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Letting Him Go
It was 7 p.m. Gray clouds veiled the skies, and a shower of rain fell down from the heavens. Sitting at her windowsill, Amy listened to the soft, gentle sound of raindrops ricocheting off of the glass, wondering how on earth she could have been so stupid. It just didn’t make sense. How could this have happened? Hadn’t everything been perfect? That’s how it always appeared to be. But ever since the recent incident, Amy had found her heart sinking lower and lower every day, the world around her growing darker and dimmer. Now that she knew the truth, she was having trouble coming to terms with the reality of what had really been going on for the past two years.
She shivered inexplicably, and hugged her knees tightly to her chest. She could feel herself becoming weaker and colder, one body part at time, starting at her toes and gradually working its way up her legs and to her fingertips. She released a sigh, thinking about how severely this ordeal was scarring her for life, and how she would never be the same because of it. She felt so lost and confused. Above all, she felt like a fool. She’d never felt more so in her life, and that only worsened her emotional distress.
After a few more minutes of sitting silently at the windowsill, Amy heard her cell phone ring. She shifted her gaze to the bed, upon which the phone was resting, and scrambled across the room to get to it. She nearly lost her breath when she read the caller ID.
It was him. It was Jason, her boyfriend for the past two years. He was the boyfriend who she was deeply in love with, and the boyfriend who had sworn he was in love with her. He was the boyfriend who treated her like a queen and made everyday feel like a fairy tale. He was the boyfriend who would call her in the middle of the night just so he could tell her about the dream he’d just had about her. He was the boyfriend who Amy completely trusted and confided in. She thought he was the greatest person on Earth.
Unfortunately, that was not the case. Jason had a secret. He had been living with his other girlfriend in his apartment for a year and a half, as Amy had just discovered in the past week or so. He was the player, the liar, the cheater; you name it. But regardless of what you call him, it all means the same thing: Jason was a classic charmer, and Amy had been his latest victim.
She swallowed hard, and took several deep breaths before answering the phone. Pacing around the room anxiously, she flipped it open, and said, “What do you want, Jason?”
“Amy, I need to talk to you,” he said.
She sighed. “Then talk.” She really didn’t want to hear what he had to say. But somehow she was still compelled to listen anyway. He obviously still had her wrapped around his finger, no matter how hard she tried to unravel herself.
For the next hour, Amy listened Jason ramble about how incredibly sorry he was for not telling her about Madison—his other girlfriend—and how she wasn’t as important to him as Amy was. “All I want is you, Amy. You’re everything to me. You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen, and if I lost you I don’t know what I’d do; I need you in my life. I know I made a mistake, but everyone makes mistakes. Come on, baby, don’t you love me?” he asked.
Amy stopped pacing and leaned back against the wall. She stared down at the floor, and shook her head in disappointment of herself. She knew his words were nothing but lies, false assurances, and meaningless apologies that he was only giving her so he could soften her up enough to maybe win her back. She knew now what game he had been playing all along; but she only wished she’d figured it out sooner.
“Well?” Jason repeated. “Do you love me?”
Amy pressed her lips together and stayed silent for a moment. Then, she finally answered, “Yes.” The word came out as a sigh.
There was a momentarily silence again. Then, in a softer, more desperate-sounding voice, Jason asked, “Will you give me another chance?”
Suddenly, everything came flooding back to Amy, every memory of her and Jason dominating her every thought. She remembered the first time she saw him, in the check-out lane at Wal-Mart. Nobody she had seen before wore that blue employee’s vest as well as he did, and sparks flew immediately. She remembered their first date, when he had treated her to dinner and a movie, a common and simple affair for couples that somehow seemed to her like the most romantic thing in the world. She remembered receiving a beautiful charm bracelet from him on her eighteenth birthday, the first charm already attached to the chain. She remembered lying on the couch together, their fingers intertwined, and Amy’s head leaning against his chest. She remembered kissing him, and that perhaps was one of the most beautiful memories of all. The passion between them as they would press their lips together gently, while Jason held her close in his arms, always made for an amazing moment, and convinced Amy that he was undoubtedly the only one for her.
But then, after reminiscing on all of the best times, Amy had to reminisce on the worst times, too. The first thing she remembered was her friend, Debbie, asking her to meet her at Starbucks. Once there, they both ordered a cappuccino and sat down at one of the tables, where Debbie broke the news about Jason to Amy. She remembered running home crying that night, and calling Madison the next day to confront her. She had denied the whole thing. And all of that led up to this moment, where Jason had asked Amy for forgiveness.
She ran his words through her head one more time:
“Don’t you love me?”
“Then will you give me another chance?”
It was the hardest question he’d ever asked her. But looking back on everything that had happened in the past two years, from kissing him to discovering that he’d cheated on her, and from spending the night on the couch together to having Madison lie for him, Amy knew there was no other way to go.
“No,” she said, and hung up before he could say anything else. She clicked her phone shut and just stared at it for a minute. Then, when she became aware of what she had just done, she broke down and started to cry. She had set him free, and now the love of her life was gone forever. She slid down to the ground and buried her face in her hands while she cried, hating herself for letting him go, but knowing that ultimately she had made the right choice.