The test | Teen Ink

The test

February 9, 2014
By Burlybear45 SILVER, Omaha, Nebraska
Burlybear45 SILVER, Omaha, Nebraska
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment

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His grip on the gun tightened. Its metal got warmer as the heat from the hand conducted onto the revolver. Beads of sweat began to form along the side of his forehead and the back of his neck. This was a first. He hadn’t ever looked at one of his victims so closely as He did with the girl squirming in front of me. “Just give me the goddam purse.” He kept repeating to himself. He was breathing heavily, mind racing. The woman griped her purse tighter. In defiance and it startled the attacker. He cocked the hammer back and yelled again. “Give me the purse!” She yelped and curled into a ball. Not wanting to see the flash of the gun. He pulled the trigger and in a split second, her body became limp. He grabbed the purse and shuffled around in it. After finding a wad of cash and some cards, the man stood up. Hearing voices behind him, he turned to see two men who stopped to examine the scene. He booked forward to the end of the alley, darkness covering him, the contents of the purse spilling out.

“Yes, Marie, I know Mike will be so excited!” Jamie walked out of the corner drugstore on a late thursday night. “You don’t think he will be nervous?” Marie, Jamie’s mother said through the phone. “Of course not, mom. We’ve both been planning this for some time now and he is ready to be a father as much as I’m ready to be a mother.” “Oh sweetheart, I hope everything goes well for the two of you. Tell me what he says after you drop the news.” “Will do. Love you Maire.” She shut the phone and continued to walk down the street, only a few blocks away from the apartment. She gleamed, pressing her purse against her stomach. Thoughts tangled and emotions soared. she got so caught up in her mind, she didn’t noticed the hand that came from the alley. Pulling her into the darkness. “Give me the purse.” The voice of a man came from the attacker and she felt metal being pressed against her temple. She clenched the purse closer to her stomach, just wishing for him to not shoot. Praying to herself as she heard the click of the gun “Give me the purse!” The voice rang as she hid her face and fell to the ground. Then the pull of the trigger, sound of the gunshot and her grip loosened. As the attacker ran off into the night, the contents spilled, and the test that read positive would die with her.

“Bring it to papa!” His voice thundered with confidence and the rest of the men at the table groaned. A few chuckles and comments, “Mike, you know it would be cool if you shared the love every once in a while.” Vinny Carlo mused from the opposite side of the table. “ You know buddy, I don’t think we have the same mindset” Mike laughed, as did the rest of the group. Poker night, a monthly reunion, where the boys from work came to smoke cigars and have a few beers. Maybe watch some sports and talk smack on one another. “ Yo Benny boy, shuffle up and throw ‘em out. I want to personally take Mike’s pile.” Vinny grinned and shoved one of the guys next to him, egging them on. As Benny shuffled, the phone rang. “Excuse me fellas, I think I’ll sit this one out.” Making a clicking noise with his mouth and a wink, he left the table and answered after the third ring.

“Is this the Madison residence?” A harsh, gruff voice came through the phone.

“Yes, This is Mike Madison. Who am I talking too?” Mike answered with concern. The table grew silent as they listened in on the conversation.

“This is detective Anderson. What is your relationship with Jamie Madison?”

Well, she is my wife sir. Can you tell me what’s going on?”
The detective cleared his throat. “I’m sorry to report this to you Mr. Madison, but your wife was found dead at 12:47 am this morning....” What was said after was lost, for mike had dropped the phone. Tears began to form around the edges of his eyes. Dropping to the floor as Vinny and Benny grabbed him before hitting to hard. Sobbing harder after each breath. “Mikey! What happened man?” Before he could answer a knock at the door and entering without care walked in Tony. “Ey! sorry I’m late guys! But I did get a wad a cash off this dumb b****-” Stopping in his tracks, he saw his best friend Mike on the floor, Vinny and Benny at his side and the rest of the guys at the table. In the silence all they could hear was detective Anderson.

“Mr. Madison?”


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on Feb. 11 2014 at 6:26 am
MaryamHosain GOLD, Sydney, Other
12 articles 0 photos 3 comments

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Keep going.

i like your style of writing and the way your story goes