Memories from a Life Missed | Teen Ink

Memories from a Life Missed

June 25, 2014
By LittleKid1985 SILVER, Watford, North Dakota
LittleKid1985 SILVER, Watford, North Dakota
8 articles 12 photos 10 comments

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Accept people for who they are, gender, race, sexual orientation it doesn't matter, we all walk different paths with different goals and interests.


I am familiar with horror movies.
I live in one, but this is truly the seed of my deepest nightmares. Sam’s legs are crushed by bent twisted metal. His blood runs black like syrup and sticks to my fingers staining them black. He breathes but barely, he doesn’t think and I slip into his mind, begging him to stay with me, only to find him curled up in the deepest part of his brain. Where pain can’t reach him, where life and death doesn’t matter. Where he can stay forever, a corpse.
“Stay with me, dammit!” I command of Sam. “Dammit Dad! You can’t get me out and then leave me!” I plead. He doesn’t move, his mind doesn’t stir, his soul doesn’t respond. His seat belt is stuck. Ripping the seat belt fabric, I work around the tree branch trying to get to the metal crushing his legs.
“Move, Kid.” Kellen commands. I do as he says and move to the side as he rips the interior of the car out piece by piece.
“I called Pire, she’ll be here in a few minutes.” I don’t say anything. Instead I stay inside Sam’s mind and watch him through the window of the locked door where he lies like an infant. Curled in on himself.

It takes Kellen ten minutes to free Sam’s crushed and mangled legs. Another ten for Pire to show up and five more while the three of us try to put him on the stretcher without moving the shrapnel lodged into his chest.



Life is a precious thing, not something to handle lightly. I had always thought Sam as indestructible, a God. Now I’m starting to wonder if everything we thought about vampires is even true. I pinch the bridge of my nose and try to console Josephine the best I can. We wait in the small waiting room while Pire runs scans of Sam’s body to find the extent of his injuries. We’re not sure if he’ll walk again.
We’re not sure if he’ll have brain damage as a vampire needs brain function to be reanimated. We’re not sure if John Green is still inside his head. I think about the shadow I saw in the living room and wonder how John Green could possible get inside Sam’s head. Ghosts don’t possess people, unless it’s really important or they are like Jack and have Magic. Otherwise, Ghosts are friendly beings, not ones to do a full body take over.
Poltergeists on the other hand, don’t care who we take over as long as we get to do what we want when we want. We aren’t knit picky who we take and pray upon the weak just because. We are ruthless and cruel and John Green fits the criteria to be one of us. So how did he pass himself off as a Ghost? No one is that good at lying who they are, and Death has a certain way of bringing out who we are. Some of us were evil in life, and were evil in the hereafter and some of us are made into who we are just because. But we can always choose who we are and some like me, have retained some of our humanity. The Powerlords on the other hand, what made them decide to go separate ways? When we went right why did they decide left was better? I ponder this and stare at my blistered burned skin. The doors to the CAT Scan Room open and Kellen strides towards us.
“Pire sent me to bandage your hands. And she wanted you to look at this.” He hands me a piece of paper with symbols on it.

§¤µ???????

“It’s Arabic isn’t it?” Josie asks, wiping her eyes. I glance at Kellen. Asking silently, if it’s okay for her to know. He shrugs and then nods.
“Yes, but we borrowed some symbols. It’s not Ghostian.” I say, handing the paper to Kellen.
“So what is it?”
“Poltergeiste. It’s a Bleeding Curse. See the sun? When Vampires weren’t immune, they used to burn and bleed. The Curse is permanent until you can find the Poltergeist who cast it.” I explain. Kellen dabs at my palms with cold water.
“But he’s a Ghost.”
“When’s the last time you’ve seen a Ghost with a shadow who can possess people?” I question.
“Yeah, you have a point, there.” Uncle Kellen sighs. “Is there anything in that brain of yours that can cure him?”
“Faceless One blood. We can heal injuries like we used too.”
“Isn’t it also poison?” Josie asks.
“Only if I want it to be.”

“I have to warn you it’s not pretty, Kid.” Kellen says leading me into the Hospital room, once I had been blasted clean by whatever Magical forces Sam has set up. Sam lies on a hospital bed with tubes and machines running from his body like small rivers. Two lines connect him to Silas and Pire while the third line sucks blood off his chest from the hole left by the metal. Sam’s face is covered in salve and shows pale through the clear goop.
His hands are bandaged and wires run from his arms connected to numerous blood bags and IV’s. A single tube runs out of his mouth and nostrils helping him breathe. His clothes have been removed to be replaced only by his boxers.
“What is he doing here?!” Silas demands. Pire scowls.
“This is getting old, Silas! He is Sam’s son, for crying out loud! Not some murderer trying to kill everybody. Either behave or I will write up a Referral for your immediate removal from this Kingdom! Do you have a problem, Shaft?” Pire snaps at me. On edge. If I had a problem Pire I wouldn’t tell you. I shake my head. “Good sit over there, Kellen you too.”
We do as she says and I turn away when she inserts the two needles into my veins. “Now you do understand that this might drain your energy and or completely take your energy to manifest?” Pire asks. I nod.
“I’m fine with it.” I answer. “I’ll just switch my energy to Leah, she’s asleep anyway.”
Silas snorts. “Still can’t believe you got a girlfriend.”
“And I still can’t believe you’re talkin’” Uncle Kellen snaps. “Shaft has done nothing to you Silas.”
“He wasn’t Chosen!” Silas snarls. “He’s a freak!”
“Yeah? When’s the last time Shaft beat his girlfriend? Or opened his mouth? He has done nothing, Silas. He’s half Faceless One, and he could have let Sam die last night he could of gone back to bed and pretended he had no idea about the accident, instead here he sits giving blood to Sam so he’ll heal!” Uncle Kellen roars. “So shut up! Or so help me God, I will send you back to the hospital where they’ll have to ice your jaw, before they reattach it!” Silence falls in the room and Kellen’s eyes flash dangerously.
“I love family reunions don’t you Aunt Pire?” I ask Kellen and Pire stare at me.
“Yeah Kid, I do.” Pire says tousling my hair. “Are you hungry? Can I get you anything to snack on?”
“Yeah an apple would be great. I missed apples when I was incarcerated.” I say. Pire smiles.
“Sure. I’m going to talk to Josie and then I’ll bring you your apples.” She leaves and Kellen turns to me, “What else do you miss?”
“Conversation mostly, apples, people, I missed the Ghost’s too.”
“You never told us that before.” Kellen says. I shrug.
“Never thought it was important.”
“I think it is, we speak our minds here, or someone’s going to read it. So speak up, you have a voice.”
“I spent 3 years in a place where talking got you extra shock therapy and 96 years in a house, with no one to talk too. I’m getting used to someone wanting me to talk and being able to hear me.”
“Sorry, I forgot. What else haven’t you told us?”
“Besides everything? You ever have rotten food to eat? I thought it was the worse until I had nothing and couldn’t eat. Molded Bologna would have been welcomed.” Kellen winces. “See this why I don’t say anything. It disgusts you.” I say. Leaning my head back against the wall, I close my eyes. I wish I had thought to get a bit more plastered.
“Yes it does but not because of you, it disgusts me because it shouldn’t have happened.” He scowls at Silas who stare pointedly at the floor. I squirm in my seat. I hate hospitals, being hooked up to machines, you can’t escape. Being in the same room as the Ghost who made sure I would never forget, doesn’t help either. So I babble with whatever flashes in my head
“You know you could always tell when the Nurses were going to let the reporters in. They would threaten us with more shock therapy if we said a word to anyone. They’d force us into strait jackets. I hated them you couldn’t move and we’d be forced into one big room, all of us drugged up. I hated the drugs they took away the Ghost’s made everything dull and I didn’t see Beatle for days. I thought I lost him.” I murmur watching my blood flow through the tube and disappear into Sam’s veins.
“Why didn’t Beatle tell us where you were?” Kellen asks.
“Because he couldn’t get out.” I swallow. “Once we were in there, he started slipping away. He wouldn’t leave me.” I swallow the bile that has risen in my throat. Beatle couldn’t stand the voices in his head, they whispered things to him warped his mind in the end. I told him to leave, find the light. I would be fine. “Not even when I asked him too.” Silas snorts. Kellen glares at him.
“What you believe that?”
“You must really want your jaw sewed on, Uncle.” Kaz says from the doorway. He smiles at me.
“Hey, Pire sent me down here said you could use a friend. I ain’t Leah or Jack but, I’m still good right?”
“You’re friends with him?” Sneers the Overlord. Kaz rolls his lynx eyes and pulls up a chair.
“Why not? He’s a good guy.” Kaz scowls. “Jack says hi, by the way, well least I think he did. He said something. Leah’s fast asleep.”
“So Pire woke you up?”
“Oh no, I was out hunting.” Kaz says. “I caught a rabbit.” He grins showing his feline needle sharp teeth.
“Yum. You eat it?”
“Hell no. I’m more of a catch and release kind of cat.” Kaz says.
“William, I raised you better than that!” Snaps Silas. Kaz rolls his eyes, tuning to his Uncle he says, “Really? I wasn’t aware you raised me at all.”
“I give up!”
“Well it’s about damn time.” Pire says, coming back into the Hospital handing me a plate of sliced apples she turns to Silas, “I’ll take the line Silas, you can go.”

I stay up for a while, munching on the sliced apples and listening to Kaz talk about the upcoming Prom and how he was thinking of asking Jack to go. Prom is a huge thing in the Kingdom,
“I think it’s a good idea, just don’t wear blue.” I say. “Your hair would be weird.”
“True, you think he’d go?”
“I don’t see why not.”

An hour later, Kaz is sent home, and Kellen moves a hospital bed next to Sam’s so I can keep giving him blood while I sleep. Helping me get dressed in a hospital gown, Kellen maneuvers the wire connecting Sam and I.
“You’ve been eating haven’t you?” Kellen questions my showing ribs.
“Yeah.” I answer wishing he wouldn’t stare at my bony chest. I have only gained a pound since I’ve started eating again.
“Pire, maybe you should have me give power instead of Shaft. He’s too skinny.” Kellen says. Pire comes over and I wish they would stop staring, it’s embarrassing enough.
“Sam said that you were skinny.” Pire says, eyebrows raised. “Do you feel okay?”
“Like I can run a marathon.” I answer. “I’m fine, I’ve been eating my weight should get back to normal.”
“If you start to feel like you’re fading, I’m pulling the line.” Pire says after a minute. “I’ll be inside your mind, so you can’t lie to me.” And with that I am put to bed by my Uncle.

Energy running low, it’s easy to succumb to the recesses of my more, than screwed up mind. Instead of the normal nightmares that usually haunt my cob webbed mind, I end up in a library style room with books, and magazines and computers and a single couch. I had been in this room before when I was little, but no one had been in it. It had only been me with quite a few less books then now.
Until now.
The man sits with his legs crossed, right foot jiggling slightly. His hair is shaved in short choppy lengths like someone took a razor to it before he died. His eyes, however, are grey almost white, and not kind like the Ghost’s I usually deal with. That isn’t what is the most unsettling about him. When he smiles, his teeth are silver and metallic like mine, when I am no longer me.
“Welcome, Shaft Thirteen.” The hair on the back of my neck stands on end. Who welcomes someone to their own subconscious? For that matter who sneaks into a stranger’s mind? “Sit,” The Ghost says gesturing to a hard back chair. I don’t know what’s weirder, a stranger in my mind or the fact that I’m doing what he says.
“Do you know where we are?” The man asks, I shake my head. “We’re in the In-Between the place where Ghost’s travel if they want answers to anything they wanted to know in life. Unless of course they have a brain like yours and you can access any information you want anytime. Ghosts can even add to it, anything they learned over the years, anything at all.” The man smiles again revealing his razor metallic teeth.
“Not to be rude or anything, but who are you?”
“Don’t you recognize me?” The man asks. I shake my head. I had never seen a Ghost like him before in my life. “No? And we are even in the same family. “ He tsks.” Jeesh and Sam thought you were a prodigy?” Warning bells sound in the library and the man’ smile becomes larger.
“John Green.” I sigh. I should have known, razor sharp teeth and creepy as hell eyes.
“You ever hear the story of the Poltergeist lady who put a curse on her house so every one hundred seven years she comes back and terrorizes who ever occupies the house? No? You should really read up on what our relatives have been doing! If I had the resources that you do, damn I would never leave this place!”
“Why are you here?” I ask, and not in hell where your demented butt belongs?
“Because I’ve got some unfinished business with your old man. Not the rapist, your new father.”
“You killed his daughter and tortured his wife, you have nothing to get back at him for.” I point out.
“He ripped my heart out and stomped on it.”
“Probably the best thing he did for you.”
John Green snorts. “You shouldn’t live with them. You shouldn’t defend him. He let you rot in that place, he knew what your father was doing to you. Still you defend him?” I grit my teeth unfurl my fingers.
“It wasn’t Sam. He got me out.”
“See? If you were mine-“
“I’d be someone I wouldn’t want to be near.”
“You wouldn’t know the difference.” Sneers Green. “They’re brainwashing you!”
“No, I love Leah, I love Jack, I even love Kaz, I love both Josie and Sam and my aunt and Uncle. They love me, you are evil, you pretzeled my dad. You don’t go pretzeling my family members.”
“They aren’t your family, we are!”
“And yet I have more in common with them, than you. Look couldn’t you get even with Sam later? Or get a psyche evaluation or something? Cause you already screwed Sam over what is this three times now?” I ask, annoyed. Green sighs dramatically, picks under his fingernails.
“Fine I hereby withdraw my Curse, car accidents aren’t fun anyway, I’ll have to find something else. Goodbye Mr. Thirteen.”

Pinching the bridge of her nose, Pire faces me. Her usually perfect hair sits on top of her head in a messy knot. Her hands are stained with Sam’s black Power. “The In-Between, That’s where he is?”
“Yes.” I answer for about the hundredth time. What’s so hard to get?
“Do you know hard it is to get there?”
“Not really that’s where I get my knowledge from.” I admit. Pire paces in front of me, like a caged animal, syringe full of blue-ish silver liquid.
“You shouldn’t believe everything you hear.” She croaks.
“He’s not lying! It’s a library, I used to dream about it, when I was exiled. I used to read the books when I was little. He’s a Poltergeist, Pire! It’s how he got into Sam and Seth’s head! I can possess people too, I’ve done it before! Ghosts can’t, they aren’t as vile as we are!”
Pire suddenly relaxes. “Fine. I’ll check into it, for now I’m giving you and Sam something to stay asleep. Do you want to see his memories, or more of yours?” Pire asks tapping a rather large needle.
“Why are you putting me to sleep?” I ask as Pire pushes me back down on the mattress.
“When’s the last time you actually got a good night’s sleep?” She flashes her teeth at me, and I’m surprised that like Sam, she doesn’t show her fangs. For vampires their powers and fangs are a source of pride, the sharper the fang, the stronger the power. Now that I think on it, I haven’t seen Hailey’s or Uncle Kellen’s fangs unless Kellen was about to turn.
“Why don’t you ever have your fangs showing?” I ask just as Pire inserts the needle into my skin.
“Solidarity.” She answers before I completely black out.

Entering someone’s mind, is a different experience. It isn’t falling, it isn’t horrifying, there’s nothing dizzying about it you just appear as the person living the memories. Real as everyone inside of their world.

Why did Pire have to send me out tonight? Of all nights, that my addiction decides to torment me the most, she sends me to buy everything she can think of at Walmart. Furiously I shove another handful of hot Cheetos in my mouth. Stupid stop lights, stupid humans and their desire to under dress. My throat sears and my brain wants to shut down, wants me to get out of this car expose vampires, and hunt.

My fingers twitch on the steering wheel, tightening my grip, I slam down on the gas just as the light turns green. Tires squealing in protest, I’m a bullet on the road, headed home. My mind flashes with nagging images of pain and a man I’ve grown to hate. Shaft’s father. Over the years, I’ve tried everything to destroy the memories. Had my brain shocked, mind control worked for only a little while, tried drowning them in alcohol, then there was the whole drug thing. Nothing has worked. I’m stuck with them and Shaft’s only got three years before his time runs out and he gets a full blast of My Life Sucked brought to you by sucky parents and a moronic vampire.
My drug addiction is the reason why I lost Shaft in the first place, ironic that I can’t quite give it up even though it destroyed not only five percent of my brain cells but Shaft’s life. If I had stayed clean, told Pire that I had started relapsing back into my old life, things would have been different, and Shaft wouldn’t be forever sixteen in house that he was tormented in.

Sighing, my Aston Martin whines in protest as I come to screeching stop at yet another red light. Fate is trying to screw with me. Walking home in the coldest weather this year, is a girl with the brain of a scholar. And watching her is the Vampire Mafia or the Powerlords, or in other words my not so favorite guy, John Green. Dammit, don’t I ever get a break? Dialing Pire’s number I watch the girl, and tune into Green’s thoughts.
“Hello?”
“Pire, John Green’s targeting a human walking home, she’s talented, Josephine Taylor What do you want me to do?” When They target people it’s usually for a bad reason. Like all the other times the humans were taken and decapitated.
There’s a smile in Pire’s voice, “Ask her if she wants a ride home, but bring her here.”
“Why?”
“Because I know Miss. Taylor, she was my intern a year ago at the College. And Sam?”
“Yeah?”
“Be nice, she’s a nice girl.”
“On it.” I answer snapping the screen shut. I ease the car up to the girl and roll down the window. “Miss?” I call out. Josephine turns. She’s beautiful even for a human with shocking blue eyes and rose colored lips, with flawless skin and black hair.
“Yes?” She asks timidly.
“Would you like a ride home?” I ask.
“Um I’m fine.” Without looking up at the building, I can see one of Green’s spider’s scale down the building, edging closer.
“Are you sure? You live a long way from home.” I wait with baited breathe.
“Yeah you know that would be great.” Josephina nods, her mind hazed with my control.
Check Mate John.

“I thought you wouldn’t call,” Josephine says kissing me. Wrapping her arms around my neck she pulls me closer. “I missed you.” I murmur against her lips. “If you’re trying to seduce me, you’re doing a great job.” She pulls away from me. As soon as she’s a good few inches away my fangs retract back into my gums. She smells good, I should have drank more this morning. One skinny meth head just does not get it for me anymore.
“Where were you?” She asks as we pull away from her house.
“Jail.” I answer. Josie gives me a look. “What? Pire put me in jail because I told you about the Kingdoms.” Only two nights, one for risking a human’s safety and the other for almost exposing the Kingdoms. I don’t see how I could have compromised the Kingdoms safety, when said human knew what I was eighteen dates ago.
“Oh. Are you still in trouble?”
“No, but I had to suffer through the Talk.” I muse. Gotta love Pire’s lectures. This one was quite enlightening.
“Aren’t you a little too old for that one?” Josephine asks knowing perfectly well I don’t mean the sex talk. Pire could care less if I get lucky, she cares if I expose us all and Josephine ends up in a casket and the killer, (Hi!) delivers her eulogy at her funeral. Pire was very thorough with explaining how well I would be executed. A Thousand Ways to Die has nothing over how many ways Pire could (and would) kill me if I exposed the Magical World.
“She just wanted to make sure, I don’t go rogue and kill you.”
“Isn’t that what you’re going to have to do, if we break up?” Josie asks softly.
“Yeah, but I don’t see us breaking up, so you don’t have to worry about it.” I answer. “Besides Pire thinks you’re good for me.”



“So when do I get to meet your grandfather?” Josie asks from the bedroom. I met her mom last week. May likes me, Josie’s father does not. Just because he thinks I’m a delinquent with fangs, doesn’t mean I am. Just because he’s a cop with my whole drug history before him, doesn’t mean I’m going to hurt Josephine. But he is a cop and I do have fangs and I’m dating his daughter. Now Josie wants to meet the Ghost of my grandfather who is never sociable, not even when he’s drunk. He loves me and that’s about it. If you look up scowl and anti-social a picture of Greg Coaler appears. He wasn’t always like that, his eyes were never that cold and hard. But when my parents died, he was left with a kid (me!) he never wanted to raise. And I turned out exactly like my parents, smoking that opium, like there’s no tomorrow.
“Whenever he appears next, I promise. “ I answer. “Do you want vanilla or Strawberry?”
“Both!” I chuckle. It’s her first night in my apartment and I’m on edge. Silas has the Magic controlled to not noticing how human Josephine is. I’ve noticed how human she is, and so hasn’t everyone else. Her parents are painfully human and they knew right off that I am not. I didn’t even bother trying to make them see me as something else, Josie didn’t want to lie to them. Keep our existence a secret, but what’s the point when some people no matter how much you try to convince them you’re human just won’t be persuaded? So now there’s three humans who know about the Kingdom. It’s not like they’re going to tell, one of them is in love with me, and the other two, who would believe them? Putting the ice cream back, I carry the two cups back to my bedroom. I didn’t think love existed for a vampire, but I fall in love with Josie again every time I see her.
“For a vampire you eat a lot a human food.” She says accepting the glass.
I shrug. “What can I say? Human food is a lot better in this century.”

“I love you Josie,” I whisper in the dark. Josie mutters something and inches closer to me. I’ll wait until she falls asleep before I sneak out. I have never dated anyone before in my life, it sounds lame, but I either spent the time angry over Shaft Thirteen or high, or wishing I had Shaft back or wishing I was high. Dating and falling in love didn’t seem like a possibility, but getting Shaft back isn’t a possibility either.
I look over at Josie’s sleeping form, she would have loved Shaft, he was funny and mischievous and everyone’s dream child.
When I’m sure Josie’s fast asleep, I get up and pace through her house. Her grandparents were rich and willed the house and everything inside it to her. Including the studio. Josie uses it sometimes but when she doesn’t the door on the third floor almost mansion stays locked. It’s a good thing she likes to keep things simple and according to the Profile in my head, keeps the lock under the hidden potted plant.
The studio is fully stocked with easels, paper, canvases, pastels, chalk, paints, oils, charcoal, boards, and anything else Josie needs. Grabbing a pencil and paper, I sit down at the mahogany desk and begin to sketch out the images in my head.
“Sam?” I jolt awake as Josie shakes my shoulder.
“Huh? Wha’?” I ask, wiping my eyes riding them of sleep. Josie stands before me in a see through bathrobe wearing a pair of my sweats and a white tee. She must have just gotten up.
“Were you in here all night?” Josie asks, picking up one of my drawings of Shaft and Kellen and another of Shaft laughing with Beatle over something the two found funny.
“I’m sorry. I should have asked you.” I say. Josie stares at my drawings, and smiles sadly.
“You miss Shaft a lot don’t you?” She asks. I nod.
“I hate that I couldn’t save him, that I let crack become more important than him.” I croak. “If I had stayed clean, he’d have a better life, you could have met him.”
“What if you tried to reverse his sentence? I mean find someone besides Silas to plead the case too?”
“And if I win? He’s never going to forgive me. How could he? I chose crack over him.”
“What about this time around? Prove to the Council you’re not the drug addicted vampire you used to be, and you’ll get him back.”
“And what about you? What if he’s not the same anymore, what will you do?”
“Love him as unconditionally as you do. I’ve seen your memories of him, he seems like a wonderful boy.”
“He’s never going to get older than sixteen, and he’s a Poltergeist.” I remind her, Josie smiles.
“You won’t change my mind, Sam. They look identical.”
“Shaft was Finch and Liam was Beatle. Sometimes they’d switch names but the plans of two little boys never goes far when one of them always answered to Liam.”
“That’s an old name.” Josie muses.
“And he hated it, but it was a family name on the boy’s father’s side. He liked beetles but could never spell it right so it’s spelled B-e-a-t-l-e.”
“You know a lot about both boy’s.” Josie says picking up another drawing.
Sam nods, grins. “I was going to adopt them both, we can do that adopt a Ghost child and a Gaurdian child. Plus I’m a Profiler so I knew their history. Except now Shaft is blurry to me.” I stare at the picture I had drawn of Shaft laughing, he had alive once.

Hand in hand, we walk down the edge of the shore, the tide inches away from grabbing our feet. The sun sets over the empty beach casting pinks and a splash of orange on the open sea. The coming night is warm and a slight breeze ruffles through Josie’s hair. The wedding’s next Saturday and my nerves are toast.
“You’re giving up a lot to be with me, you know.” I say softly in Josie’s ear. “The Mansion, the studio, the freedom of being able to swear.” We had a no swearing rule at the Kingdom, brought on by Silas’s annoyance of having the f bomb dropped left and right like there’s no tomorrow.
“Oh yes, how would I be able to live without swearing? The house is big and lonely and means nothing to me. You do, and if I have to go back to how I was living before, I met you, I can’t do it.”
“You will have to get used to sleeping next to my lifeless body, me leaving in the middle of the night to go kill whoever Pie sends me after, my random babbling, and previous drug addicted life, because Pire’s going to keep checking my apartment. People looking at you like you’re about to be zapped, because humans don’t walk in the Kingdom and live to tell the tale. You’re giving up a beach front home for me.” I wait for her to snap out of whatever convinced her that marrying me, is a great idea. We’ve been engaged for three weeks and I couldn’t be happier. I just worry that she won’t be once we tie the knot.
“Sam?” I swallow, wait for her to break our engagement. “Shut up.” And before I can protest, and give her seventy five more reasons why marrying me is a bad idea, her lips cover mine.


“Wait you’re afraid of marriage?” Josie asks confused. “What’s there to be afraid of? You say a few words, the minister or in this case, Silas, pronounces us husband and wife, we go on our Honeymoon and we come back just with different titles.” She says a frown tainting the usual curve of her perfect lips.
I stare at her, my breathing irregular, and shake my head. “My parents. What if I?”
Josie crouches down beside me and begins picking up the glass that I had accidently dropped.
“You aren’t going to screw this up, Sam, you’ve been clean for years and I’m pretty sure the drug mafia isn’t going to bother you.” Josie says a smile hiding in her tone. She knows the whole truth about my drug dealing days, how I was a drug lord myself. Josie knows everything via rumor and things she’s asked me. She tousles my hair. “You’re not your parents. You’ve fixed your own mistakes and you’ll make thousands more, but you’ll fix them, Lovea.” She kisses me. “It’s going to be okay, you’ll see.”
“Yeah sure.”
“It’s called cold feet, we could wait if you want, though I’m not exactly sure how waiting would make you see any differently.”
“I’m just being stupid.” I say. She smiles.
“No, you care, which is a lot more than your parents ever did.” She says, I scoop up the rest of the glass, no need for a dirt pan, not when I’ve got almost indestructible skin.
“You know the story Greg told me about you dressing up and having Pire paint you with glitter and each kid had to guess who you were, and every time they guessed right, you put five bucks in a jar and every time they guessed wrong-“
“They had to put a dollar in the jar.” I say not sure where she’s going with this. It was a bet I had with the kids that if they could guess who I was, I put my own money in the jar, but if they guessed wrong it cost them a dollar. It was fun, every day for a month I’d dress up like a different character from some movie, book, or play. Pire thought it was a good idea so she helped me with the costumes and Kellen and Hailey helped me find the characters. I was the male version of Tinkerbelle, Wolverine, Cinderfellow, Jack Skellington, Shrek (that took a lot of green paint and a fat suit I borrowed from the drama department), and the Joker. In short I had been a lot of people with a lot of costumes and make-up and green hair dye that still hasn’t completely washed out.
“By the time you were done, you had over a thousand dollars in that jar. And you know you could have bought anything with that money instead you gave it to charity.”
“Because that was the purpose. “
“You put most of your own money in that jar.” Josie points out grinning. “For a human cause. You know how many vampires I’ve heard do that? Not many you aren’t your parents, Sam. Come on, you rinse and dry and I’ll put them away.”

“You really are awful at this,” Josie says as I run to retrieve my shuffle board puck. “I was a stoner, not a sports fanatic.” I say honestly. I had a knack for mixing chemicals, not being a team player. She smiles.
“My parents would be damned before they let me sink into societies’ gender roles. If I wanted to play football and wear Sexy Pink nail polish my parents were proud.” She kisses me, drawing me closer to her and like a moth to light I oblige. I never thought I would ever find someone that the sun would always be the center of my universe. I’ve never been so happy to be so wrong.
It’s a near silent twilight over the island, Josie hears the waves, I hear the Faceless One’s screeching not too far off. They contemplate whether or not to attack us. Hatred is their thing, but at a peaceful place like this, it confuses them, which means John Green is confused. Am I going to make a snack out of Josie? Or am I really in love with this human? He doesn’t understand it. Humans are play things, not meant to take as wives or husbands.
“Are you okay?” Josie asks.
“Yeah I’m fine. Your turn.”

The next morning, the sun creeps through the windows at seven thirty. I scramble the eggs and stir the batter for pancakes. The room’s a mess with pillow fluff strewn across the floor and glass from the bathroom mirror. I’m not exactly sure how it got broken. My mind is just one big black hole sucking everything inside of it. I remember what happened last night, that’s not the problem. That will never be a problem. Maybe it’s some brain malfunction or something. I’m really happy, beyond ecstatic, maybe my brain can’t function normally because of all the drugs I snorted, smoked, and infused. Just my luck the happiest week of my life and I’ve got weird blackouts. Not all together odd, but I’ve never woken up to find glass everywhere and pillow down.
I sip my blood and watch the sun rise. Josie’s fast asleep. She’ll be up in a bit either the sun or the smell of food will wake her. We’ve been together for a while now, and I thought marriage would change at least something. But no, the only thing that changed is now I’ve got a ring on my finger and instead of a girlfriend, a wife. I’ve got one amazing wife. I smile, nearly choke on my breakfast. Slop a good half of it on my chest. Grabbing a towel I wipe the crimson and chuck the towel deep into the trash can. The cleaning crew will never know. I flip another pancake onto a plate, stir the eggs and shuffle through the refrigerator. Josie’s not a big fan of milk; but she’ll drink chocolate milk and by default I do too.
“Sam?” Josie asks sleepily.
“In here,” I say. She grins, grabs my bathrobe because we forgot hers and slips it on. In the light she looks paler, sick. She kisses me, half heartily.
“What’s wrong, did I hurt you?” I ask. Oh God, is that why there’s glass everywhere? I scan her skin for cuts and bruises finding none, my mind goes into hyper drive.
“No, no,” She soothes. Then what? “You had a nightmare last night and you were sleep walking. Yelling about something in Vampire? I think it was and you were trying to find something. You started ripping apart a few pillows and then ended up punching the mirror when what you were looking for wasn’t in the fluff. I asked you what in God’s green earth you were doing and you hissed at me, called me Silas. Anything you want to tell me?”
“I don’t remember anything.” I say, shutting off the stove. She comes up behind me winds her arms around my waist, rests her chin on my shoulder, I can feel her heartbeat. “I didn’t hurt you did I?”
“No, other than that it was the best night of my life. Do those memories of his just randomly show up?” I sigh. It’s not really set in stone when I get them, the memories just come and go when they please.
“Sometimes. But it wasn’t one of his memories. It was one of mine.”
“You busted a mirror and destroyed pillows?” Josie asks, confused as I feel. I shake my head. “No, the mirror, yeah, but not the pillows. I destroyed my office. I couldn’t find any of the files I had on Shaft, I couldn’t remember his name.” The last part is a whisper.
“Oh Sammy.” Josie sighs.
“Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?” I ask.
“You didn’t hurt me. “ She assures.



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