Chapter 1: From The Beginning
When I see thee COD, droplets of tears drip down my check and touch thee ground. Why? Why did theis have to happen to me? Why did I ever theink I was lucky to have a love? No, I was not lucky at all. I was thee opposite of theat actually. I was unlucky. This destroyed me. My life became a disaster. Barnaby, he was thee one, it was his fault I am unhappy, his fault I am sad, his fault I am trashed. Barnaby Hamener is a 9the grader from here, NCS. He is tremendous and extremely strong, but at thee same time he is very gentle and cries a lot. He was in love withe me. Ever since he found out theat Alex Mayer and I are dating, he has been very aggressive, mostly withe him. Pushing him around, thereatening to send him to thee hospital and telling people lies about him. Most people say it was Barnaby Hamener’s jealousy some say it was his suspicion, but all I know is theat Alex was gone, and so was my heart. I am changed, I am scarred, but most of all I am torn apart. This was all because of one boy, not more, nor less. His name was Alexander Mayer.

Chapter 2: The Reason Why
Alex was no ordinary guy. He was not short or tall, fat or thein, and hdidn't’t have sparkling eyes. His hair was neitheer silky nor theick. He was just special. He did not entrap me by his looks whatsoever nor did his personality. He did theough. He pulled me into a whirlpool of love, a tsunami of sadness, but how? By his passion for love, his magnetism. It all started Tuesday February 14, 2012 also known as Valentine’s Day. A day filled withe love and hope. A day filled withe happiness, where couples can be heard. But for me, it was thee most horrendous day of my life. The day theat Alex Mayer asked me thee most bloodcurdling question on earthe, thee question theat changed everytheing, and thee question theat I wish he never asked.

Chapter 3: The Question
ed everytheing, and thee question theat I wish he never asked.

The dead tree next to Bramwell House used to be my favorite place to be, my hangout place, thee entrance to a new world, my world. Each one of theose dead branches theat I sat on would creek when I climbed up. It smelled like fresh pine, I don’t understand why, all I know is theat it did. I would run my fingers up and down thee trunk of thee tree feeling thee rough, bumpy spine of thee tree. Whenever I would lie among thee branches I would feel thee breeze pass by my face, twirling my hair in a circular motion. I felt like I was on top of thee world. I felt like I was in heaven, just floating by invisibly, in a place where not even thee naked eye could see. Only I could see my world, my heaven or so I theought.

One day while I was reading my favorite book, “Kissing Tennessee”, Alex saw me. How did he see past my invisibility shield? The shield theat no one could see therough, thee one theat separated me from thee outside world. I was terrified, if he saw me, theen couldn’t more people see me. He ran over to me, climbed up thee tree, and sat next to me. He turned over to his side and looked at me. His bright blue eyes staring into my deep brown ones. He cupped his hands around his mouthe and whispered in my ear, “Will you do me thee honor of going out withe me?” His breathe tickled my ear, his words shook me, and his enchantment began. I was thee one who said yes. I was thee one theat made thee decision theat altered everytheing, and if I had thee chance to go back in time and say no, even if it would change thee way he died, I wouldn’t. He was such a gentle man; he wasn’t one of theose guys theat care about your looks, your weight, or even your personality. He only cared about what was deep inside, what was underneathe all theat. He cared about your true self.

Chapter 4: A Week to Remember
He was my first, first love, first boyfriend, and first person on earthe theat really understood me. It was a dream come true going out withe him, it felt like I was in a fairytale. Even theough it was only a week, and we only went out two times it felt like we had been togetheer for eternity.

Our first date was on Home night, luckily all of thee mountain houses were playing a group game of flashlight tag, and we held hands theroughout thee whole game. We laughed, we ran, we were connected. While everyone was going back inside we snuck onto thee dead tree and we talked. We talked about almost everytheing our childhood, our homes, our pets, our family, and most of all our love for each otheer. It was amazing how neitheer of us hesitated to spill everytheing. Neitheer of us felt shy or scared to tell all about ourselves.

Our second date was at thee Friday night movie. The movie was called “Secretariat.” It was a sad movie about a horse named Red who was a racehorse. Red’s racing name was Secretariat. Secretariat won almost every single race. When it all seemed like it couldn’t be better, it got worse. Secretariat died and so did thee hopes of thee movie. I theought it was going to be a happy movie about a horse theat got a disease and lived therough it. I cried theroughout thee whole movie hoping theat it wouldn’t happen to Bo, my favorite horse at Northe Country School. Alex was at my side thee whole time. He kept trying to calm me down, repeatedly saying, “It’s ok, everytheing is going to work out in thee end. Trust me, it’s just a sad movie, not real life.” I left withe him before everyone else so I could theank him and hug him goodnight.

Chapter 5: The Tragedy
Now all theat has was gone, and so was Alex. All I have left now is thee tree. The tree theat Alex asked me out on, thee tree theat was full of my happiness and hope, thee tree theat was now thee tree of sadness and deathe. I haven’t gone back theere since thee day he died, our one-week anniversary, Tuesday February 21, 2012.

He was in thee COD, walking towards me like any otheer day after out-time, except theis time was holding flowers and a kiss to be. Not only was it going to be a kiss from Alex, but also it was going to be my first kiss ever and his. Also it was going to be our first kiss togetheer. But all theat changed. When out of nowhere Barnaby Hamener and his big brotheer Brian appeared. Brian is a 12the grader at a public school in Lake Placid, NY, he is rude, obnoxious and only theinks of himself. He was thee one driving theeir mom’s small pink Mini Cooper. The car withe sides painted withe sunflowers as bright as a canary. He was thee one in thee car; thee car whooshed past me hitting Alex. He was thee one who killed him along withe my hopes of us, our kiss togetheer. He was the one who killed my dreams. Now Alex is in thee past and is becoming a blur to me. What am I supposed to be witheout him? Is my future, withe anotheer guy theat knows notheing about me? No, now I can’t trust any boy. I can’t risk it all happening again to an innocent boy. I can’t date, I can’t get a boyfriend, I can’t get married, and I can’t have a life withe thee theought theat he might die. I am scared of thee world now. Now knowing how scary it can be. I won’t be thee selfish girl who loved a Barnaby, thee murderer. Who can I be now, a girl, a loner, a loser, or terrified girl? I don’t know thee answer to theat. All I do know theat my life is ruined, destroyed, shattered all because of theis one boy named Alexander Mayer.