The Girl Who Drowns Fish | TeenInk

The Girl Who Drowns Fish

July 12, 2012
By ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments

Blue, that’s all I remember. But that was all I needed to, the blue and the burning. The burning that came from my heart and spread all through my body. Pain generously spreading to every cell of my body, as if I were being burned and skinned, all at the same time. The more I think the more I remember. Bubbles, big bubbles in the frost-bitten blue drifted urgently away from me.

It’s strange, I’d always loved Cas, as a friend, ya know. But as he held me under, not willing to breath in, to gulp the precious air, greedily suck in the sweet oxygen I had to hate him. The water it was so cold, no air, no relief, but he had to do it. Or at least that’s what he told me, if he threw me in it would stop burning, failing to mention how I would stop breathing.

Now, naturally he didn’t say when or why. Why in the world he did it, or when for that matter. He said he didn’t want me to be anxious or know how he was going to do it. But the funniest thing is, was, I trust him or trusted him. I’m so confused because alls I can see the beautifully clichéd white light except its being blocked, obscured, stolen from me. Its all being stolen from me, or what’s left anyway. My visions already gone and I cant seem to, I cant seem to, I cant seem to, I ,I cant seem, I, I cant, to, it seams I can’t…


The author's comments:
Well this may or may not be the beginning of a novel, but for n ow its just this

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This article has 22 comments.


on Feb. 23 2014 at 8:07 am
uncomfortableBrunette SILVER, Lr. Sackville, Other
5 articles 13 photos 164 comments

Favorite Quote:
I want to hate you half as much as i hate myself

Wow. That was really good. What I'm wondering is what was happening. I can tell that someone was drowning the other guys but why? I guess not knowing makes it even more amazing but not knowing will probubly bother me. lol.

on Oct. 30 2013 at 12:39 pm
BeautylovesBeast SILVER, N. Las Vegas, Nevada
5 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
The dumber people think you are, the more surprised they'll be when you kill them
-anonymous

Great job you really put a lot of emotion to this story.

on Jul. 27 2012 at 1:50 am
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments
thank you, i appriceate it, i'll try to do better and that part two is comnmin

on Jul. 26 2012 at 7:58 am
TraceBatWingsAndBrokenStrings DIAMOND, Oshkosh, Wisconsin
52 articles 0 photos 72 comments

Favorite Quote:
"This gun has stopped time in its tracks, has altered the course of our fate. Destiny is shattered and timeless. Closed eyes feel the cold winds embrace."
-Avenged Sevenfold

Excellent. A little hard to understand, but overall very well done. I love the images I got when reading the first paragraph. Part 2?

on Jul. 20 2012 at 5:33 pm
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments
Thannks, im happy u got wat i was goin for

on Jul. 20 2012 at 2:45 pm
MadisonGrace SILVER, Nowhere, Oregon
7 articles 1 photo 43 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything is okay in the end,
if its not okay it's not the end."
"Be who you are and say how you feel because if someone matters they dont mind and if someone minds they dont matter"
"If God brings you to it he will bring you through it!"

I love the description and how you don't know whaat is going on it has a really good hook

on Jul. 19 2012 at 8:57 pm
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments
Thank you so much, i really appriceate that, i'll edit the next entry even more

on Jul. 19 2012 at 8:55 pm
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments
thank you so much, of course i'll read your post, pls tune in next time to see what happens next

on Jul. 19 2012 at 2:00 pm
_betweenthelines_ BRONZE, Milwaukee, Wisconsin
4 articles 0 photos 24 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All that we see or seem is but a dream within a dream."- Edgar Allan Poe

I really love it!! Its very descriptive, and I can feel every emotion that the character is feeling. I would suggest that you edit it a little more... but besides that, well done and keep writing!

on Jul. 18 2012 at 1:05 pm
Turtle_Princess GOLD, Hopkinsville, Kentucky
15 articles 4 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
"write from your heart, write from your soul, make the best of your talent and never let go. not for anything"

WOW just wow this peice is so amazing. The emotions are so real I feel it all as I read. I would love to read more of it. 
keep up the good work!!

and if you wouldnt mind checking out some of my work it would be greatly appreciated. :)

 


on Jul. 18 2012 at 2:23 am
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments
Thanks, in the nexp part i'll try to clear it up :)

JRaye PLATINUM said...
on Jul. 17 2012 at 9:59 pm
JRaye PLATINUM, Dorr, Michigan
43 articles 10 photos 527 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you build your house far enough away from Trouble, then Trouble will never find you."

"Have you ever looked fear in the face and said, 'I just don't care.'?"

This is great! Some parts are a little hard to understand, but all in all I really like it. The ending is my favorite part, honestly.

on Jul. 17 2012 at 8:23 pm
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments

of course i will! thank you so much for the feed back, if u tune back in i have more pending

 


on Jul. 17 2012 at 8:22 pm
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments
Thankyou, i apppriceatetour feedback and im glad you enjoyed it, of course i'll read tour peices

A_Journey GOLD said...
on Jul. 17 2012 at 10:31 am
A_Journey GOLD, Tampa, Florida
16 articles 2 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
The Muse of Poetry should not know that roses in manure grow. ~The Formula, Langston Hughes
You may write me down in history with your bitter, twisted ties. You may trod me in the very dirt, but still, like dirt, I rise. ~Still I Rise, Maya Angelou

Wow this is amazing! Definetely make a sequel :) I feel as if I'm talking to the character because the imagery is good, but not so detailed that it would take away the conversational tone. My favorite line is "beautifullly cliched white light" 

 

And im sorry for asking, but I dont know how else to get the word out. Could you check out my pieces Smooth Criminal or The Sound? Thanks!


on Jul. 17 2012 at 9:29 am
albinotiger GOLD, Gloucester, Massachusetts
13 articles 0 photos 187 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Monsters are real, and ghosts are real too. They live inside us, and sometimes, they win"- Stephen King
“In life, unlike chess, the game continues after checkmate”- Isaac Asimov

One word : BEAUTIFUL!

(maybe check out my stuff sometime) 


on Jul. 17 2012 at 3:26 am
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments
Thanks, i deff will, i really appriceate ur feedback

on Jul. 17 2012 at 3:25 am
ShadowAngel2468 SILVER, Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania
7 articles 3 photos 70 comments
thank you so much, that was so nice of you and it inspiers me to wanna write more

on Jul. 16 2012 at 9:16 pm
awesomelyme GOLD, Chicago, Illinois
11 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Akthough the truth may hurt, not knowing is the worst kind of punishment.

This poem is beautiful. The imagery is just so descriptive and the grammar was powerful. as i read it i feel like something in me feels that same burn. I really love yur poem and yu should absolutely never give up on writing

 


DanielM SILVER said...
on Jul. 16 2012 at 6:51 pm
DanielM SILVER, Kent, Washington
6 articles 1 photo 247 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I would rather hated million times for what i did then loved a million times for what i didn't do." - Daniel Moto
" I've sought out to be the best i could posibly be but when i hit a roadblock in life what did i do, i had two choices either stay at the roadblock or i take this roadblock and make of it and go around it and achieve my goal. So, what will it be?"- Daniel Mathia

"People take love like its a four letter word or just a phrase that you tell people or your friends all the time. But in reality love is much bigger than a merely phrase or 4 letter word. Instead love is a genuine promise or covenant to that special person."-Daniel Mathia

“Why change yourself when you were made perfect and wonderfully by the creator of everything?” – Daniel Mathia

“If live is not hurtin then were really not living in.” – B. Reith

Great job! Great imagery. I really like your beginning sentence. This was really good. Suggestion: expand more write a chapter 2