Vampire Chronicles: Part 1-Allison Becker (1) | TeenInk

Vampire Chronicles: Part 1-Allison Becker (1)

September 26, 2009
By TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.


I slammed the front door shut and ran up to my room. After slamming and locking my bedroom door, I curled up on my bed and began sobbing uncontrollably.

"Allison? Open up the door." My mom's voice rang out on the other side of my door.
"Just leave me alone!" I shouted at her.
"Allison! I just want to talk to you!" she pleaded. "Now please open up the door."
I walked over and opened it. "There's nothing to talk about! You can never replace dad!" I slammed the door in her face and began whimpering into my pillow.
I heard her let out a depressed sigh. Then I listened to the thump of her footsteps as she padded back down the stairs. A year ago my dad died, and my mom and I have been constantly fighting ever since. It's still sort of a mystery as to how he died. All the doctors and police men said it was from an animal attack, but the monstrous bite mark on his arm looked like more than just an animal bite to me. And the weird thing is that his body was there on the day that they found it in the woods and the next it wasn't. They never found it after that.
My mom has this new boyfriend now named Alexander. That was what we were fighting about. She just told me about him and I go really angry. Why shouldn't I be though? My mom has never even talked about wanting or having a boyfriend since dad died. Now, out of the blue, she has one that she simply adores. If she thinks Alexander can replace my dad, she's wrong. No one can ever replace my father.
I reached over beside me and picked up my favorite stuffed animal, Ariel. My dad gave it to me when I was only seven, and I fell in love with it from the moment I saw it. He knew that puppies were my favorite animals, which is why he picked out Ariel, a chocolate brown Pug. Ariel was named after my favorite Disney princess. I hugged her to my chest and stroked its soft fur.
"You still like dad better than Alexander right?" I asked Ariel. Talking to my stuffed animals became a habit for me ever since I was a kid.
I actually hadn't met Alexander yet, so it wasn't really fair that I was already saying I didn't like him. Either way I still didn't like the idea of my mom dating anyone.
I decided that I'd better go apologize to my mom. I actually did feel pretty bad for her. She's seemed kind of lonely without dad around. I was used to seeing my mom act this way, but it still hurt to know how depressed she was.
As I trotted down the stairs to the kitchen I overheard my mom on the phone.
"Alexander she was so upset! She wouldn't even talk to me afterwards." my mom was crying into the phone. "That's a great idea... You're right! She probably would feel better once she's met you. ........ How about this Friday night... Alright! See you then." She hung up the phone with a satisfied grin on her face.

"Hey mom. I'm really sorry about what happened earlier." I told her as I walked into the kitchen, pretending that I hadn’t just heard her on the phone.
"No, no. That's fine. I understand how you feel. So anyways, I just got off the phone with Alexander and he thinks that it would be a good idea for you to meet him. I agreed, so I invited him over for dinner Friday night! How does that sound?" she asked me enthusiastically.
I bit down on my bottom lip. I really didn't like the idea at all. I had no interest in meeting my mom's new boyfriend. "Uh, sure. That sounds great." I lied.
"Perfect! And trust me, once you meet him, you'll realize how nice he is."

"Ok. Great!" I tried to sound just as excited as she was because I didn't want to get her feeling upset all over again.
She squealed in delight and wrapped her slender arms around me in a tight hug. Then she scurried up the stairs, probably to call Alexander back and tell him that their plan had worked. I tried to stay positive about meeting him, but I just couldn't.


It was Wednesday today so I still had two more days before I actually would meet Alexander. I was still extremely worried. As I looked at the digital clock on the stainless steel stove, I saw that it was already 7:30. With me and my mom fighting, we forgot all about dinner!




So I reached under the cabinet next to the refrigerator and pulled out a pot. I ran some water from the sink into the pot until it was about half way full. Then I placed it on top of the stove and began boiling it. Since I didn't feel like doing much tonight, I would just make some pasta.
Once the water was boiling, I pulled out the box of Penne noodles and poured them all in. I put the stove on a low heat. As I was reaching for the jar of pasta sauce I felt my cell phone buzz in my left pocket. I pulled it out and opened it. There was a text from my best friend, Natalie on the screen.

Hey! Do you want to sleep over this Friday night? We could rent some movies or something. I actually get a day off from practice!

I groaned. Natalie was in competitive cheerleading and was always practicing. So we never really had any time for sleepovers. Now she finally had some time for one and I couldn't go! And it was all because of Alexander. I clenched my teeth as I wrote back.

Sorry I can't that night. My mom wants me to meet her new boyfriend, so she's inviting him over for dinner. L

I hit the send button and flipped my phone shut. When I looked over the pasta seemed like it was done cooking, so I drained it and poured the noodles back into the pot. I opened the jar of sauce and mixed it in with the pasta.
"Mom! Dinner's ready!" I called up the stairs. Then I scooped out two bowls and set them on the table, along with two forks.
"This looks delicious, dear." my mom commented on my cooking.
"Thanks." Neither of us spoke as we ate our dinner. After we were both finished we took our bowls to the sink and rinsed them out.
"I'm kind of tired. I think I'll go to sleep early tonight." I told her.
"Alright, see you in the morning."
I yawned as I entered my room, quickly changing into flannel pajama pants and a pink camisole. Then I rolled into bed, under my soft duvet comforter, and drifted to sleep.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
I turned off my alarm clock and sat up in my bed the next morning. I stretched my arms out over my head and climbed out of bed. It was Thursday today and I had school. I got ready for school, going through my usual morning routine. I took a shower, got dressed, brushed my hair, brushed my teeth, ate breakfast and made sure my homework was done and in my backpack. I slid my arms through the sleeves of my jacket and tied the laces of my Etnies.
I shivered in the cool November air, as I waited at my bus stop. I let out a sigh of relief when I finally saw my bus turn the corner and pull up to the curb. I stepped into the bus and made my way over to an empty seat and sat down, dropping my backpack down next to me.
When my bus arrived at school I pushed open the big doors and strolled over to my locker. As I turned the dial of the lock Natalie walked up to me.
"Hey! What's up?" she asked casually.
"Not much. How about you?"
"Oh nothing really, besides that David Walsh just asked me out!" she squealed in delight.
"Oh my gosh! That's great!" Natalie had been crushing on David for almost two whole years. She would always talk about how amazing it would be for him to ask her out. I told her over and over again that she should jus ask him out herself, but she just kept denying it and saying "No, I'm way too nervous!" I was glad she finally got what she wished for.
"Tomorrow night is our first date!" she cried. That reminded me that today was Thursday which meant tomorrow was Friday. And that meant that I would be meeting Alexander tomorrow.
"Well, I'm really happy for you! I hope you guys have fun." I replied.
"Thanks. Well, I'll see you later. I've got to get to science."
I slammed my locker door shut after I had all of the materials I needed for algebra, my first period class, and headed off down the hallway. When I entered the classroom, Mr. Miller was writing up the agenda for today. When he was finished I took a look and saw that we had a test today that I completely forgot to study for. I groaned, because I knew I would get at least a C-.

"Alright class. Please take out a pencil and I will begin passing out your tests." Mr. Miller announced. "Remember: no talking, keep your eyes on your own paper, and when you're done find something quiet to do. You may begin."

I squinted at the first problem, already having trouble. Algebra was one of my worst subjects, so when it came to tests I had to have studied a whole lot to get even close to an A. I tapped my pencil on my desk in frustration. This test was so hard, I couldn't even figure out the first problem! I watched the ticking clock as the hands circled around. I decided that if I didn't know the answer I should probably just move on to the next problem.
After answering all the problems to the best of my ability, I turned in my test and sat down at my desk. The bell rang soon after I was at my desk. So I gathered my things and left the classroom.

The author's comments:
I had to split the first chapter into 2 parts because it was too long. But I hope you all enjoy the new novel I'm writing! Thanks for reading!

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This article has 23 comments.


boklenhle GOLD said...
on Apr. 16 2011 at 4:05 pm
boklenhle GOLD, North Platte, Nebraska
16 articles 0 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
Our scars tell us where we have been, but do not have to dictate where we are going.

I really like this! I don't obsess over Twilight and such so I don't read a lot on Vampires, but I think this is a good story! (I can't really give you much advice on anything because I'm pretty sure I don't have the best of stories, and I really don't want to screw you up)

Great job! Keep writing!

I'll be sure to read the rest of your stuff later! (:


on Nov. 15 2010 at 9:31 pm
SilverDragon GOLD, Needham, Massachusetts
12 articles 0 photos 7 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Pick one, take two" by A. Mesnik

This is a very nice  story! i would love to read more of it! My advice- expand your vocabulary a bit, use big words and other variations of words instead of the more common ones

on Jun. 16 2010 at 1:14 pm
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

lol thnx girl :)

on Jun. 16 2010 at 9:00 am
whyshouldIlove SILVER, Algiers, Other
6 articles 4 photos 56 comments

Favorite Quote:
Three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. Benjamin Franklin

WTF THS IS AMAZING! DONT LISTEN TO HATE COMMENTS, YOU'RE GREAT!

on Jun. 14 2010 at 1:15 pm
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

well what do you think is sucky about it? i'll take all the constructive critiscism you've got for me :)

on May. 1 2010 at 8:12 pm
bluerose13 PLATINUM, Oceanside, California
32 articles 0 photos 8 comments

Favorite Quote:
Live your life to the fullest

I love this!!! please keep writing more!!

on Mar. 27 2010 at 1:13 pm
CanYouSeeTheCrazy PLATINUM, Cle Elum, Washington
21 articles 0 photos 125 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I know why everyone in this world is so desperate to find love."
"Oh yeah? Why then?"
"Because, it's the closest thing we have to magic."

thank my english teacher! lol that's helped my writing a lot, too. =]

on Mar. 19 2010 at 4:00 pm
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

thanks so much for the advice, i think it's really gonna help me. and i actually read back and picked out all the points where i needed to show more and it's helped a lot, so thank u :)

on Mar. 12 2010 at 8:38 pm
CanYouSeeTheCrazy PLATINUM, Cle Elum, Washington
21 articles 0 photos 125 comments

Favorite Quote:
"I know why everyone in this world is so desperate to find love."
"Oh yeah? Why then?"
"Because, it's the closest thing we have to magic."

just a couple revising tips - when you're writing your rough draft in first person, go and circle all the times you start a sentence with "I'. you'll be surprised.

your story is interesting, but it's like a list. "I turned in my test and sat down at my desk. The bell rang soon after I was at my desk." "When I entered the classroom, Mr miller was writing up the agenda for today. When he was finished I took a look.... I groaned...."

you're writing good, it's just choppy. show the story, don't tell it.

on Feb. 20 2010 at 9:26 am
Mykindapeopledontcarewhatyouthink BRONZE, Gueydan, Louisiana
2 articles 0 photos 124 comments
i think its really good

silver SILVER said...
on Feb. 8 2010 at 6:17 pm
silver SILVER, Fonda, New York
7 articles 1 photo 29 comments

Favorite Quote:
reading takes you places you would never dream of so keep dreaming...

this is really good

on Jan. 15 2010 at 12:05 pm
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

thanks so much! :)

on Jan. 15 2010 at 9:42 am
sillyaardvarkabc BRONZE, Riverside, Connecticut
4 articles 0 photos 63 comments
I love this! I especially liked how you hinted about vampires, but made her a regular girl. You are an AMAZING writer!! I usually don't read about vamps (not being a fan of Twilight) but this was written very well.

on Dec. 18 2009 at 3:25 pm
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

Thanks so much! :)

13islucky said...
on Dec. 17 2009 at 9:12 pm
13islucky, North Hills, California
0 articles 2 photos 46 comments

Favorite Quote:
Be yourself everyone else is already taken

This is cool i love it!! Ur really good

on Nov. 29 2009 at 5:21 pm
TeamJacobArchuleta ELITE, Chicago, Illinois
183 articles 7 photos 484 comments

Favorite Quote:
He's the one I call in the middle of the night. He's the one who makes everything alright. He loves me with no regret...I just haven't found him yet.

thank u soooo much! that means a lot! :)

on Nov. 28 2009 at 5:06 pm
ajparker BRONZE, Robinson, Texas
2 articles 0 photos 26 comments

Favorite Quote:
If its not noon yet don't bother waking me up! ;)

I write about vampires but I hate twlight!!!

and I started writing about vampires and witches and werewolves before I even heard about Twilight.

PS: Rob Patterson or whatever is ugly!

give me a U! give me a G! give me a L! give me a Y!

whats that spell?!

UGLY! aka edward!

look up the word 'ugly' in the dictionary there is a picture of edward!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HAHAHA TWILIGHT FANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

on Oct. 23 2009 at 1:44 pm
BeautifulSimplicity BRONZE, St. Louis, Missouri
2 articles 0 photos 62 comments

Favorite Quote:
We keep it light, until it's time to go dark. Then we go pitch black.

i really like it, i dont agree with others, its called an expaned momentent which is good, i love it soo far, other reades are just jelous because they dont have your skill, i say keep writting! love it

on Oct. 16 2009 at 2:40 pm
unwrittenlove DIAMOND, Mount Berry, Georgia
61 articles 11 photos 153 comments

Favorite Quote:
"If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, its yours forever. If it dosent, then it was never meant to be" -anonymous

haha. they probably would... LOLZ

on Oct. 15 2009 at 5:16 pm
emmatheballerina GOLD, Tacoma, Washington
14 articles 0 photos 55 comments

Favorite Quote:
"It is not in our greatest glory in never falling, but in rising everytime we fall"
"I use to want the words "she tried" on my tombstone, now I want "she did it"

some parts you write too much on and others you don't write enough I feel. But good job so far