The Japanese say that war is a horrible and an emotional journey. They believe it causes pain to families, mentally and physically. People think war can cause ‘oppai’, which is the feeling of knowing someone may not return to their families. As the Japanese say, war is ‘yugen’. Yugen is an awareness of the universe that triggers emotional responses; too deep and mysterious for words. War is a fight between angels and demons. A conflict between good and evil.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Guns are being loaded and fired away as the soldiers try to dodge and duck the bullets. The leader is like the devil, slaying the angels that try to retaliate. We are just like angels; half- broken; half- dead, half- alive. Battle weary from the raging war against evil. We try to find a way out, but this is our wasteland, our only retreat. There’s no way out of this unexplainable hell. Where is our redeemer?

“Be prepared guys! He’s welcoming us to his hostility.”

The lingering mist, slowly and sneakily wrapped itself around our bodies, as we try to blend and hide from this vicious demon and it’s master; the devil. We all huddle together keeping each other safe as we shout over the sonorous sound of the bullets being blasted away. He stands high and tall with a satanic smirk as he slaughters one angel after another.

My heart stopped.

Next to me, my friend gasps as he holds onto his stomach. He has been wounded by one of the demons. His face slowly losing its colour as he stumbles to the ground. There’s a chance I can still save him. I must save him! I drop down next to him and rip open his army shirt. Dark, red blood patches seep through his shirt. His skin smothered in blood, as he lies in my arms, smiling. Why isn’t he crying? Why isn’t he asking me to help? Why? Now I realise he was preparing for his transformation.

All I know is that this was the most tragic yet moving event I have experienced. All I could think of was his family. He was now going to be an oppai. This memory will haunt me just like a ghost dragging itself home. The saddest part is that he didn’t have heaven above him. He had hell above him and all around him. We soldiers are all tattooed with a ‘caim’. The caim is like our guardian. It tries to protect and keep us safe. His once lively body now turning and crumbling into a lifeless, hopeless corpse with nothing left to do. He’s escaped. Angel status finally achieved. This thing was certainly yugen.

For a moment I stand there, staring at my friend, my comrade; my heart racing. Suddenly, in a flash my mind went white, swirling and swirling around like a tornado until… “Daddy!” I was now back at home. “Daddy! Mummy made some tea!” I gazed longingly at the little, happy, sweet child whose beautiful golden locks just sweep at the top of her shoulders. My innocent daughter.
A soft laugh comes behind from her, it was my wife. Marie Anne meant everything to me. I loved everything about her; her warmth; her smile; her touch; her voice… “Welcome back swe-.” Blood. Red blood suddenly started to drown my mind and my thoughts just like a tsunami gushing into a village ready to attack. The piercing bullet had found her heart. She slumped to the ground. Death had claimed another victim. When will it end?