They won’t stop just one after another they just keep on coming, telling me to do stuff, evil stuff. I can’t take it anymore! They live inside of me, my hands, my arms, it takes a lot of willpower to try to stop theses things. I have to lock myself in my room at night or else I will wake up with a strangled child in bed with me, I can’t take it, I can’t control myself anymore, I have killed my wife, my parents, and my newborn son!
It is because of the vices they command me, sometimes I have control, other times I don’t. If anybody makes me angry, they will be dead within seconds. My hands they are the worst, they want to strangle everything that they can. I tried to move away, go into a little house in the woods, you know, where nobody will be, but there will be tons of dead little animals that I would never kill in my right mind.
I may not be in my right mind, I could be insane, just another maniac out there. I know I am not though, I would know if I am insane, I think. Insane people think that there is something wrong with everyone else, I think that I am being controlled. Rationalizing I do it too much, it helps though
. I contemplated suicide, wanting it, needing it, but eventually I turned it down. I cut off my hand though, it was hard. It took me about an hour to pull out my ax, the first hand was easy, just a couple swings then the full hand was off, the second one, not so much,I gnawed off the flesh of my hand. It hurt and the tears didn’t help, but it had to be done. Then it was done, finally, done, my hands were off the main instigator of the voices was gone.
They started to come at me, attacking me, wanting to be back. They were after me crawling, leaving a nice trail of blood. The craziest part was I could feel them, there fingers touch the ground, the open wound on them dragging on the ground collecting dust. I could not open the door to my cabin, I started to slam my blut wound against the door, it hurt every time but it had to be done. A huge shard of wood went up my arm. The door finally busted open though, my body just went limp and I was on the ground, screaming. I saw my hands coming towards me, I felt a sudden calm, and started to close my eyes, slowly to a stop. Then they popped open, I knew, I could not die, I tried to keep my eyes open. I crawled, crawled as fast as I possibly escape. My body ached as I moved forward. Then I felt my hands grab my feet. They crawled up me. I knew it was my doom so the I just closed my eyes.