends, but I have moved on.

There is an old saying in my family. “You can’t fly with the eagles if you are running with the turkeys.” Now, I know some (all) of you don’t hunt. Translation: If I wanted to soar with eagles ( pursue the goals I had for later in life) I can’t run with the turkeys (you. Turkeys can’t fly well, and could never soar like an eagle).

I am soaring now.

        ~Your former friend

{Dear readers, I know that some of what I have written you will disagree with, and that is fine. I do not hate people who acted like my former friends, or like the same things as them. I know some people will comment on this about how I hate these people groups (Homosexuals, bisexuals, people who like anime demonic stuff, and other groups), and I don’t. So please don’t comment if all your going to say is that I hate these people. Everyone is entitled to have their own opinions about things. This letter was written to tell about a very emotional time in my life, where I had hit rock bottom. However, I invite you to comment your opinion. I just wanted to clarify this. Thanks for reading!}

The author's comments:

A letter to my former friends, and I hope that you all will walk away from this with something.

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