Subway Sob Story | Teen Ink

Subway Sob Story

April 5, 2018
By ahmontgomery PLATINUM, Eminence, Kentucky
ahmontgomery PLATINUM, Eminence, Kentucky
23 articles 13 photos 44 comments

I love Subway. They constantly make sure that I get my food promptly and never make mistakes. I encourage anyone who needs to eat in order to survive on this planet, to try Subway.  The most successful time I’ve been to Subway was in fact, just last week. I was in a huge rush to get to rehearsal on time, if not - a little early. Not eager to suffer the stomach cramps that always follow a nutritious Big Mac, I decided to go to Subway.

I was delighted as I was crunched for time to see that the line was very short, just one other person in front of me. When it was my turn the professional sandwich makers only made me wait ten minutes before attending to the earthquake that was my growling stomach. The man then proceeded to stick the sharp knife, stabbing the bread like he were gutting a deer; he did so incorrectly and decided to try again. Even though it wasn’t perfect he decided it wasn’t worth the waste of bread, all the while mumbling to himself about how much he hated his job. I’m sure his boss was just a little rough.  He then proceeded to ask me three times if I wanted my bread toasted. No, no, and no.  Here’s the thing: I don’t want my vegetables to be slimy so why would I ever want to toast my bread? He decided that it would be good for me to try something new, so he toasted it anyway. Even with all of the mishaps I knew I could still be on time, it was so thrilling how fast and perfectly they were working.

I thought that after this maybe everything would be okay. Once the, hotter than I wanted, sandwich was made, one of the other workers pulled some fresh cookies out of the oven. AND HE KNOCKED. MY SANDWICH. TO. THE. GROUND. The sandwich maker then (like any decent person would do) made me a new sandwich. I finally got everything taken care of and paid for. However, I realized that my change was wrong by almost 5 dollars. So, having been in the car already I got back out in the sweltering heat to get my five dollars back and after ten minutes of questioning my receipt, I was able to head to rehearsal. It was ten minutes past the start time of the rehearsal, which was an important 20 minutes later than I had previously thought I would be arriving. How would I ever get caught up on what happened? It’s okay. I thought. Next time I will make sure I am more efficient. At least I can always count on Subway when I’m running late.

The author's comments:

This was a satire piece that I wrote about how Subway isn't always the fastest. I didn't mean for this to be offensive in anyway it was strictly meant to be funny, it is however loosly based on a true story, when I was late to rehersal because...of Subway.

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This article has 4 comments.

on May. 7 2018 at 8:08 am
ahmontgomery PLATINUM, Eminence, Kentucky
23 articles 13 photos 44 comments
For some reason Teenink doesn't let italics be used, sorry it does kind of effect how the piece is read

on May. 7 2018 at 7:44 am
ahmontgomery PLATINUM, Eminence, Kentucky
23 articles 13 photos 44 comments
Just got posted.

on May. 7 2018 at 7:31 am
ahmontgomery PLATINUM, Eminence, Kentucky
23 articles 13 photos 44 comments
The editors still haven't reviewed the final version yet, I'll let you know when they have.

on Apr. 26 2018 at 4:40 pm
Derata PLATINUM, Corona, California
21 articles 1 photo 3 comments
As promised I will give you an honest review of your work. Emephasis on the honest, I have no intention of pulling punches, but that also means my praise is genuine as well. I'm afraid I'm not quite sure what your intention in writing this is. It seems more appropriate as a a whimsical anecdote for a Facebook post that a short story. But, as it stands I would say it's bad. You certainly achieve a satirical effect, however I think you could add a satirical tone. What I mean by this is that you deliver the events as if you are saying them out loud to a group of friends, and thus your gone and use of caps is oriented to a spoken delivery. However you have now written this story down, so it ought to reflect a tone more inline with that medium. So my advice would be to actually dive up the satire, don't emphasize the points where they messed up, but rather treat it even more so like that was what you really wanted the whole time. As long as your embellishing the story, make yourself give a generous tip afterwards and add even more errors. Then add a secondary character, another customer in the restaurant perhaps, and have them be the one sensible person. You'll get a little bit of a feel for how to do this be reading some articles from the onion or the books Catch 22 or Hitchickers guide to the Galaxy. As it is the story is decent, but lacks the feeling of being any short of a literary work. You've got a skeleton here, now it's time to but meat on the bones. But you've done alright so far as long as you don't consider this to be in any way a finished product, but then again I don't know what your exact intention for this work are.