Of Light | Teen Ink

Of Light

July 7, 2018
By SeanTheSuperfluous BRONZE, North Adams, Massachusetts
SeanTheSuperfluous BRONZE, North Adams, Massachusetts
1 article 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
“I want you to remember, Clark. In all the years to come, in your most private moments, I want you to remember, my hand, at your throat, I want you to remember, the one man who beat you.” (Batman)
-Frank Miller, The Dark Knight Returns

"This loud, clumsy stupid thing.This is the weapon of the enemy. We do not need it. We will not use it. Our weapons are quiet — precise. In time, I will teach them to you. Tonight, you will rely on your fists — and your brains. Tonight, we are the law. Tonight, I am the law." (Batman)
-Frank Miller, The Dark Knight Returns

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche


Minute One:
I am conscious. Am I conscious? Surely I am not, but if that is true, then how am I telling this story? Is this story true? If not, does it ring true? I do not know. I am only a ray of light from a star, hurtling towards a planet with no biology or a soul. Therefore, I am not conscious, even though I am unique amongst all light rays.
Does my existence hold meaning in the universe? No. I am an inconsequential wave of energy, and one of a vast infinity as well. Maybe I am different. But I do not experience life. Do living things experience life? But if there is a possibility I experience life, do I have consequence?
Either way, I have a limited amount of time. I am hurtling towards some kind of spheroid which is ninety two million miles away. This means I only have eight minutes and twenty seconds until I cease to be. How will the passage of this time feel? Will I feel it at all? Is everything happening all at once right now, and I am choosing to remain in this moment? It does not matter. Regardless of why, I am here, and I only know that I have eight minutes and twenty seconds until I cease to be. All I can do is think about my state of being.

Minute Two:
I wish to understand death. Is It the end of my existence? Or is it a metamorphosis? When I dissipate upon reaching my destination, I believe I will experience it. Will I simply change into something else? Either way, I will cease to be me, and that is a death all its’ own.
I am curious about the experience. Will it be uncomfortable? Is it a transcendence to a new experience? Physically, when my short journey ends, I may continue in my composite parts, but will I still think? Maybe I will not die, but, rather, stop existing. Only living things die.

Minute Three:
I am further from the place of my genesis now, and I have no control of the fate that lies ahead. I have no understanding of what lies before me, due to my lack of sensory organs. I have nothing else to do but ponder this, as I have no way to communicate or to tell if anything else is near me at all. I am losing myself now, if such a thing can apply. What would be so quick and easy to pass for something else feels like years for me.
I have no senses, but it almost hurts. The pain of ignorance is one of true sorrow, like a knife in the side of what could be called a soul. Since my creation, I have concluded a number of things. For example, I believe I exist. I also believe I am unique, as the only light ray which can question its’ own existence. But all of these things are just that: beliefs. I desire certainty. More than that, I crave truth. I want to understand.

Minute Five:
Eternity is a long wait. But I am not eternal, and this, like all things will end abruptly and meaninglessly. I am fairly certain I am alive, but does this existence have purpose? I still have no idea. But I must be faster with my thoughts… I am near the end. I only have a limited time left. But I know it will feel like a billion years regardless. I am no longer the naive beam of light I began as, although I still have much of the same questions.

Minute Seven:
I must hurry. Though I have but the blink of an eye to exist, I must answer my questions. Am I alone? Most likely. Am I alive? Once again, most likely. Do I have meaning? I am unsure. But it doesn’t matter. Life is simply a natural occurrence, and is nothing special. Or is it? Maybe it is. Maybe life is unique in its’ lack of certainty and that any who experience it feel a mixture of triumph and suffering. One seems unable to be present without the other.

Minute Eight, Second Nineteen:
No matter what I say, I must remember one thing:

My existence is important, like everything in this great universe

And it’s time to die.


The author's comments:

This story was originally created for a writing contest. I had the idea stewing in my mind for quite a while but I really had no reason or motivation to put it on paper until my creative writing class gave me an excuse. But why are you reading this when there's astory to be read?


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