Mirrors have become the nightmare of the century. Suddenly even seeing yourself as a reflection in its clear gaze is like torture. Obsessively picking and prodding at the amount of fat on your stomach is a norm; purging, puking, and exercising our ways to “ideal” bodies. But who gave us that definition of ideal? That would be the culture that we live in. We have destroyed our self confidence on our quest to feel satisfaction with our bodies; but the only thing this brings is the erosion of our self-worth.

A third of American women are suffering from the mind-warping disease we know as anorexia. No one knows what it’s like unless you’ve been there yourself.

Anorexia is like a constant bell in your head that just won't go away, no matter how hard you try. It may start out as an innocent weight-loss diet, but soon enough, it morphs into an obsession with food and weight, accompanied by a loss of interest in normal life and activities. It’s turned into your own personal hell. In the blink of an eye you’ve started to avoid eating like it’s the plague, evading meal times and situations that involve food. You grin every time your stomach gnaws with hunger, taking pleasure in the uncomfortable reminder. Counting calories is as much of a ritual as frantically burning them off. An excessive and rigid workout regiment has been embedded in your life. Completely cutting out whole categories of food—such as no carbohydrates—has become a terrorizing norm. The nutrition label has become more of a friend than any person could ever be, and the food has eased its way into the slot of number one enemy. Every morning even seeing the number on the scale is like looking into the eyes of the devil himself. Even though the number is significantly below the healthy weight, the only word you can use to describe yourself as is, fat; a complete and utter whale. This is the reality of anorexia. It’s the destruction of both your body and your mind. We starve ourselves of food and self love, tearing down our self esteem, and leaving ourselves in a perpetual state of self hate. The emotional toll of this disease is immeasurable.

The physical toll is equally dangerous. As your waistline shrinks, your heart will also do the same, becoming weaker, and your pulse and blood pressure get lower and lower. This is due to muscle deterioration as the body struggles to maintain life, it begins to devour its own muscle. Your body literally starts eating itself.

It’s an unfathomable disease for those who don’t have it, and are unable to comprehend the toll it  has on your mindset and how you look at yourself. But, in today’s society, it has become a problem of tremendous proportions.

Our culture has degraded “fat” girls, manipulating the meaning of beauty into being a size zero. Our bodies aren’t made to be size zeros, nor function properly when we are that size. With the depletion of body fat, a woman's hormone levels can go awry, and as much as we all hate our periods, they can suddenly disappear from our lives. Periods, unfortunately, are an essential part of a healthy body (unless you’ve hit the menopausal stage,) and a lack of a period can have detrimental effects on a woman’s ability to have children. Especially if gone unaddressed.

The fat that you thought was ruining your life is actually help you function, helping you live. It helps maintain the correct body temperature, which decreases as one continues on with anorexic habits. Interestingly enough, your brain also needs fat for proper function; fat is part of the myelin, which wraps around nerve cells and protects them so that they can send electrical signals to the rest of our body. Fat also cushions your organs and tissues and provides protection for your bones.

Infact, when the effects of anorexia kick in, bone growth is stunted. The most bone growth happens during adolescence. This bone growth sustains you throughout adulthood, but will not continue into adulthood. This causes problems in the future as the damage done to your bones is irreversible. Both osteopenia (a loss of bone calcium), and osteoporosis (advanced loss of bone density) can set in, leaving permanent damage on your body.

We cannot, and should not, ignore the biological needs of our bodies, but we are, due to a longing and a need to look different.

In today’s society, we constantly feel the desperate need to compare our bodies to what other people look like. But that isn’t the answer. We need to start seeing ourselves as we are: perfect in whatever shape or size we come in. The only way to truly be happy is if we want our bodies to be the healthiest that they can be, not continuously living through biological and mental hell.

Above all, the best advice that I can give anyone suffering from any eating disorder is to ask for help. In the United States, only a third of the people with anorexia obtain treatment. Even less with bulimia; as only 6% of those individuals seek and receive treatment. The longer you go with the tendencies of anorexia, the more likely you are to die from it, as anorexia has the highest mortality rate of any psychological disorder.  Do not for a second think that if you ask for help, you will be seen as less, because you won’t and you aren’t. You are strong, beautiful, and deserve to live a happy life. And as completely and utterly terrifying as it is, treatment includes getting yourself to healthy weight, but it will ending up saving your life in the long run.

So, no more avoiding food like the plague. No more feeling the acidic burn in the bathroom after meals. No more burning off the food we just ate. Let’s start looking in the mirror and rejoicing! This is who we are, and no amount of permanently damaging both our body and our mentality, will change that. Stop the binging and fasting and instead pick up the fork; or your hands, whichever you prefer.