Tolerance of Abuse | Teen Ink

Tolerance of Abuse MAG

May 24, 2012
By Karenmm BRONZE, Houston, Texas
Karenmm BRONZE, Houston, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Growing up I never understood the solutions to bullying that I was given as a child. I was told by adults to ignore it or accept my abuse as jealousy – a form of misguided admiration. I soon realized that the biggest problem with addressing bullying is the simple fact that we often choose to accept it. Elementary-school children are left to fight their own battles, resulting in self-destructive behaviors ranging from violence to suicide. The problem of bullying is rooted in these beginnings, and can only be solved by ending society's tolerance of it.

During my years of being bullied, I was told by adults to “just ignore them.” Perhaps my oppressors would eventually get bored if I didn't react to their taunts. However, doing nothing simply allowed for nothing to change. Ignoring the problem was not the answer.

As a fourth grader, I made a personal decision that I did not deserve to be talked down to or made to feel scared or unsafe. Using words and wit, I told my bullies I was not going to take their abuse any longer. The moment I stopped tolerating it, the bullying stopped. It's important for all to understand that they do not have to tolerate mistreatment. Today we are taught that bullying is a part of growing up, but I beg America to understand that no emotional and physical abuse should ever be accepted or tolerated.

As a girl, I was constantly told that “he pulls your hair because he likes you.” It is preposterous that physical or verbal abuse could be considered a sign of affection! Parents caution young people about abusive relationships while ignoring playground antics that echo these same abuses of power.

Society seems to be conditioning our daughters to accept abuse. Boys are told that to be men, they must be tough. Fighting is considered normal male activity, but saying that “boys will be boys” dismisses the severity of violent outbursts. Rather than excusing bullying, we should acknowledge that violence is not an acceptable outlet for any kind of emotion.

To end bullying, we must decide that we will not tolerate abuse. Responsibility for the solution lies with adults. Parents and teachers cannot become blind bystanders. We must all be taught that violence – emotional or physical – is never acceptable. Finally, we must instill in the next generation the bravery to stand up for themselves, protect their self-worth, and defend others.



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This article has 3 comments.


on Jun. 19 2016 at 4:52 pm
socialkaysualty PLATINUM, Dover, Delaware
25 articles 0 photos 37 comments

Favorite Quote:
Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question ...
Oh, do not ask, “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, “Do I dare?” and, “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair —
(They will say: “How his hair is growing thin!”)
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin —
(They will say: “But how his arms and legs are thin!”)
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.



So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all—
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?



And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all—
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.



And should I then presume?



And how should I begin?

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? ...

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep ... tired ... or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet — and here’s no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it have been worth while,
To have bitten off the matter with a smile,
To have squeezed the universe into a ball
To roll it towards some overwhelming question,
To say: “I am Lazarus, come from the dead,
Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all”—
If one, settling a pillow by her head



Should say: “That is not what I meant at all;



That is not it, at all.”

And would it have been worth it, after all,
Would it have been worth while,
After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,
After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—
And this, and so much more?—
It is impossible to say just what I mean!
But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:
Would it have been worth while
If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,
And turning toward the window, should say:



“That is not it at all,



That is not what I meant, at all.”

No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;
Am an attendant lord, one that will do
To swell a progress, start a scene or two,
Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,
Deferential, glad to be of use,
Politic, cautious, and meticulous;
Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;
At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—
Almost, at times, the Fool.

I grow old ... I grow old ...
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think that they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black.
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

I completely agree with this whole piece. America needs to see this.

Aschwa3321 said...
on Feb. 11 2016 at 11:03 am
Aschwa3321, Greenville, South Carolina
0 articles 0 photos 2 comments
Thats antagonizing the bully which only makes it worse but crying about it is also not the way to deal with it. You should tell a trusted adult about it.

Nomicter said...
on Sep. 21 2012 at 9:17 am
I think bullying is a stupid thing. I think if someone is being a bullied then they should say something back instead of going home and crying about.