The Bloody Noir | Teen Ink

The Bloody Noir

January 27, 2018
By Inkmaster BRONZE, Beverly Hills, California
Inkmaster BRONZE, Beverly Hills, California
4 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
"The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before."
-Albert Einstein


It was seventy years ago when a sweet sixteen party turned into a brutal abuse of the human anatomy. Riley, a young, self-absorbed, suicidal teenager, was finally turning sixteen and almost all her friends had arrived. Her family had attempted to satisfy her endlessly with all kinds of trinkets and this party was just one more affectionate stunt. On her birthday, they bought her a large upside down pineapple cake, her favorite, and rented out a large golden ballroom. They hired a handsome old butler who acted like an angry spirit in disguise. His name was Ochichiri which meant “darkness” in an unknown language. He served as a butler by day and sold desires by night. Ochichiri had watched Riley’s parents try to please their daughter over the years and suggested this grandiose sweet sixteen party as a gift. Riley’s parents only desired for their daughter to feel like a princess. However, some of the guests at the party, including Ochichiri, felt otherwise and knew about the insatiable desires of Riley. As the party went on, the guests had a ball. They danced, laughed, sang and cheered. Riley became the life of the party. But then she slipped on the dance floor, almost falling over. Riley’s mother rushed over to straighten her dress and wipe her shoes but Riley was once again impossible to console. “Why don’t I just kill myself, my dress is ruined”, she said


“Hey, chin up. Everyone here thinks you’re the prettiest girl ever.” Her mother smiled


“No, they don’t.” Riley said depressed


“I’m sure they do sweetheart. You just gotta believe it. Now go out there and put a smile on.” Her mother said
Riley stormed off to blend herself into the crowd while her mother said under her breath “That little brat has to stop!”


After that, the madness began. The lights went out and the crowd became scared. Riley looked around horrendously. A chilling wind passed through the ballroom as the lights came on dimly. The crowd was only the slightest bit terrified as they thought everything was going to be alright. However, little did they know that chaos was going to work his evil magic soon enough. The lights quickly became brighter and the crowd started to cheer. However, the bulbs broke and the room became pitch black once again.


“Ochichiri, what is going on?” Riley’s mother asked the butler.


“Ochichiri?” she called again


Ochichiri appeared and asked grimly “Ms. Wyatt, are you ready for your wish?”


“Yes. But not now. Not until we given her the cake!” Riley’s mother said.


“The time has come. You need to come with me immediately.” He instructed.


Ochichiri quickly walked away leaving Riley’s mother to chase him into the darkness. A ghostly figure lit up the room and wailed an unearthly howl. The crowd screamed in terror as the bloodshed began. They dispersed, panicking without thinking. While some were attempting to break through windows, others were attempting to knock down doors.  Riley’s father helped Riley hide from the ghost until he was the first to be torn up into a bloody pulp. Riley ran as fast as she could, dodging human organs as they were splashed against the walls. The ghost was ripping the organs of her guests to pieces. Only their skin and clothes survived. Blood-curdling screams filled the room as other guests threw themselves against the door, trying to break through its antique wooden design. However, the doors were locked and impossible to open. One of Riley’s friends, Noralie was still alive and led Riley up a crickity, old staircase in the back of the room leading to the roof.


As they burst through the door, Noralie asked “Hey, are you okay?”


Riley nodded her head as she started to sob in a corner. She did not expect her special day to end on such a horrific note. 


“Riley, listen. I know this must be one heck of a bad sweet sixteen but there have been worse!” she whispered
Riley lifted her head.


“Look. The thing is, we need to get out of here before we end up like them,” said Noralie.


She pointed to a pile of corpses drenched in blood.


“I know we can get out of here, but we need to do it together.”


Riley stopped crying and grabbed Noralie’s hand. However, as soon as they took their first step, Noralie was grabbed by the ghostly figure and was the next one to be killed. Now everyone except Riley was dead. The ghostly figure turned to look at Riley, cowering in the corner. Her skin was unbelievably white as she felt her heart beating rapidly. A voice she recognized as Ochichiri said, Finish the job!” The ghost prepared her long white tentacles and grabbed Riley. Riley looked deep in the figure’s eyes and froze in fear.  At that moment, lights began to flash and she could see the pupils of the being in front of her. The figure’s soulless black eyes peered back at her with familiarity.


“Mom?” Riley screamed


The figure grinned psychotically. Then she finished the job, turning Riley into a human pen. She used Riley’s blood to write a haunting message on the only wall not covered in blood. To this day, the message remains fresh saying “Death comes to those who wish for it”.


The author's comments:

This was a piece I wrote a long time ago. It is a story I enjoyed writing because while the events are horrifying, the characters behave as if they just came from a comedy club.


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