do you remember that night when we went outside and watched the oranges, yellows, blues, and reds fade into gray and navy? do you remember when we walked through the fields of gold and green, barefoot and sticky and smelling of sickly sweet honey? do you remember when your voice, timid and warm like molasses, gave way to ringing laughter? do you remember when your whitewashed blue eyes were downcast and your feet were slightly turned into each other, sadness hanging like a heavy cloud all around you? do you remember when you dreamt of the endless expanse of the galaxy, and you felt more lost and small than you had in years? do you remember when i told you that you were infinite, took your wrists, and dropped kisses on every scar? do you remember when the steel walls were up, and you looked at me and said, “let me see you cry”? do you remember when i blinked rapidly the first time i saw you, and how my eyes burned as i likened staring at you to staring at the sun? do you remember our first kiss, slow and awkward and eager? do you remember the trembling of your fingers, and how they curled into fists when you tried not to hold my hand? do you remember the brush of my eyelashes against your temple, fluttering and rapid? do you remember when we felt so in love that not even the monsoons we laid ourselves out in could destroy us? do you remember our disintegration, subtle and painful and foreign? do you remember the night we said goodbye, our lips pursed together instead of against each other?

i remember.