I Love You to DEATH | Teen Ink

I Love You to DEATH

September 15, 2009
By Niccole SILVER, Melbourne, Florida
Niccole SILVER, Melbourne, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments

Lightning struck down as the family of five walked to the front door of their new house. Kaytlin Douglas the oldest of the three children being the age of fifteen looked up blankly at the house that was barely held together by the rotten pieces of wood of which the house was made of. She still couldn't believe her mom bought this peice of junk.

The door creeked when they opened it to walk inside. It had no electricity because it was built in 17-whatever, bust since her mom had to be such a history nut they bought it anyway.

" We can fix it up to look more- oh what do you kids say? Hip," Her mother said droping her bags on the floor. The whole house was dark, it was so dark you couldn't see your hand infront of your face.

" Here," Kaytlin's mom said handing each one of them a flashlight " Just so we can see our way around, so we can get some sleep in the new bedrooms."

Kaytlin turned on her flashlight and found the biggest and closest bedroom, opened the door and walked in. Surprisingly there was already a bed in there, even though it had no covers or sheets, and the matress was torn and has a horrific odor of corpse, she was too tired to care. Before she got into bed she saw an old, yellow newspaper on the bed, the headline read

" New York Times- 1759" below it stated " A fifteen year old boy named John Newman died a gruesome death today..."

Half asleep she threw the newspaper on the ground, crawled into bed and instantly fell asleep. A spooky white cloud came slowly out if the the newspaper until it formed a ghost. He looked at Kaytlin skeptically, and stared at her until his expression finally softened "Hello," the ghost whispered so soft it blended with the wind. Once he said that a cool breeze seeped through one of the wooden gaps and made Kaytlin shiver in her sleep. "So beautiful, so still." recited the ghost. He flew closer to her and gentley touched her arm, this made Kaytlin jump and her eyelids flew open. She snatched her flashlight and beamed it on whatever touched her. Kaytlin screamed when she saw the ghost, who quickly put his hand over her mouth.

" Shh! Don't be scared!"

" You're a ghost!" She whispered a shout,

" You will be one too, very soon." He told her putting his invisible hands around her neck, he paused and removed his hands.

" Oh, forgive me, I never even introduced myself. I'm John Newman, this is my room."

" What? You mean my room."

" No," John Newman said, "I've lived in this room for hundreds of years, it is mine."

" Is that why you're going to kill me?"

John laughed a slightly creepy laugh " No, do you believe in love at first sight?"

" What?" Kaytlin was freaking out by now.

" I saw you while you were sleeping, I instantly fell in love with you- didn't that happen with you?"

" No!" She yelled. John gave her a hurt expression, which instantly turned to anger.

" Fine, but you're going to regret saying that. I'll get you, when your least expecting it!" was the last thing he said before he disappeared.

Kaytlin was too frightened to fall asleep, but even more frightened to stay awake. So with her flashlight on she slowly slipped into sleep.

The next morning Kaytlin woke up relieved, but cautious, She walked into the kitchen to find her mom unpacking boxes.

" Good morning, honey," said her mom, who stood up to giver her a kiss. "Oh by the way, you recieved something from the post office today. It was from someone named John?" Kaytlin spat out the orange juice she was drinking.

" I don't want it!" She blurted out.

" Oh, Kaytlin, don't be rude." Her mom scolded handing her the package. Hand trembling she removed the paper, and inside she found a cage with a fluffy, white Shih-tzu with a red bow in it's fur. How is this evil? Kaytlin wondered opening the cage. As soon as she did the dog jumped out making her fall down and bit her cheek. Letting out a cry as blood dripped down her face.

Suddenly she heard a shriek from the kitchen, she scrambled to her feet, while holding her cheek and darted into the kitchen. There she saw John infront of her mom laughing like a histaric maniac. Knowing Kaytlin was behing him he turned around.

" Oh, your hurt." John said sympatheticaly.

" Like you had nothing to do with it!" She screamed scarcastically,

" What can I say? I love you to death!" He laughed sinisterly.

John started to come closer by disappearing and everytime he reappeared he'd be closer.

Kaytlin walked backwards trying to escape him, looking back just to see where she was going. John's eyes were getting redder everytime his brutal laughter got louder. Flames were rising in his clear body, and soon the flames had possessed his body. John had Kaytlin backed into a corner,

" Do you love me?" John screamed, the flames exploded upward.

" N-no!" Kaytlin cried, tears of fear streaming down her face.

" Maybe this will change your mind!" He held out a buther's knife, and Kaytlin let out a blood curtaling scream. John laughed menacingly...

Kaytlin's mom Shannon woke up from being unconcious- everything was quiet. Shannon got up and went into her daughter's bedroom and shrieked at what she saw. There on the floor of her daughter's bedroom lay Kaytlin with a knife in her chest. On her forhead was a note which stated

I'm so sorry for this, but I couldn't help it. I loved her... to death! Muahaha!

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This article has 14 comments.

on Nov. 5 2010 at 11:16 am
Alex Brown SILVER, Dayton, Tennessee
5 articles 2 photos 12 comments
Wow this is really good! I liked how you made him with a sick humor! makes it all the more creepy. God bless!

on Aug. 9 2010 at 2:05 am
Future_author SILVER, Baltimore, Maryland
9 articles 0 photos 21 comments

Favorite Quote:
Some secrets can hurt, but sometimes they keep you safe, but all secrets are found out sooner or later.

wow the first sign of a ghost I'd probably run off screaming  LOL.

Mango19 SILVER said...
on Jun. 26 2010 at 8:32 am
Mango19 SILVER, Secunderabad, Other
5 articles 2 photos 31 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If Winter comes , can Spring be far behind ?"
"There are no shortcuts to any place worth going"

It was a nice idea.. I just wish there wasn't a bit off a funny side to this 1.. kinda ruined the thrill..

on May. 13 2010 at 4:20 pm
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

i'm going to be perfectly honest here: the idea of this story is excellent, however it was WAY too short. if you made it into a novel rather than a short story, i think it would be much better. great job though :)

on May. 13 2010 at 11:55 am
meganleigh122 GOLD, Greeneville, Tennessee
13 articles 0 photos 81 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... It's about learning to dance in the rain."

good story, could have been drawn out more, and i agree, you should continue with john and kaytlin as ghosts :) can you ckeck out some of my stories?

on Mar. 30 2010 at 10:57 pm
whateverjuliet BRONZE, Miami, Florida
3 articles 3 photos 89 comments

Favorite Quote:
true love never dies,it only gets stronger with time.

that was great, but slow down,way to fast, other than that ,thats a  really good story , write more!

on Jan. 16 2010 at 3:04 pm
ipromisee SILVER, Oxford, New Jersey
6 articles 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
i will fight for you until your heart stops beating. <33

i loved the storrryyyyy sosoooo muuucchhh

on Jan. 16 2010 at 10:33 am
SpiceyRedPepper GOLD, League City, Texas
11 articles 0 photos 34 comments

Favorite Quote:
Im not clumsy im just allergic to gravity!!!!

i agree more details more suspense! but good job!!!:)))

on Dec. 25 2009 at 8:48 pm
CanYouSeeTheCrazy PLATINUM, Cle Elum, Washington
21 articles 0 photos 125 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I know why everyone in this world is so desperate to find love."
"Oh yeah? Why then?"
"Because, it's the closest thing we have to magic."

you're on the right track with the suspense and the descriptions, etc, but, it just kind of seems..... i don't know, like... shallow almost. you ascended the climax too quickly. give more detail about everything, and draw it out more. other than that, you're on your way to being a great writer. you've got potential. =]

on Dec. 17 2009 at 12:47 pm
vampiresrock GOLD, Cornish, New Hampshire
12 articles 0 photos 92 comments

Favorite Quote:
When life gives you oranges, make grape juice and sit back and let the world wounder how the hell you just did that.

Yikes! to death? can that be taken literal?

on Dec. 3 2009 at 9:21 am
iDaReToDrEaM13 SILVER, Sharon Springs, New York
7 articles 0 photos 6 comments

Favorite Quote:
"By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest."

okay... yet again you wrote a pretty good story... i would like you to know that you should check your spelling... and try to make the story longer. it was kinda jumpy and too much happened at once. other than that.. great job! and i'm not trying to be a skeptic... but i'm really tough at "grading" things... its just my nature. :D

Niccole SILVER said...
on Nov. 6 2009 at 8:04 pm
Niccole SILVER, Melbourne, Florida
6 articles 0 photos 5 comments
Why thank you! I am happy to know that people enjoy my work. I will defently keep the tips, and will consider writing more about kaytlin and john!! thanks so much!!

kiki said...
on Nov. 2 2009 at 11:49 am
that was soooooo creepy I didn't like how her mom didn't see john

on Oct. 29 2009 at 11:46 am
barbestbcb BRONZE, Brooklin, Other
1 article 0 photos 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
"All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them" - Walt Disney

This was really great... Please, oh pretty please write more! I absolutley loved it! It was suspenseful and would make a really great story. I would love to know about what happens to her and John as a ghost. One little tip: read your stories aloud to yourself or to someone else because there was a little wording that didn't make sense - otherwise FANTASTIC! I can't wait to hear more of your work.