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"It's Just... Complicated..."
Tears swelled up in her eyes as she felt her throat choke up. She didn’t know what to say, so she just stood staring at him, her mouth quivering. She hated him to see her cry, so she turned her back to him and started to run. She ran against the wind. It tried to push her back, like it wanted her to face him again, but she forced herself to keep going.
“Wait! Stop!” he called after her. She heard the padding of his sneakers against the sidewalk as he ran after her. She willed her feet to move faster, but she soon felt his hand on her arm.
“Please, I want to talk to you.”
“Talk about what?” she said as she turned to face him, looking him straight in the eye. Rage swelled up inside her. “Talk about how you betrayed me? How you lied to me? There’s no need. I get it.”
“No, that’s not true! I’m sorry, I swear, I never meant to hurt you!” He reached for her hand, but she pulled it back.
“It’s too late for that now”, she said as she turned around, about to walk away.
“No, I won’t let you leave!” He ran in front of her, holding his hands out, trying to stop her. “Please, hear me out. Let me explain.”
“What’s to explain? You lied, and I’m done with you.”
“You don’t mean that. You still love me, I know you do.”
“It doesn’t matter now. I can’t be with someone who doesn’t love me back.” She tried pushing past him, but he blocked her.
“But I do love you”, he said softly.
“But you also love her!”
“It’s just… complicated…”
“That’s no excuse!” she sneered in disgust. “I can’t believe you… Just let me go.”
“No, you have to hear me out.”
“This is pointless. Long story short, you said you loved me. I trusted you. You love her and lied about it. And now I’ll never trust you again. I was stupid to think you even knew how to tell the truth.”
“Don’t say that! I don’t love her, I love you!”
“But you like her! I’m not going to share your affection. If it was between me and her, then you obviously chose her.”
“I didn’t choose her!”
“You did when you started liking her!”
“Look… whatever my feelings are for her, I can figure them out. I can get over them, and I can get over her. But I could never forget about you. And I know you feel the same way about me.”
“Yeah, well, I guess I’m just too stubborn for my own good… Now let me go before I start to cry again.”
“Please, just listen to me. I love you and I want you in my life. And you love me too.”
“Is that so?” she snapped sarcastically. “And how do you know that?”
He looked into her eyes and softly said,“Because you wouldn’t care about this so much if you didn’t. Because you’re still standing here.”
She was speechless. She just stared at him, trying to think of something to say back. But she knew that he was right. She let out a single sob, and fell into his arms.
“I’m sorry for putting you through this”, he said gently. “I messed up. I know it’s going to take some time for me to earn your trust back, but I’m willing to do whatever it takes. All I’m asking is for you to forgive me.”
She sighed shakily. “You’re right”, she said slowly looking up at him. All the anger was drained from her voice. “I do love you. But, just this once, I have to stop listening to what my heart is saying. I want to believe that I’ll eventually be able to trust you again, but I just don’t know. I just… think it’s better if you sort out your feelings on your own. And if you truly do love me back, then you’ll realize that this is what’s best. For the both of us.”
Now it was his eyes that began to mist. He stared down at her, his eyes brimming with tears. He opened his mouth to say something, but before he could get the words out, she softly kissed him on the cheek, turned around, and walked away. This time, he didn’t run after her.
She kept walking, not daring to look back. But she walked with her head held high. As much as it hurt her to do it, she knew she had made the right decision.
Missouri City, Texas
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"The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself."
-President Franklin Delano Roosevelt
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"forgive your enemies, nothing bugs them more."
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