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What Makes A Lady Fair?
“I hear she’s the fairest of them all!” squeaked Muriel the mouse.
“Whooooo told you that? And whooooo is it that is so fair?” replied Olivia owl, always hungry for the latest forest gossip.
“Everyone is talking about her, you know, Snow White? My neighbor Bill says he’s seen her come out of that tiny dwarves’ cottage quite a few times now!”
Olivia turned her head around to gaze upon the very cottage that Muriel spoke so excitedly about.
“Well, there’s only one way to find out how fair she really is!”
So Olivia and Muriel made their way over to the cottage.
A great big apple tree stood just outside of it, and that is where the two friends parked themselves.
“Oh Olivia, I don’t feel comfortable with this. You know they’re going to catch us spying on them. And then who know what will happen? I could become food for the cat!”
Olivia ignored her friend’s protests and tried to get a peek at the inside of the cottage through the nearby window.
But suddenly, the tree began to shake.
“Olivia!” Muriel squeaked, trying to cling to the tree by wrapping her tail around one of its branches.
“Hey! Who’s up there? Is that you, Olivia? Muriel? What do you two busybodies want?” Grumpy yelled, looking full of rage, and ready to lose his temper at any moment.
Doc appeared by his side a moment later. “Oh, they’re harmless Grumpy. Now, we came outside to do some apple picking. May I ask what you’re doing here?”
Muriel was the first to speak. “My friend and I wanted to know: what makes Snow White so fair?”
Olivia turned her head and glared silently at little Muriel, suddenly wishing she had eaten her a long time ago.
Doc scratched his head, thoughtfully.
“I suppose she is so fair because....”
Grumpy spoke up, nostrils flaring, “Because she is beautiful and gentle and before she came along, this place was a dump.”
Doc nodded, “Yes, she’s beautiful, that part is logical. However I don’t think she’s very gentle. We’ve all seen how mad she gets when we forget to wash our hands, or forget to buy her things at the store, or we choose not to feed the cat because were so hungry and there’s only so much food to go around…”
In a very un-ladylike fashion, Olivia puffed up her chest and asked impatiently, “But how is she beautiful? Does her hair reflect the sunshine? Are her eyes bright and blue?”
Sneezy came outside the cottage and joined the conversation. “Actually her hair is black and her eyes are this funny brown-green color.”
The Prince appeared, with a basket of groceries in hand, and Dopey trailing along by his side.
“Sneezy, shouldn’t you be inside? I thought you had problems with your allergies.”
“I do. But Sleepy wanted me to see what all the commotion was about out here. He couldn’t look for himself because he’s taking a nap.”
The Prince looked up at the tree, raising an eyebrow at the sight of the owl and mouse sitting beside each other.
“Hello Olivia, hello Muriel. I haven’t seen you two ladies in quite some time.”
They blushed at this acknowledgement, suddenly feeling like they’d overstayed their welcome.
“We found them in the apple tree, and they’ve been asking us what makes Snow White so fair,” Doc explained.
“That’s obvious. It’s because she makes me dinner every night,” Dopey patted his stomach, nodding to himself.
“What brought on this question anyway?” the Prince said.
“We were just curious!” the animals said in unison, “Honest!”
“I see. Well, I can answer this question.”
Doc, Dopey, Grumpy, Sneezy, Olivia, and Muriel, were all waiting with anticipation for the conclusion.
“Snow White is not the fairest of them all because of her cooking, cleaning, or beauty. She is the fairest simply because she is willing to live with the seven of you. And she’s been listening to this entire conversation.”
In horror, Olivia and Muriel looked at the cottage window and realized it had been cracked open the entire time they were there. And through the window, in the shadows of the kitchen, Miss White could be seen sweeping the floor with a smile on her face.
At the sound of the Prince’s voice and everyone’s gasp, she came over to the window and lifted it up to stick her head out.
“Hello, Prince. Did you get the things I asked for? I can’t finish dinner without them.”
He grinned, and she then looked up at the apple tree.
“You two are welcome to stay for dinner too if you like.”
Olivia’s eyes widened, and she glanced at Muriel, who, for once, was speechless.
“Um…no thank you, we were just leaving!”
And with that, Olivia took flight, Muriel scurried away, and the rest of them were left laughing.