I Wish | Teen Ink

I Wish

March 29, 2012
By Iggy_Fang112 BRONZE, Daytona Beach, Florida
Iggy_Fang112 BRONZE, Daytona Beach, Florida
2 articles 0 photos 20 comments

Favorite Quote:
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.


Pain is inevitable; Suffering is optional


I leaned against the wall waiting. She would be coming around the corner any moment. I leaned forward slightly, anticipating the moment when she would walk by. Walk wasn’t the right word, not the right word at all; more like float, or breeze past me. I couldn’t wait to smell the musky scent of her perfume. I closed my eyes, imagining the smell of her perfume, the slight bounce in her step, the way the sun caught her hair and made it dance. The way her eyes sparkled, the way I wished she would call my name… Suddenly, I was pulled from my daydream. “Hi, James!” Her voice seemed to float all around me. I looked up, and started toward her, to talk to her, to tell her everything, but she wasn’t looking at me. Then I realized she wasn’t speaking to me. She had called James, not Alec. I watched her as she skipped forward and threw herself into his outstretched arms. He finally pulled away and then scooped up her hand, as I watched from underneath my hair, which I had let fall into my eyes. My heart sank, and I clenched my fists, digging my nails into my palm so hard it hurt. I closed my eyes, focusing on the pain. Why can’t she look at ME like that? I thought.

I walked quickly past the art and music classrooms. I glanced inside, wanting a last glimpse of her before I left. I saw that she wasn’t in any of the rooms, so I quickened my pace, and walked past detention. For some reason I glanced inside, and almost dropped my backpack. There she sat in the far corner. My heart was drumming louder and louder. It was so loud that I could hear it. I willed it to stop, to quiet down, but nothing happened, except it got louder and faster. She looked up and saw me looking in the window. I quickly glanced away and started walking away, not wanting her to think I was spying on her. I half ran out the door, and leapt down the stairs, and jumped into my car. I sped away, heart racing. I headed for the interstate, needing a long drive to clear my head. Thank goodness it’s Friday. By Monday she might have forgotten how I was staring at her through the window.


Evanescence poured from the speakers, pulsing all around me. I sipped my drink slowly, savoring it. People all around me were laughing, talking, dancing, and moving. The floor vibrated slightly from the music and the all the people milling about. I sat on the railing of the deck looking out across the ocean, and stared into the throng of people. I watched everyone, skipping from face to face. My gaze landed on someone’s face but quickly skipped to someone else. Then I jerked my glance back to her. It was Kataryn. I stood up, leaving my drink. I started to make my way towards her. Halfway there, someone stepped in front of her. What? Did that guy think he was her guard dog or something? I thought angrily. The music faded and was replaced by a pretty tune that I didn’t recognize. She slipped her hand into his, and he spun her out onto the dance floor. I watched, my heart being torn in two, as he spun her out, and then pulled her back close. He leaned down and whispered something into her ear that made her laugh. The sound carried across the dance floor, and reached my ears. She leaned up and brushed her lips against his. I knew I could do all that better than he could, give her more love. I would never break her heart. Why couldn’t she see that I was the one for her? I wish time would turn back, I thought. I wish I had told her how I felt before James told her. Why, oh why, was I such an idiot? Why didn’t I just man up and tell her how I felt? I watched with my heart torn as he danced with her, his hands on her waist. At long last, the dance ended. He said something to her and headed for the counter, probably to order more drinks. I stood up determinedly, and started towards her. She had her back to me, so I went up to her, and touched her arm. “Hey.” She laughed, and without turning, she put her hand on my chest. I wanted to stay there, and let her hand rest on my chest, but I knew it would make things worse, so I stepped back. She turned in surprise. “James, what’s wr… Oh. Hi, Alec. Sorry about that.” I smiled shyly. “It’s ok. I just need to talk to you.”

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