Transgressions | Teen Ink

Transgressions

January 30, 2013
By Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski


It's dark. The moon just barely shines through the canopy of leaves above, daring me to look for more than a glimpse of light... as though if I try I might be swallowed up by the darkness entirely. The light mocks me. It is not my friend, it never has been.

Except that it's cold, now, and rain has started to pour from the sky in a vengeance. My skin breaks out in a million goosebumps and my hair is plastered to my face and neck. I raise my eyes to the sky and wonder why the trees don't block the rain, too.

I am alone. I have always been alone.

The icy droplets now cover my skin thoroughly. My wings fall to either side of me, suspended in the chilly air and heavy with moisture. They add to the weight I feel pressing down on me, an eternity of fiery demise with no hope of ever reaching the sun. Nothing burns like darkness, though they say the sun burns.... They do not know that stars like that are very much alive, and it is only when they fall that they burn.

I see a shooting star pass by overhead. Another misery added to the flames of eternal damnation.

I only feel the cold now as I choose to believe it is there. And though it is not real I can almost imagine the water on my skin, the light of the moon, however brief. For I am trapped in this place, in this Nothingness, alone and tormented for my transgressions.

It is dark, yes, and it is cold. But I welcome the cold.
The light does reach me finally, by the passing of a single soul. It winks out of existence in less than a second, replaced at once by my fictitious moon. A soul on its way home, where light is eternal, and not this darkness.

The light mocks me, yes. It is not my friend. But once it could have been...


The author's comments:
If it's unclear, this angel is in Hell and dreaming about rain... at least, that's the literal version:)

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This article has 12 comments.


on Apr. 2 2013 at 12:27 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Haha, thanks so much for your advice! I'll take it into consideration :)

KatsK DIAMOND said...
on Apr. 2 2013 at 12:17 am
KatsK DIAMOND, Saint Paul, Minnesota
57 articles 0 photos 303 comments

Favorite Quote:
Being inexhaustible, life and nature are a constant stimulus for a creative mind.
~Hans Hofmann
You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.
~Ray Bradbury

I really like this. The descriptions are really good. The one unsolicited critique I have is that your second sentence is a bit long and confusing. This is really well done and captivating.

on Mar. 27 2013 at 4:10 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Definitely :) and thanks for commenting!!!

Vampriss GOLD said...
on Mar. 27 2013 at 4:03 pm
Vampriss GOLD, Chanute, Kansas
13 articles 0 photos 4 comments

Favorite Quote:
Z's make everything better~Me
" If you are what you eat, then I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning" RJ
"You wouldn't go into war without your best ammo... So why would you get on stage without a Schecter?" ~Zacky V.

I Love this story. And I would love tobe your friend! I am a very open person. Everyone is my friend.

on Feb. 16 2013 at 1:19 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you so much! Maybe because its about an angel imagining a scene that's not really there, which is what you're doing when you read poem? Idk.. Thank you for commenting on so many of my poems:)

on Feb. 16 2013 at 12:17 pm
StarlitSunrise DIAMOND, Clemmons, North Carolina
56 articles 0 photos 253 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places where other people see nothing." ~Camille Pissarro

  This is so sad, but very good. I don’t really know how to explain it, but I sort of felt like I was there as I read it. It’s such a powerful poem.

on Feb. 11 2013 at 10:48 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you very much! ;)

IMSteel BRONZE said...
on Feb. 11 2013 at 8:39 pm
IMSteel BRONZE, Wallhala, South Carolina
2 articles 0 photos 128 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Learn from Yesterday, live for Today, hope for Tomorrow" - Albert Einstein

"Brevity is the Soul of Wit" - The Which

Beautifully written, and to the point.  Good job!

on Feb. 11 2013 at 5:24 pm
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Lol, I actually meant to say "to betray a child" but I was distracted and said "transgressions"... Nice to get feedback on this one too, though! Thanks:)

on Feb. 11 2013 at 4:52 pm
GuardianoftheStars GOLD, Shongaloo, Louisiana
17 articles 0 photos 495 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Let's tell young people the best books are yet to be written; the best painting, the best government, the best of everything is yet to be done by them."
-John Erslcine

Super good! I loved the details and it was beautifully written. :)

on Feb. 9 2013 at 12:50 am
Jade.I.Am ELITE, Fishers, Indiana
214 articles 14 photos 1163 comments

Favorite Quote:
“If you're losing your soul and you know it, then you've still got a soul left to lose”
― Charles Bukowski

Thank you. This is what happens when I'm bored in English:)

on Feb. 9 2013 at 12:06 am
E.J.Mathews GOLD, International Falls, Minnesota
19 articles 2 photos 145 comments
Loved it! Your imagery was amazing, and I was intrugued by the story. Amazing work!


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